Like a Fool

Once I was back into the comfort of my car armed with a large coffee and several slips of paper with phone numbers printed on them I set off to get back to school. But as I was nearly there I decided that perhaps my time would be better spent looking for a new location. It was also partly because I had my next class with Carleigh, and desperately wanted to avoid questions.

I didn't need someone telling me how stupid it was, or how dangerous, or someone trying to talk me out of it. I was so tempted to go back home and be taken care of, if someone I trusted told me to then I would give in. But I needed to remain strong, for all of our sakes.

I meandered back to the motel and after locking the door behind me, set upon stripping my bed. The new quilt, pillows, and sheets really made a difference. It was starting to feel less like a bed for rent and more like a crappy apartment.

Now seated on my newly improved bed I grabbed the hand set and started to dial those on the scraps of paper.

An hour later and I was no where nearer to finding a home than I was to forgetting how to read. Each person I called either creeped the hell out of me, was asking too much for rent, or had a ridiculous set of rules. I didn't realized that renter also meant live-in maid...

I finally came down to the last scrap of purple paper. I dialed with my fingers crossed and hopped for the best.

"Hello?" A pleasant female voice answered.

"Hi, this is Cain Edwards. I'm calling about your flier for a new roommate."

"Oh! Sick, my names Adrian. So rent is 350 a month, I have an extra bedroom and we'd share a bathroom. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, sounds great!"

"Perfect, I've also got a pretty spacious kitchen. But I don't cook so you'd have it to yourself."

"I love to cook." I was so incredibly excited!

"Well I think we should meet just to make sure we'd be able to live together. How about Wednesday at five?"

"Sounds awesome, where do you want to meet?"

"How about Starbucks off of Grand? But I've also got two other people who have called, I'm going to meet them earlier that day. So just saying if you're the perfect fit then you'd get the extra room but it's not guaranteed."

"I'm fine with that. It's better than living in a motel."

"I agree. Well see you then!"

"Bye Adrian." Once we hung up I gave a happy squeal and jumped on the bed. If this all goes right then I'd be out of here by the end of the week! And 350 sounded perfect, I made at least 450 a month so that would give me plenty of money for groceries. I assumed that she would pay the same amount for rent, and 700 could get you a pretty decent apartment around here.

And Adrian sounded nice enough, maybe we'd hit it off and I'd be able to put this crap behind me! I quickly dialed Adam to tell him the good news.

"I'm not going to lie, I'm a little nervous. What if Adrian is some secret psychopath?" I could tell he was pacing, even over the phone.

"Then I find out on Wednesday and don't move in with her! I promise, I'm a good judge of people."

"I know that but still, I can't help but be nervous."

"That's because you're an old woman." I giggled.

"Ha ha. Very funny. I guess worrying about you makes me old." He joked.

"Yep it does. But thank you anyway."

"So where were you today?"

I rolled my eyes, that wasn't a very smooth transition "I was finding roommates, and calm down it was only government! And lunch of course but I'm sure I didn't miss much."

"Well, Carleigh came over to me spitting fire. She demanded I tell her where you were, and was ranting about you being reckless."

"Yeah, that sounds like her. But you didn't tell her right?"

"Ha, you know funny story." He laughed awkwardly.

"Adam." I said warningly. "You didn't tell her right?"

"She's just looking out for you! And she swore she wouldn't tell Brian, or Jimmy, or Johnny, or Zacky, and especially not Matt."

"For both your sakes, I hope she keeps that promise." I muttered darkly. Before he could respond there was a loud knocking at my door. "Hold on." I set phone down and looked through the peep hole. Sure enough it was Carleigh tapping her foot impatiently. "I'll have to call you back." I ended the call.

"What are you thinking?!" Carleigh bust through the open door way. "This place is a dump! It looks like every set for every horror movie!"

"Nice to see you too, here come on in!" I said in a fake cheery voice.

"Cain, what were you thinking?"

"Oh don't even start. You're starting to sound like Adam and Matt. Look, I'm doing this because it's obvious that I need to grow up. It's ridiculous that someone my age is still running away from home, afraid of the dark, and afraid of storms!"

"No it's not! It's you! And no one's fears are stupid, you of all people should believe that!"

"Carleigh, I need to do this. I need to prove to Matt that I don't need him making my decisions. Maybe if I start controlling my life a little better then he'll be okay with me dating Adam."

"You're doing this all for two guys?" She asked flopping down on the bed.

"No, I'm doing it for my boyfriend and my best friend since pre-K. That's much different than doing it for random guys."

"Okay, fine. But are you just going to camp out in a motel until all this ends? That's going to get expensive, no matter how crappy this place is."

"I know, but I've got an interview type thing with a girl I might be able to room with."

"You're going to share an apartment with a complete stranger? That's beyond suicidal."

"No it's not. People do it all the time, and she sounds like a very nice girl."

"Yeah, but she might be a psychopath!"

I rolled my eyes "You sound like Adam." Before she could protest "I don't want to live on my own but this is something I need to do. You should have heard what they said, it sounded like they (not just Matt) were tired of having to check on me every two seconds. And I don't want to be a burden."

She looked at me with sad eyes "How could you think you were a burden?"

"I'm not stupid, I know when people don't take me seriously. Matt just thinks I'm an immature little girl, and he's getting fed up."

"You're an idiot. He's not fed up with you, he's fed up with Adam. He likes you! You should have seen him when Adam told him you were living in a motel. He was rampaging around like a wounded elephant! He's worried sick and so are the rest of us!"

"Adam did what now?" I asked firing up.

"Oh shit... I wasn't supposed to tell you that huh?" She laughed nervously, running a hand through her hair.

"I'll fucking kill him! Why is it that the men in my life think they can control what I do?!"

"Speaking of men, you mom is worried too."

I wrinkled my brow "How is that 'speaking of men'?!"

"Well because you're dad's in town..."

"How did you know that?" I asked, my voice dropping dramatically from the yelling to a near whisper.

"Okay, don't get mad but your mom told me everything. She told me how your dad was cheating and then he just skipped town and now he's back."

"My dad did what now?" I never knew why they were fighting that night, which is why I his leaving stung so much. I thought maybe it was because of me.

"How do I always spill the beans?" She asked herself staring at the ceiling.