Her smile
Feeling
Chapter 3: Feeling
Wednesday 15th April 2009
“There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to the one you love.”
—Unknown
2 a.m.
I woke up with a gasp. I was shaking and I felt my heart thumping in my throat, in my head. I closed my eyes but the nightmare came back to haunt me. I opened my eyes and the shadows taunted me. I quickly switched the light on.
I started. Kisa was standing by my door, immobile. She jumped onto my bed. “Come here, Kisa.” I pulled her onto my lap and soothed myself by stroking her. She purred and I sighed.
It was fading away.
*
2.45 p.m.
The day went by incredibly fast, and soon it was just the two of us again, sitting on the green green grass in a park, watching kids have fun, laugh, play. Mothers worrying and fussing over them.
A boy tripped a small girl. Her knees grazed the harsh ground. She cried and her mother quickly picked her up, arms around her tight. “It's okay, honey. It's okay. Let me see your knees.”
*
2.50 p.m.
And then we talked...
“So, do you have any brothers or sisters,” I asked Charlotte.
“A little sister, her name's Melinda. It means 'sweet.' Latin origin.” She smiled. “Name origins and meanings fascinate me. She's five, by the way. My name is of French origin, means 'little and womanly.'
“What's Billie short for?”
“Ugh... Wilhelmina. See why I prefer Billie?” I said, raising an eyebrow at the end of my sentence.
“Quite old fashioned... Still, it's a pretty name.”
I snorted.
“Well I love your name.” Her hand reached for mine, slowly, tentatively.
To show her it was fine with me, I grasped her hand, lacing my fingers through hers. I smiled, tears of joy blurring my sight of Charlotte. Inside my shoes, my toes curled.
Charlotte moved closer to me, sat against the tree.
I turned my head to the right, to look at her. “What is it about you,” I whispered, “that makes me feel like this?”
“Like what?”
“Like... Like Xerces Blue butterflies are flitting in my stomach, up towards my throat.”
“Xerces Blue butterflies?”
“I love butterflies. And the Xerces Blue butterflies are extinct. But they're beautiful: blue wings with white spots. The blue is... Kind of like an ultraviolet light, I guess. Absolutely entrancing.”
“You're entrancing... You with your sapphire-blue eyes.”
*
7 p.m.
“Mom, could we watch a movie?” I asked, as I was loading the dishwasher.
“Is your—?”
“Yes, Mom, my homework is done.”
She raised an eyebrow. “No need to be rude.”
“I wasn't being rude!” I paused. “I was simply anticipating your question.”
“Which movie?”
“I don't know. Oh! Wait, what about that movie you bought the other day? I can't remember the name, but I know it's a comedy-slash-romance movie.”
She nodded and I quickly finished the dishes. I made a bowl of microwave popcorn and we settled on the couch in the dark, no lights on and the blinds closed. I snuggled up to my mom and she put an arm around me.
I sighed. Life was good.
Wednesday 15th April 2009
“There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to the one you love.”
—Unknown
2 a.m.
I woke up with a gasp. I was shaking and I felt my heart thumping in my throat, in my head. I closed my eyes but the nightmare came back to haunt me. I opened my eyes and the shadows taunted me. I quickly switched the light on.
I started. Kisa was standing by my door, immobile. She jumped onto my bed. “Come here, Kisa.” I pulled her onto my lap and soothed myself by stroking her. She purred and I sighed.
It was fading away.
*
2.45 p.m.
The day went by incredibly fast, and soon it was just the two of us again, sitting on the green green grass in a park, watching kids have fun, laugh, play. Mothers worrying and fussing over them.
A boy tripped a small girl. Her knees grazed the harsh ground. She cried and her mother quickly picked her up, arms around her tight. “It's okay, honey. It's okay. Let me see your knees.”
*
2.50 p.m.
And then we talked...
“So, do you have any brothers or sisters,” I asked Charlotte.
“A little sister, her name's Melinda. It means 'sweet.' Latin origin.” She smiled. “Name origins and meanings fascinate me. She's five, by the way. My name is of French origin, means 'little and womanly.'
“What's Billie short for?”
“Ugh... Wilhelmina. See why I prefer Billie?” I said, raising an eyebrow at the end of my sentence.
“Quite old fashioned... Still, it's a pretty name.”
I snorted.
“Well I love your name.” Her hand reached for mine, slowly, tentatively.
To show her it was fine with me, I grasped her hand, lacing my fingers through hers. I smiled, tears of joy blurring my sight of Charlotte. Inside my shoes, my toes curled.
Charlotte moved closer to me, sat against the tree.
I turned my head to the right, to look at her. “What is it about you,” I whispered, “that makes me feel like this?”
“Like what?”
“Like... Like Xerces Blue butterflies are flitting in my stomach, up towards my throat.”
“Xerces Blue butterflies?”
“I love butterflies. And the Xerces Blue butterflies are extinct. But they're beautiful: blue wings with white spots. The blue is... Kind of like an ultraviolet light, I guess. Absolutely entrancing.”
“You're entrancing... You with your sapphire-blue eyes.”
*
7 p.m.
“Mom, could we watch a movie?” I asked, as I was loading the dishwasher.
“Is your—?”
“Yes, Mom, my homework is done.”
She raised an eyebrow. “No need to be rude.”
“I wasn't being rude!” I paused. “I was simply anticipating your question.”
“Which movie?”
“I don't know. Oh! Wait, what about that movie you bought the other day? I can't remember the name, but I know it's a comedy-slash-romance movie.”
She nodded and I quickly finished the dishes. I made a bowl of microwave popcorn and we settled on the couch in the dark, no lights on and the blinds closed. I snuggled up to my mom and she put an arm around me.
I sighed. Life was good.