Atoning

The next Monday I had Transfiguration, where we were working on the theory behind Vanishing Spells. "When things are vanished," McGonagall explained, "they go into nonbeing - which is to say, they go into everything. This is useful because it allows Conjuring Spells to work - but conjuring is NEWT-level work. The Vanishing Spell is one of the most difficult spells you will be tested on, which is why we are starting so early. We will revisit this periodically throughout the year. This spell was created in the early fifteenth century..."

As McGonagall continued to lecture, my mind began to wander. Not surprisingly, it latched onto what had happened the night before, when I had left the practice room close to tears. I supposed I just wasn't used to failing at things, especially failing at them where my students were succeeding.

My musings took the entire class period, apparently, because I was shaken from my thoughts by the bell ringing. My classmates hurried to pack their things and leave the room, but I went to McGonagall's desk.

"Professor?"

"Yes?" she said, clearly not used to a student staying behind to talk to her.

"May I speak with you sometime this afternoon after classes?"

"Of course," she said. "Come to my office after your dinner. Dare I ask what this is about?"

"Animagus transformations," I replied.

She nodded. "After dinner."

"Thank you, Professor," I said, and left.

When I was walking to her office that evening, I was intercepted by Umbridge.

"Miss Granger," she simpered, "Might I have a word?"

"Certainly," I said. I leaned against the wall. She faltered. She had expected me to refuse, I was certain,

"I have been hearing rumors, Miss Granger," she said. "Would you mind substantiating them for me?"

Privately, I was surprised Umbridge knew such a big word. I kept my face impassive as I asked, "What rumors?"

"Perhaps we should continue this in my office," she suggested.

"Perhaps you should tell me what rumors, Professor. I have yet to hear any," I said, my tone polite but firm.

She stepped closer and leaned in so she could speak more softly. "The least offensive involves you and two unnamed male students in compromising situations."

I stiffened. "Perhaps we should continue this in your office," I said, my voice as soft as hers. "I would be interested to hear the others. Do you mind if I meet you there in about twenty minutes? I have a meeting with Professor McGonagall."

"Maybe I can help you with whatever you need to talk to Professor McGonagall about," Umbridge offered.

"I need to talk to her about some problems I've been having in her class," I said, blushing slightly.

Umbridge nodded. "Come to my office when you're done, Miss Granger. I will be there until curfew."

"Thank you, Professor," I replied. She turned to go to her office, and I went to my meeting with McGonagall.

I thought about the encounter as I walked, almost unable to believe it. Not long ago, Umbridge had been giving me heart attacks and been gleeful about it. Now she was telling me about hurtful rumors and offering to help me. I didn't know what to make of it.

Maybe she was trying to keep me isolated for some reason. But why?

I was so deep in thought I almost walked past McGonagall's office door. I knocked and heard her answer, "Enter."

I slipped inside and shut the door behind me. McGonagall gave me one of her small, rare smiles and asked, "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering about the Animagus transformation," I said. She blinked. Whatever she had been expecting, this was not it.

I quickly explained about the group I was teaching. When I finished, she looked thoughtful. "I thought those four had been doing better this year," she murmured, then looked sharply at me. "You want me to teach them how to become Animagi?"

I nodded. "Or, at the very least, point me towards some books that would let us learn on our own."

She frowned. "That is extremely dangerous. How often do you meet?"

"Once a week," I said. "I meet with each of them once a week, and then we all get together on Friday nights in one of the unused classrooms just off the Great Hall."

"Who else knows about this?" she asked.

"Snape and Dumbledore both know about the group," I replied. "Nobody knows about this particular part of it, though."

She pursed her lips as she thought. "Very well. I will meet you Friday after dinner this week. It goes without saying that no one can know."

"Of course," I said. "If anyone asks, this meeting was because I was having a few problems in your class and wanted to talk to you about them." She raised her eyebrows and I explained, "I ran into Umbridge. I actually have to meet with her in" - I checked the clock - "three minutes."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No," I said thoughtfully, "she was actually okay just now. She hasn't baited me since that first time. Anyway, I'll see you later."

"See you later, Hermione."

On my way to Umbridge's office, my mind turned to the rumors supposedly sweeping the school. I wondered if they actually existed; I had achieved some degree of anonymity.

I knocked on her office door. "Come in," she called. I could barely hide my shock and horror at the excessive pink and the ridiculous amount of kitten pictures and plates. "Ah, Miss Granger," she said. "Have a seat, won't you?" She smiled, and surprisingly, it wasn't a predatory smile, but a sympathetic one. "How was your meeting with Professor McGonagall? Did you get everything straightened out?"

"Yes, thank you," I replied.

"Would you like tea?" she offered.

I was momentarily taken aback. "No, thank you."

"Very well, then," she said. Her broad, flabby face grew serious. "I take it you have not heard these rumors before?"

"No, ma'am," I said quietly. "I would like to."

"Some of them are quite - hurtful," she said.

"I'd still rather know what's being said about me," I responded.

She sighed. "I suppose I would feel the same way. The rumor I told you about earlier - you and the two boys - has been circulating almost since the beginning of school. Another one, involving you and a teacher, has been going for two weeks."

"Which teacher?" I asked. Snape and I were careful not to show any affection when we were at school.

"Flitwick," she said. That caught me off guard.

"Flitwick?" I asked incredulously, and then began to laugh. "Where do people get these things," I murmured.

"There's another," she said softly.

"Another one? Oh, do tell," I said.

"You and Viktor Krum," she said.

All mirth left me. "What about that scumbag?" I asked.

"They're saying that you slept together after the Yule Ball last year, then he broke up with you and you claimed he raped you!" She gave her girly little laugh.

"Ah," I said uncomfortably. "There's actually a kernel of truth in that one, at least." Her laugh died. "Viktor Krum and I went to the Yule Ball together. He had given me a very pretty necklace that I, naturally, wore that night. What I didn't know was that that necklace had been cursed in such a way that it would bind my magic."

"That is an extremely Dark and extremely illegal spell," she said indignantly.

"Oh, I know," I replied grimly. "That night, he spelled himself invisible and followed me to my rooms. He tied me up, and...well..." I shrugged helplessly. "I'd been having some very serious medical problems, and Snape and I are both early risers, so he would watch to make sure I'd eaten enough to take my potions. He came looking for me when I didn't show up to breakfast. He found us. He took me to the hospital wing; I don't actually know where he took Krum. The next time I saw him was when the heads of the schools were debating releasing him from the magical contract and bringing in a sub."

"Why didn't the Wizengamot hear the case?" she asked me.

I shrugged. "The trial wasn't worth it. I'd come across as the jealous, slutty ex-girlfriend in the papers - who am I compared to the wonderful Seeker Viktor Krum? - my reputation would be ruined, and my private life would become very public. I just wanted him away from me - so we got him deported."

"I see," Umbridge said softly, in what I supposed was supposed to be an understanding tone.

"What was the point of telling me this, Professor?" I asked.

"I just felt that you should know what people are saying about you," she simpered.

"Thank you, Professor," I said, standing up. "I appreciate it."

"Of course, dear. And - if you ever want to talk - I am here,' she offered.

I nodded. "Thank you." I turned and left, wondering what to make of it. I would ask Luna about the rumors when I met her that night.

"I've heard them," she said when I asked. "Nobody really believes them, I think - it's more a matter of making themselves feel better."

At my expense, of course.