Like a Fool

In English I've always learned that doors symbolize a change, normally going from the dangerous outside world into one of safety and love. I felt none of that as I walked into my motel room, I'm supposed to feel at home in my own little world but I can't help but think of what landed me here. My mooch of a dead beat father, my supposed support system of best friends, my boyfriend...

Fuck.

My boyfriend.

I haven't even thought about him in all the excitement. From actually getting the interview and now getting the room all that's been on my mind is my new life and Matt. How could I be thinking of someone who isn't my boyfriend and completely ignore the one I'm supposed to be with?

Out of sight really does mean out of mind...

I flopped onto the lumpy bed for the last time "Hey Matt I'm going to call Adam, can you grab all my stuff from the bathroom?" And without waiting for a response I quickly added "Thanks, you're a doll!" And put the receiver to my ear.

On the second ring he answered with a sullen "Hello?"

"Hey Adam!" I tried to chipper and ignore this very unenthusiastic greeting.

"Oh, hey Cain. Finally remember your boyfriend?" Okay, so maybe out of sight out of mind didn't quite apply for him.

"I didn't forget you! There's hardly been a free moment for me in all the excitement!"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? It's been too exciting for you to call me? Really? That's the excuse you're going with?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes "Can I just explain the good news to you before you get too angry?" Silence "Fine... I got the apartment! I move in Saturday!" More silence "Aww! Come on, can't you pause your anger for just a second and be happy for me?"

"Really?" He repeated "You haven't talked to me since Monday and now you want my support?"

"Adam, I'm sorry I made you upset. I've just been trying to lay low for a while. I swear I didn't mean to not call you like that but I've been so stressed with my whole situation. And I don't think that that gives me an excuse but I really am sorry and I want to share this with you!"

You got to love being a diplomat!

He gave a heavy sigh "Fine Cain, I'm happy for you. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Yep!" I gave a chipper reply but I could tell he wasn't really in the mood "But what I really want to hear is that you'll come over and help me pack up!"

"I thought you weren't moving in until Saturday?"

"Yeah but," I paused, perhaps telling him this would be a bad idea... "I'm going to stay at Matt's until then. I'm just ready to get out of this hell hole."

"You're going to live with Matt?"

"I have an idea, lets talk about this when you get here!" I said trying to keep my voice light and happy.

"Fine, but we will talk about it."

"You got it Mr. Boss-man. Bye!" And I quickly hung up.

"Why did you have to invite him over?" Matt whined.

"Because he's my boyfriend and I haven't even spoken to him since Monday. Now stop complaining and help me get these sheets off the bed." I attempted to ignore the bad feeling in my gut by distracting myself with packing all over again but I just couldn't mange it.

The door opened and I was met with a stony-faced Adam. Clearly my gut was correct.

"He's here now?" He asked in reference to Matt. Of course Adam didn't make eye contact but Matt stared him down, daring him to make a move.

"Yes, he's helping me pack. He is my best friend after all." Why did I have to justify myself to him like this? There is nothing wrong with Matt being here!

He scoffed "Ha! Some best friend! You've been fighting since we got together and he's the one who drove to you move into this crime-scene!" He gestured to the room around us.

"Look buddy if you have a problem with me, why don't you actually talk to me and not make Cain deal with your crap."

Seriously, now? They choose now to fight? When I'm all happy and pumped up? What buzz-kills!

"Okay, here Matthew. I have a problem with you. Cain told me all about your little girlfriend and how she treats Cain, and quite frankly I can't believe that her so-called 'best friend'," He put air quotes around the phrase "could let her get away with that!"

"You don't understand the situation. When I heard that Cain moved into this shit hole I broke it off. I don't want my best friend here. You need to get your damn fact straight before you go accusing me of anything." He had stalked forward and was nose to nose with the slightly shorter Adam.

"Wait what? You broke up with the whore?" I asked cheerfully. Buzz restored!

"Yes, I'll tell you later." He said turning back to Adam.

"I may not know the whole situation but I do know that for all the best friend talk I've been hearing I haven't seen you display any quality a best friend is supposed to have! And don't think I haven't seen the way you look at her!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"It means you want her to be more than your best friend! You want to bang her! But with the way you treat girls I want you nowhere near her!"

"What the fuck?!" I finally jumped in. "'Bang me'? I'm right here! And he doesn't not want to 'bang' me!"

"Cain, I'm a guy. I know when guys give girls a certain look. And that look is the 'I want you' look."

"Okay you're delusional." I said falling back onto the bed.

"Look bottom line, I don't want you to see him anymore." I shot up but Matt beat me to the punch.