I'll be there for you through it all

Chapter 7

Mikey’s POV

Fluttering my eyes open I remembered what I had done a few hours earlier.

-Flashback-

I feel so guilty about everything that is happening, and I feel so worried about Gerard, he doesn’t deserve to have a loving band and family and friends like us lot. But we stick here for him anyway. I cannot believe he is back on drugs, and he is going to come visit us in Arizona even though he is stoned.

Going through to the bathroom I heard Frank follow me and I slid down the bathroom door with a razorblade in my hand. I am going to do it, I’m going to cut deeper than I ever have before, and I am going to enjoy it, it will make me happy and release all this pent up anger and sadness.

Scoring the blade against my wrist a few times I realised that the cuts were a lot deeper than I presumed and I don’t think I will keep consciousness for much longer.

Texting Bob knowing he was the only one on the bus that knew about my cutting I asked him to come help me, I sent the message but then I slipped into unconsciousness. Darkness, if this is what it is like to be dead then it will be pretty cool.

I heard the door open, but I cannot move anything and I cannot open my eyes. I tried speaking but my words won’t form and no sound will escape my lips. At that moment my eyes fluttered open but after a nano second I felt myself get weaker and fall back into the darkness.

-End of flashback-

I feel so weak right now, I have an aching in my wrist and my arm. Looking down I saw a needle in my arm and screamed, I hate needles, me and Gerard have a phobia of them.

Argh argh argh argh argh NEEDDLESSSS.

Bob ran through to the bunk area, Frank and Ray following closely behind.

I quickly covered my wrist and arm up so Ray and Frank didn’t see anything.

“you okay Mikes” Ray asked sympathetically
“yeah just a nightmare” I replied with a stunned look on my face as Gerard appeared at the door laughing.

My eyes must have been pretty wide at the sight and Bob screamed at everyone to leave, even Gerard.

Ray muttered that he will take Frank and Gerard to Starbucks.

“What’s up Mikey ”
“Needle…in…arm”
“oh shit sorry I forgot you were afraid of them, if you didn’t have the drip you would have died though Mikey, the doctor said I can take it out when you wake up”
“well take it out then”
“Okay”

Bob came over to my bunk, sat down and undid the tape holding the needle in my arm, he gently pulled and the needle slid out, my arm started to bleed so Bob got some cotton wool and a plaster and made sure it was all okay before moving to sit on Franks bunk which is opposite mine.

He started to cry, he has been crying a lot recently and I feel really bad because I know its mine and Gerard’s fault. Sometimes I just wish I wasn’t here and I think that without me everyone will be happier, but then I think how upset my mom was when we lost grandma so I stay for her.

I went over slowly and comforted Bob, he must have his own problems to contend with as well as mine and Gerard’s I really do feel for him.

After ten minutes he had stopped crying and fallen asleep in Frank’s bunk. I felt a lot stronger now and felt okay, so I decided to try and carry him to his own bunk, he had lost a lot of weight recently and was easy to carry, but as I lifted him I keeled over, Bob on top of me, and I spotted that his back had been ripped open by a loose nail in the bunk whilst he fell, he didn’t move from on top of me and he was face down laying on me, I felt my body get weaker and passed out, as Bob had done.

Maybe I wasn’t as strong as I liked to make out and all I could see is blackness like the other day when I passed out.

Luckily I awoke from my involuntary slumber and was in my bunk, Bob must have also awoken and brought me here.

Bob’s POV

I awoke laying on Mikey front first, and had a slight pain in my back, I must have scraped it after falling here, I hope Mikey is okay after having my fat body laying on him. Picking him up I placed him in his bunk and went out to have a fag, also seeing the others walking back from wherever they went. Gerard and Frank lit up a fag as Ray looked at me as if to say can I borrow one, so I threw him a fag and finished up, walking inside.
Out of the five us only Mikey doesn’t smoke, its weird really.

I sat on the couch watching a movie I am not to sure of what it is called, half way through it Mikey walked through looking terrible. He looked drained and upset. Sitting next to me he just stared at the TV, not saying a word, I don’t think he had the energy. After sitting for a further half an hour I fell into an uneasy slumber. This week had taken it out of me and tonight was the last show of the tour, the last ever Black parade show. I need all my energy to go into the show tonight and not screw up, keeping my head in playing is going to be hard after having a week off and having so much happen in it.

Waking up I opened my eyes to see Ray poking me gently to make me wake up. This is going to be a long night.