Like a Fool

“Mom?” My voice sounded louder than expected. She looked up with bleary eyes, “Are you going to let him come?” I hoped to God that she wasn’t going to give in.

“I-I don’t know.” She said trying not to let her words sound feeble.

“You can’t! You can’t let him turn our lives upside down again!” If she gave in our family would never be the same. “We’ve been doing so well with out him messing things up!”

“Honey even though this sounds completely ridiculous I miss your father. I loved him so much and it broke my heart when he left. I never fully recovered.”

“But that’s why he can’t come back! It will only bring up painful memories! If he comes back you’ll never get over him.” I whispered the last part. The need for closure was strong but this wasn’t the way to get it. He shouldn’t have contacted us.

“I think he has to come. I’m sorry Candy Cain but I at least need to know if he’s moved on.” She had her head down and I could tell her mind was made up.

I couldn’t say anything, my voice wouldn’t let me. I just stood up then ran up the stairs and into my room. We were doing just fine until the bastard had to show up again!

I felt the urge to call Matt right away but something told me not to. He was probaly too busy with his fuck buddy to actually have a real emotion for once.

I was shocked at my last thought. How could I hold such contempt for my best friend?

Because he betrayed me.

But how could going out with a person be betrayal? He was just doing what he thought would be fun, and I can’t control who he dates! The status of our relationship is friends and that’s all it will ever be. Just friends.

Why is it that when ever I get sad, angry, or depressed I start to think about more saddening, angering, or depressing things?! It doesn’t make sense! I sighed and sat up in my bed. I needed to stop thinking.

I didn’t know what to do with myself. I’m always with a friend unless it’s at night. I’m not used to sitting alone in my room staring at my walls for inspiration.

Suddenly I got an idea and bolted off my bed then out the front door. I ran to the park, the only place I could truly let myself go. I sat on the swings and watched the breeze ruffle the tree’s bright green leaves.

Not many people came to this park and because of that it had a slightly woebegone feeling to it, but I loved it just the same.

I kept up my slow pace on the swing just taking in the beautiful scenery around me. I sighed and rested my head on the chain of the swing.

After only ten minutes of solitude I saw someone making their way towards the park. I couldn’t make out who it was but I didn’t mind, I probaly didn’t know them anyway.

But that theory proved wrong when it turned out to be Adam walking towards me. “Hey there stranger.” I said happily, I was glad he was here for some reason.

“Hey Cain! What are you doing here?” He sat beside me on another swing.

“Escaping life, want to join?” I asked swinging a bit faster.

He laughed “Sure why not? May I ask what made you want to escape?”

“Eh, stupid crap about my father. But why are you here?” I asked trying to deflect the conversation from my father.

He seemed to get the hint “Well my little sister was whining about something and my mother was whining about something and my father was whining about all the whining so... yeah... I had to get out of there.”

I laughed “I would want to escape too.” And then we started talking about anything that crossed our minds. Soon enough the sun was setting and I was getting cold.

“We should probaly go home now.” He said standing up. I nodded then stood up letting the blood flow back into my numb legs. “Would you like me to walk you home?”

I smiled “I’d like that.” So we both set off towards my house a comfortable silence filling the air. Once we got to my door he stopped and turned to face me.

“I really liked hanging out with you.” He said almost quietly “Do you think that maybe uhh... well... uhh... never mind.” He said the last part in a rush and turned to leave. He was actually at the side walk before he stopped turned around and ran back. “You know what fuck it.” He said before his lips came crashing down on mine.

At first I didn’t respond, I was too shocked to process what was going on. As he was about to pull away I wrapped my arms around his neck and started kissing back.

We both pulled away rather breathless “What I was trying to say was, will you go out with me?” He finally got out.

My smile turned into an ear to ear grin as I nodded enthusiastically.

“How about Friday at seven?” Again I nodded. He gave me a kiss on the check then started his walk to his house.

I entered the door way in a daze, he had asked me out! I could finally give Matt a taste of his own medicine!

But that last thought surprised me. How could I think of Matt in a time like this?! Adam was supposed to let me forget about Matt! I shook my head trying to get these confusing thoughts out.

I walked up to my room and jumped on my bed. I knew I had to tell Carleigh but I think I’d wait until tomorrow. At the moment I had a lot of sleep to catch up on.

And with out another thought I fell into a peaceful sleep.

***