Deadly Perception

I don't know how long I've been laying here listening to the deafening silence. I do know that I'm a few brain cells short of going completely mad. Furthermore, the pain pangs of hunger are racking through my stomach. I can practically feel it rumble when it growls. But, the mere thought of food makes my gut convulse. There is no possible thought of relief. Not even my own thoughts can bring me comfort anymore.

So the only thing I can really do is lay here, and wait for Jack to return. It's kind of pathetic how I've lost the will to somehow save myself. But, I'm locked in a basement with next to no windows. I'm truly screwed. I wonder what is the quickest, painless way to commit suicide when you barely have any resources. You can't really suffocate yourself, or can you? Maybe I could repeatedly bang my head against the floor. But, I know I'd stop when the pain becomes too unbearble.

The truth is that no matter how much I don't want to live anymore, I'm too much of a coward to actually do anything about it. When I'm left to my own devices, I'm hopeless at going far enough to kill myself. Maybe I could provoke one of the guys- like Blaze or Dalton. I'm sure they'd lose their patience with me and slit my throat or something. That way it wouldn't be in my power to postpone my death.

Wow, a week ago I'd never expected to be plotting my own death. But, that's because a week ago I had a family. I had friends. And, most of all, I had Nick. I shouldn't think of his name, not now. I can't help but wonder what he'd say or think if he found out I was dead. Would he cry? Laugh? Scream? Or would he not even care enough to think about it or show emotion? The possibility of the last one being true shatters my heart.

The sound of the door creaking open brings me to attention. He's back. I try to move and hide, but the now dried blood caked on my skin makes me stiff. All I can do is stay there and listen to his footsteps as they come down the stairs. They aren't as upbeat as usual. Actually, they're kind of slow and hesitant. Once I hear him reach the bottom of the stairs, where I'd be able to see him, I look up and gasp.

It's not Jack. It's not Nate. It's not Dalton. It's not Blaze. It's Nick. I can hear my heart pounding erratically in my chest. I'm seconds away from having a heart attack. Either he's really here or I'm already dead and in Heaven. I doubt it's the last one cause Heaven couldn't possibly hurt this bad. Maybe it's Hell and the Devil is disguised as Nick since he's trying to torment me with the one this I long for the most.

Nick's face is a mixture of concern, worry, and guilt. He doesn't waste time in rushing over to me. When he kneels down next to me, I flinch away. His eyebrows crinkle in hurt, and now I'm the one who feels guilty. After all, I'd never seen Nick so dejected, so tired. Was I the cause of this? Does he actually care?

"What are you doing down here?" I question softly. I'm afraid that if I speak too loud he'll disappear. Like a ghost. Nick's hand reaches out and touches my cheek gently. I lean into his warm hand with a small smile. It's been so long. And, it almost makes me forget all my suicidal thoughts from earlier.

"I would've come sooner, but the guys never leave," he tells me.

"They're gone?" I question in surprise. "And, they left you here unattended?" That's very irresponsible of Jack, l'm shocked. I figured that he always thought things out.

Nick smiles proudly down at me. "Let's just say that I've been playing unconscious for the past couple of days. Luckily, Nate was the one keeping an eye on me. The guy's a dimwad, he even left the door to the room I was in unlocked." At this, both of us laugh. But, I do send a silent 'Thank You' to Nate. I still hate him, but he is the reason that Nick's here with me.

"Well, I must admit that that's the smartest thing Nate's ever done," I say playfully. I struggle to raise myself on my elbows so I could finally kiss him. He notices, and leans down so I wouldn't have to do too much work.

I hate to sound cliche, but when we kiss it's like an explosion. It skips over the gentle stage completely, and moves straight into a heated make-out session. It's the perfect way to release all our pent-up anger and frustration of the situation and our longing for each other. It isn't until his arm moves around my back and pulls me cup against him, that pain shoots through my body. I gasp and abruptly pull away.

