Morse Code Messages

Davie’s uncle owned a cattle ranch that was about ten miles outside of Key West. It was in the middle of nowhere and there was a large barn right in the middle of the field. I’d only been there once but I remembered everything about it.

I was the only one that was fascinated by the cattle. We were at a cattle ranch so I’d assumed that was what I should be excited about. I liked how none of the cows looked the same; some were the same color as chocolate milk while others were the darkest shade of black I’d ever seen. There were lightly colored ones and then there were ones that were a burnt color.

I was fascinated by how all of them were such diverse colors yet none of them discriminated against one another.

I’d tried telling Davie this but she wasn’t interested in the cows and she told me that if the cows were the only thing I noticed then I was obviously oblivious toward everything in the world.

Apparently, Davie and the rest of the gang had met Sock and his friends at her uncle’s cattle ranch. I’d seen the boys that worked there but I didn’t pay much attention to any of them. They were simply the boys that were paid to take care of all the beautiful cows. I guess, in Davie’s head, they were the guys that were around to take care of us.

I sat on the worn couch awkwardly, holding a glass of wine in my hand delicately.

Louie had spent the night at my house and at around midnight she’d convinced me to sneak out, whispering things about boys and Davie. I didn’t really want to go but I didn’t want to be left out either so I’d complied, following her out of my bedroom window.

She made me walk all ten miles and then we had to walk the entire way to the barn, where a party was, apparently, ensuing. I’d stopped before we made our way into eyesight, not quite sure I wanted to be associated with everyone’s careless behavior toward life.

Louie simply rolled her eyes, telling me that if I didn’t live a little I’d be stuck in the same spot my entire life. I still didn’t want to frolic around a barn at one o’clock in the morning but I really didn’t want to be stuck in the same spot my entire life. I’d believed Louie; everything that came out of her mouth was meant to be followed, therefore I’d followed her.

When we made our way into the barn a cluster of boys and girls were crowded around, acting like our parents at the annual New Years Eve party the town held every year. Only, half the people here were underage and probably didn’t have their license as of yet.

I’d shuffled my way to the uncomfortable looking couch in the corner once someone shoved a glass of cheap looking wine into my hand.

I’d been sitting in the same spot for a good hour or so, watching as my friends snuck away from the rowdy group. I tried to muster up an ounce of confidence. I tried to just go out and mingle but I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t that type of person -- I didn’t like associating myself with others. I was perfectly content with the people I had in my life and meeting someone new just wasn’t on my list of things to do.

“Bored?”

I jumped slightly, turning my head to meet the grinning face of Sock.

I felt my cheeks heat up ghastly, nodding my head in a meek manner. The room had gone from being extremely cold to feeling like Hell on earth. I felt like an idiot, not being able to compose myself in front of boy when he’d only said one simple word.

Sock plopped down beside me, slipping the cigarette that had been behind his ear out and sticking it between his lips. He didn’t light it or anything. He just kept it there, making it seem as if it was lit even though it obviously wasn’t.

Sock turned his head in my direction, a serious look on his face. “Ya don’t wanna be here do you?”

I wrinkled my nose a little, murmuring a quiet ‘no.’

Sock nodded slowly, tapping his thumbs against his slacks. He wasn’t wearing a cap that night, so his hair was visible. He had it cropped short, just above his ears. The contrast between his dark hair made his eyes pop. They looked even bluer now that he wasn’t wearing his cap. And the sprinkle of freckles on his nose seemed lighter, but were still pleasing to the eye.

“If ya don’t wanna be here,” Sock spoke slowly, “then what are ya doin’ here?”

I blinked, staring back at him stupidly. “Louie wanted me to come.”

“So?” He shrugged, staring at me as if I had no brain of my own. In a way, I don’t really think I had a brain of my own. All I wanted to do was keep up with my friends. I wanted them to accept me and I wanted them to know that I could keep up with their new behavior.

I opened my mouth to reply, only to be interrupted by a deep voice. Both Sock and I looked up, our eyes landing on a lanky blonde. His hair was a bit shaggy looking, unlike the rest of the boys and his eyes were muddy color, giving him a distinct look.

