Status: Writer's block. Will not be updated often. Sorry.
Symphony Of Sympathy
This Guilt Could Fill A ***ing Sea
Watching Conner walk away, my heart broke. It shattered right then and there.
"Shi, I... I'm sorry. It wasn’t supposed to 'appen, I just-"
"No, Oli. Fucking save it. No matter how much I said no, you just had to. I know I should have had the fucking spine to say no and mean it," I sighed, blinking back tears. "But Lee was right. You just aren’t worth it."
"Shiloh-"
"No, Oli. Just... just don’t even talk to me," I whispered, turning away from him with tears in my eyes. My mouth felt dry as I repeated the words Conner had just spoken to me. But I had to get Conner back, I had to.
"Why?" Oli snaps. I turn to look at him in confusion. "Why must yeh get him back? Obviously yeh didn’t love him that much if yeh kept cheating on him wit meh!"
"Did the countless times I tried so fucking hard to get you to stop mean nothing?" I shout in anger. "If you just knew when no meant no, this wouldn’t be happening!"
With that, I stomp off, out of the room and outside. Looking around, I realize I have no clue where I am, or how to get home. I retreated back into the house, in desperate search of someone who wasn’t drunk. I ran into Tom, who had a glass of water, for he was apparently everyone's ride home.
"Tom, p-please, I need you to take me home, or to Conner's.... Just get me out of this fucking party," I sputtered out to him.
"Shi, what's wrong? Calm down, love," Tom seemed surprised by my desperation to leave. "I thought yeh wanted to party..."
"Get me the fuck out of this party... Please, Tom, I need to get out of here!" A few tears streamed down my face. "I'll explain everything in the car, just... I can't stay here..."
Tom seemed puzzled, but wrapped his arm around me, guiding me through the crowd and out to my car, telling me how he'd get it back to me tomorrow. He put the key in, getting the engine running before turning to face me. "What's wrong?"
I took a deep breath, trying to gather myself. "Tom, I... I've been cheating on Conner.... with Oli."
You really are such a whore. Glad you're finally admitting it.
Tom's face clouded over with confusion. "Yeh have been sleeping wit my brother? Shi, what the fuck?"
I began shaking, a tear sticking to my eyelashes. "Conner caught us. Tonight. He was here, and Oli kissed me, and Conner fucking saw... and I need to get him back! Please, take me to Conner's!"
"Shiloh, no. Why the hell would Conner want to take yeh back after this? I mean, honestly... Oli?"
I find it amusing how all of your friends even know it was wrong, especially because it was with Oliver.
Sierra was becoming a real bitch.
"Tom! I don’t care if you never trust me again. I need to get Conner back!" I cried to him. When he shook his head, I ran my hands through my hair, attempting to recollect myself. "I need to at least try!"
"If you weren’t drinking, you'd be finding your own way home, you know that, right?" Tom growled at me.
Shrinking in my seat, I refused to even look at him. Not that it mattered; he wasn’t looking at me either. "I've never regretted something so much, Tom..."
"Why'd yeh do it, then?"
"It started when I first moved here, " I explained, scared of the very topic. "I met Oli at a party, and we kissed. But I knew it wasn’t right. Even as 'the new girl' I knew his shitty reputation. And then I met Conner. I sorta knew, it was love at first sight... for one half. I may not love Conner now, but I sure as hell needed to fucking try! But Oli.. I've pretty much been his daily fuck since the day I turned 16."
"Shi, I don’t understand why yeh didn’t tell him to stop," Tom yelled at me. I cringed, knowing I deserved it.
"I tried. But I have no fucking spine. Tom.. I want to take it all back. If Sierra was still alive, and it was me who took the bullet to the head... Things would be so much easier for everyone," I sniffled.
Tom sat silently, his focus on driving. Finally, he pulled into Conner's driveway, and I hopped out of the car. "Shiloh," he called out the window.
I turned around, staring at him with my burning eyes. "Yes?"
"Conner deserves much better then yeh." With that, his window rolled up, and he drove off, leaving me in the cold, tears practically frozen onto my cheeks.
"Shi, I... I'm sorry. It wasn’t supposed to 'appen, I just-"
"No, Oli. Fucking save it. No matter how much I said no, you just had to. I know I should have had the fucking spine to say no and mean it," I sighed, blinking back tears. "But Lee was right. You just aren’t worth it."
