Symphony Of Sympathy

"Shi, there's this fair tonight... I know, yeh might already 'ave plans, but I was wondering if yeh wanted to go wit meh. I mean, it’s fine if yeh don’t, I just thought it'd be... fun to go together...." Conner explained nervously. For such a gorgeous guy, he was so incredibly shy. How did I get him?

"Con, of course I'll go. Just give me a few minutes to get ready," I smiled at him, heading up to my room.

Poor boy. Doesn't know what goes on behind closed doors.

Block it out. That's become my immediate reaction, not that it works.

Shiloh. I'm here because you need me to be.

Fucking therapist. I shook my head. Not know, I don’t need this now. Quickly changing, I headed downstairs to Conner, who was waiting patiently by the front door.

"I don't know how I ever got a guy like you," I smiled at him. It was the truth. No one could deny that Conner was the perfect boy.

"I ask myself the same question," he pecked my cheek. "Except about yeh."

Knots twisted and pulled at my stomach and my conscience. I just nodded and smile, tangling my fingers with his as we headed out to his car.

Silence. That was all that was heard on the way to the fair. Not an awkward silence, just.... quiet.

When we got there, tons of kids were running around, screaming with parents chasing after, and a bunch of teens making out behind tents.

If you were here with Oliver, Sierra hissed his name; you'd be one of the people behind tents.

"Let's go on the Ferris Wheel," I said, nudging him in the direction of the ride.

When we finally reached the top, he kissed me. Long and sweet and loving, unlike Oli. Oliver's kisses were harsh and greedy and lustful. Conner just kissed me gently.

My heart broke in two. Truly, the perfect guy. And I was fucking someone behind his back...

He deserves better than you.

There was nothing to tell the voice in my head, nothing to make her shut up. She spoke the truth, and it brought me so close to a breakdown.

When we got off, Conner grabbed my hand. "Close yeh eyes. I'm going to surprise yeh," he grinned, pulling me gently through the crowd. The sound of rides grew quieter, and music could be heard. "Alright, open 'em."

He brought me to the game section, full of those money-wasting games that all you get is a silly stuffed animal. My favorite part of the fair.

"But, Con, you suck at these games," I grinned.

"I'm gonna win yeh that star bear, right there," he stated, heading over to a ring toss booth. After several tries, and much money wasted, he finally won me the bear.
"Impressive," I grinned.

"His name is Success, so don’t yeh dare change it," he laughed, handing me a pink bear with purple stars.

There night was perfect. Conner kept his arm either wrapped around me, or his hand entangled with mine. But deep in the back of my head, Sierra was there. And she wasn’t happy.

Damn it, Shiloh! How can you fucking do this? Conner loves you! And you repay him by screwing around withOliver? I thought I taught you better! Shi, you are going to break this boy's heart. How can you live with that?

I pushed her voice out of my head. Don’t think about her. She's dead. Gone. No more.

"Shiloh, yeh don't have to tell meh what's wrong, but I can tell something is up with yeh. I'm worry, okay?"

My heart sank. "Conner..." I whispered, guilt gnawing at my stomach. "It's nothing, okay? I've just bee a little out of it lately."

He sighed, staring at me with weak eyes. "I don’t know why yeh have to keep secrets from meh, but whatever. It's your choice," he sighed again, and tried to put on a fake smile.

Way to ruin the night, bitch.

You know what? You can shut the fuck up! You aren’t real, so leave me the hell alone!

In my head, there was a full blown war between Sierra and I. In reality, I was just staring forward with a blank expression.

Conner sighed once more, and we headed toward his car. Driving home, there was more silence. Awkward silence. It shouldn't have been there.

He deserves better, and you know that.

He pulled into my small driveway. "Con, just know, no matter what happens, I will always love you," I stated, offering a weak smile.

"I'll always love yeh too, Shi," he smiled, and pulled me into another kiss. Sweet and passionate. Opposite of Oli.

Stop comparing them!

I stepped out of his car, heading to my front door, turning to wave goodbye before closing the door.

And for a little while, I thought he truly wasn’t going to come back tonight. That I could have one night without him.

But then, I heard a knock on the front door. And my spirits sank.

He was back.