The boy smiled cockily, “hello boy and girl.”

I moved out of the way quickly, watching as the boy fell in between me and Sock. He smelt of peppermint and cloves. The young man slung one arm across Sock’s shoulders and the other around my shoulders, causing the feel of claustrophobia to float above our bodies.

“You didn’t tell me you had yourself a girl, Sock.”


“I don’t,” Sock mumbled, detaching himself from the couch. Sock glanced at me, frowning as he backed away slowly. Pulling out a packet of matches from his back pocket, he spoke. “She ain’t mine, just a friend o’ Davie’s.”

A pang of dejection hit me right in the face, making me feel even more pathetic than I already was. It was only the second time I’d met Sock, so of course I wasn’t his, but his words still hurt. It was almost like he was just telling me to leave or to just get out of his life.

His words made me feel like I didn’t belong in his world.

I watched as Sock made his way out of the barn, the young man sitting beside me breathing onto my neck. I struggled to keep myself from hurling all over our feet, seeing as how his breath smelt of alcohol and something else I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to know.

“I’m James,”

I nodded timidly, “Mickey.”

“How old are you, Mickey?”

Heaving in a deep breath of air, I gave him my name. My eyes scanned the crowded barn, looking for someone. It didn’t matter who it was, as long as it was someone I knew. It could even be Fanny, I didn’t really care.

I just wanted to go back home.

“-- do you like chicken?”

Swallowing, I murmured my response. “Yes, I like chicken. Why do you ask?”

James turned my body toward his own. “Any girl that likes chicken is my own personal hero.”

“That’s amazing,” I mumbled dryly, standing up slowly. “But I have to go home. Um, now. Yes, my mom wants me, um... home.”

James nodded an understanding, splaying out across the disgusting old couch. His blonde hair fell into his eyes, covering their ugly brown color. He gave me a small smile before closing his eyes and turning his head into the crook of his arms, trying to fall asleep.

Completely forgetting about the obnoxious young man, I wound my way through the crowd of bodies, desperately trying to find someone I knew. My eyes stayed peeled, specifically looking out for familiar heads of hair.

I made it all the way outside, not coming in contact with a single person I knew. Wrapping my arms around my body, I made my way toward the side of the barn. I didn’t really expect anyone to be over there but I figured it would be a nice escape from the rowdy bunch of boys and girls I’d been forced to stay with.

I stood idle for a few minutes before I heard a familiar giggle erupt a little farther down.

Arching an eyebrow, I shuffled a bit farther down. The giggle had turned into a lacing of voices. I couldn’t quite place who the voices belonged to but I knew that I was familiar with them. Touching my hand to the side of the barn, making sure that I wouldn’t lose my way, I strained my ears.

“Do you like her?”

I racked my brain, trying to figure out who’s voice it was. I stood like that for a few seconds before it came to me. The voice belong to Davie. I was pleased that I had finally come across someone that I knew. Just as I was about to make my way toward her I stopped, realizing that she was still conversing with whomever it was that was with her.

“Do I like who?”

I could hear Davie groan loudly, shoving something away. “You know who I’m talking about.”

“No,” the male voice chuckled, “I don’t.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to figure out who the boy was. Again, I racked my brain. I listed off various names, trying to put their voices into my head but came up empty. I was going to give up before I realized that the voice belonged to Sock.

“Do,” Davie giggled, “you like ‘Key?”

I stood still, awaiting Sock’s reply. My heart fluttered to the top of my chest, putting my faith into my own stupid thoughts and hoping that he would say yes, that he did like me. I shouldn’t have expected much, seeing as how we didn’t know each other at all but I still didn’t expect such a harsh answer.

“I could never like someone that was so lame.”

A spring of tears pricked the back of my eyes. I turned around quickly, making my way back into the barn. James was still sprawled across the couch. I used him as my target, making my way toward his body.

I sat on the couch for a while. Feeling stupid and dejected and young and simply unknowing when it came to the world. I felt like I was a stranger and my friends were the government; telling me everything to do but not stopping to help me.

Staring up at a cobweb, I shook away my thoughts.

If Sock wasn’t going to like me I wasn’t going to like Sock.