"Shiloh-"
"No, Oli. Just... just don’t even talk to me," I whispered, turning away from him with tears in my eyes. My mouth felt dry as I repeated the words Conner had just spoken to me. But I had to get Conner back, I had to.
"Why?" Oli snaps. I turn to look at him in confusion. "Why must yeh get him back? Obviously yeh didn’t love him that much if yeh kept cheating on him wit meh!"
"Did the countless times I tried so fucking hard to get you to stop mean nothing?" I shout in anger. "If you just knew when no meant no, this wouldn’t be happening!"
With that, I stomp off, out of the room and outside. Looking around, I realize I have no clue where I am, or how to get home. I retreated back into the house, in desperate search of someone who wasn’t drunk. I ran into Tom, who had a glass of water, for he was apparently everyone's ride home.
"Tom, p-please, I need you to take me home, or to Conner's.... Just get me out of this fucking party," I sputtered out to him.
"Shi, what's wrong? Calm down, love," Tom seemed surprised by my desperation to leave. "I thought yeh wanted to party..."
"Get me the fuck out of this party... Please, Tom, I need to get out of here!" A few tears streamed down my face. "I'll explain everything in the car, just... I can't stay here..."
Tom seemed puzzled, but wrapped his arm around me, guiding me through the crowd and out to my car, telling me how he'd get it back to me tomorrow. He put the key in, getting the engine running before turning to face me. "What's wrong?"
I took a deep breath, trying to gather myself. "Tom, I... I've been cheating on Conner.... with Oli."
You really are such a whore. Glad you're finally admitting it.
Tom's face clouded over with confusion. "Yeh have been sleeping wit my brother? Shi, what the fuck?"
I began shaking, a tear sticking to my eyelashes. "Conner caught us. Tonight. He was here, and Oli kissed me, and Conner fucking saw... and I need to get him back! Please, take me to Conner's!"
"Shiloh, no. Why the hell would Conner want to take yeh back after this? I mean, honestly... Oli?"
I find it amusing how all of your friends even know it was wrong, especially because it was with Oliver.
Sierra was becoming a real bitch.
"Tom! I don’t care if you never trust me again. I need to get Conner back!" I cried to him. When he shook his head, I ran my hands through my hair, attempting to recollect myself. "I need to at least try!"
"If you weren’t drinking, you'd be finding your own way home, you know that, right?" Tom growled at me.
Shrinking in my seat, I refused to even look at him. Not that it mattered; he wasn’t looking at me either. "I've never regretted something so much, Tom..."
"Why'd yeh do it, then?"
"It started when I first moved here, " I explained, scared of the very topic. "I met Oli at a party, and we kissed. But I knew it wasn’t right. Even as 'the new girl' I knew his shitty reputation. And then I met Conner. I sorta knew, it was love at first sight... for one half. I may not love Conner now, but I sure as hell needed to fucking try! But Oli.. I've pretty much been his daily fuck since the day I turned 16."
"Shi, I don’t understand why yeh didn’t tell him to stop," Tom yelled at me. I cringed, knowing I deserved it.
"I tried. But I have no fucking spine. Tom.. I want to take it all back. If Sierra was still alive, and it was me who took the bullet to the head... Things would be so much easier for everyone," I sniffled.
Tom sat silently, his focus on driving. Finally, he pulled into Conner's driveway, and I hopped out of the car. "Shiloh," he called out the window.
I turned around, staring at him with my burning eyes. "Yes?"
"Conner deserves much better then yeh." With that, his window rolled up, and he drove off, leaving me in the cold, tears practically frozen onto my cheeks.
♠ ♠ ♠
This is really short, and it took way longer than it should have. I was gone for 10 days (i got home last sunday) and I had tried updating before I left, but I didn't get the chance.And it's been so hectic. I know, excuses excuses. You can be mad at me.
And also, I've been working really hard on an upcoming chapter. It was something that was really hard for me to write (haha, no. it is not a sex scene.) But I finally finished it, so I can focus on writing the current chapters. =]
Still no guesses on what song this is based on? You really can't tell yet, but the chapter I've been working on is when the song really comes into play.