"S-sorry. I... I wasn't...-"

"It's fine. It's not your fault. I just have some bruises back there and my body's still a little sore, that's all." I try to smile through the pain, but I think it came out as more of a grimace.

I can tell by Nick's expression that the whole previous rape situation is finally catching up to him. "This is all my fault. I could've done more... I should've done more. You must hate me so much...-"

"Hey!" I call out. He's rambling and he's going to drive himself insane. Trust me, I know. I've been there before. Nick doesn't seem to hear me though. In fact, he seems to be talking more to himself than to me.

"...I'd understand if you never forgive me. And, you shouldn't because I lied to you and...-"

"Nick!" I do the only thing I can think of, I slap him. He stops talking and looks incredibly shocked. I can't help but giggle at his expression. He never saw that coming.

"I'm sorry, but you were talkng to yourself and it was starting to scare me," I joke trying to lighten the mood.

Nick cracks a smile. "Yeah, I needed that wake up call. We've got to get going. We're running short on time."

"What do you mean get going?"

"If you think that I'm just going to let you waste away down here now that I've found you, you've got another thing coming." He winks down at me before standing up. I finally understand where he's going with this. We're going to escape! I'm so beside myself at the thought that I can't even speak.

I struggle to get up, but whimper in pain as soon as I move my legs. I keep forgetting that I'm practically immobile down there. Nick looks at me sympathetically and bends down to gently scoop me up in his arms. He makes sure that he barely moves me as he effortlessly raises me up. My arms wrap instinctively around his neck.

"You didn't think I was going to let you walk by yourself did you?" He smirks at me.

"Well I wouldn't expect you to want to carry me. I've got blood and God knows what else all over me." Nick shakes his head and chuckles as we make our way up the stairs.

"Good thing we've got enough time to fix that." Before, I can ask what he means, we're in the bathroom. He sits me down on the edge of the tub.

It's quiet for a minute, and Nick rubs the back of his neck nervously. "Do you think you can um...-"

"Take my clothes off by myself?" I finish for him. My voice has a laughing undertone to it.

"Yeah. I mean... I definitely have no problem doing it...-" He pauses and smacks himself on the forehead. "That sounded so wrong! I mean, you know I respect your privacy, and everything so..."

"I've got it," I say before he hurts himself. He smiles at me, and comes over to kiss my forehead.

"I'll go get some new clothes for you, okay?" I nod and watch him leave.

I slowly strip off my clothes. It really does hurt to be honest. Especially bending over to take off my skirt. But, I manage without screaming or crying. When I'm done, I toss them into the gabage can. I plug the drain, and fill the tub almost up to the brim with water and soap. I gently manuever my body into the warm, sweet- smelling soapy water. It's pure Heaven. I hold my breath and dunk my head under. When I come back up, I almost feel completely refreshed. If the water hadn't been tinged a bloody red, everything would really be perfect.

Nick returns a few minutes later with my purple dress from the dance in his hand. I laugh when I see it, and he grins sheepishly at me.

"Sorry, but it's all I could find." He places the dress on the clothing rack before coming over to me. His eyes never leave my face as he kneels down beside the tub. His fingers brush away the wet strands of hair that are stuck to my cheek. He kisses me softly this time.

He rests his chin on my shoulder, and our heads lean against each other. His arms wrap around my stomach underwater, but they don't move higher or lower. I'm glad that this moment isn't awkward or that he isn't trying anything. It just shows me how much he really does care.

"You know," he says glancing over at the dress. "It's a shame you never really got to wear it." He kisses my shoulder. "You were the true definition of beauty in that dress."

"Maybe next time," I tell him. He kisses me one last time before standing up and reaching for a towel. He holds it open for me. My relaxed limbs actually allow me to stand up with minimal pain. Nick wraps the towel around me and hugs me tightly.

"Come on," he says. "I need to explain where we're going."

I stare up at him in confusion. "We're not going home now?" I ask.

"That's the first place Jack's going to look for you," he tells me. "So as of now, we're never going home."