Three Punks And Their Hormones

"July?"
"Here!"
"Marilyn?"
"Present!"
"Mike?"
"Yep.."
"Tre?"
"What did I do?!!"
"Nothing Tre, this is the abstention list.."
"Oh right.."
"Billie?"

No response.

"Billie?" the teacher repeated while he was looking around the classroom searching for someone who might raised their hand.
"Beej! Wake up man!" A familiar voice whispered in my ear.
"Huh?"
"Answer!"
"Oh.. right.. here.." I said not too enthusiastic. But before I knew what was going on I was gazing in to nothing again.

Somewhere in the background I heard two guys whispering at each other.. I didn't paid attention to it though..
Everything around me was wasted in a daze..
I've stayed over at Mike's last night because Brad became violent..

"Can he hear us?" Whispered Tre exited.
"I'm not sure.." Replied Mike staring sceptically at Billie dazing away.
"Oh this is so much fun! Now we can gossip about EVERYTHING!"
Mike froze and stared at Tre with his eyebrows knit up.
"Why were you born?" He asked after a while.
"Well because.. I was.. Eh.." Tried Tre, but he failed dramatically.
"Never mind.." Grinned Mike as he turned a page of his text book.
"But.. Oh! Mike!" Squealed Tre upset like a damsel in distress. "You fucker!"

"Is there something wrong Franklin?" Asked the teacher raising his big hairy eyebrows. They always seemed to remind them of smaller broomsticks..
Tre glared daggers at him..
"The name is NOT FRANKLIN! It's Tre! Tre Cool!" He almost screamed which caused Billie to snap out of his daydream.
"Huh who's cool?" I asked half asleep.
"Good morning Mr. Armstrong." Said the teacher sarcastically. "I'm thrilled to know how interesting I actually am.."
"Shut up." I growled half above a whisper. "I had a rough night.."
"Oh.. Well that's still not an excuse for sleeping in my classroom right?"
"Left."
"What?" He said getting angrier.
"Nothing." I said trying not to laugh.
"This is history class Mr. Armstrong, not a stand up comedy show for untalented shit heads like you!"
"Ooh.. He couldn't better have said that.." Whispered Mike at Tre who nodded in silence.

Well they were right.. then something suddenly snapped..
No one ever speaks to Billie Joe fucking Armstrong like that..

"Oh so I'm an untalented shit head.. " I growled frustrated. I stood up and made my chair tip over behind me. I eyed the teacher who was sitting behind his desk. And if I must say, he looked pretty bewildered of me standing up to him..
"Well am I or what?!" I demanded anger rising inside of me within the minute.
"Yes you are." Said the teacher squinting his eyes at me.
"If I'm so untalented, then why am I wasting my time here?!"
"Mr. Armstr-" He started standing up.
"Don't 'Mr. Armstrong' me." I said pointing my index finger at him. "I think I am wasting my time here," I said proudly pointing my thumb at my chest. "and do you know what? So are my friends! We're leaving, goodbye." I ranted as I picked up my bag and pulled Mike and Tre off their seats. I ignored the yelling and the insults and I walked out of the classroom.

When we got outside the school I finally got back to my senses.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Said Mike throwing his hands at me.
"Rescuing you from history class?!" I said still a little pissed. "You can better thank me.."
"Why should we thank you??" He said getting pissed. "We could've gotten detention! Or worse!"
"So what, we're going to San Francisco, we don't need school anyway!"
Mike sighed and stared at the grass. He knew I was right,
In the meantime we were walking slowly to my old battered baby blue mustang..
"Well, I think you were awesome." Stated Tre. "No one ever stood up to that fossil."
"Well thank you Tre." I said with a crooked grin.
"Yes.. THE WHOLE WORLD AWAITS US JULIET!"
Tre suddenly spread his arms and smacked Mike right on the nose with his arm.
"Oh.. oops." Said Tre forming a blush on his cheeks with a smile of innocence.
"Ugh you.. you.. washing machine!" Said Mike touching his nose carefully. It was bleeding..
"Washing machine?" Tre and I asked curious in unison.
"I couldn't think of anything other insulting word.." He growled.
"It's not that insulting.." Said Tre shrugging it off.
"Yes it is!" Said Mike.
"No it-"
"Yes it is! Just pretend it is okay.. Jeez.." Said Mike frustrated glaring at him while he dabbed his nose with his sleeve.

I smirked.

"Where the fuck are you laughing about?!" Said Mike now even more frustrated.
"Oh nothing little washing-glove.." I said giving him an angels face.
"Washing-glove?! Are you fucking insulting me?!"
"Uh.. no?" I said with fake innocence.
"Watch it Beej cause I can do your laundry.."

"Mike?" Asked Tre after a few seconds of silence.
"Yes?!"
"What did you smoke? Cause I want it too.. It sounds sexy.."
Mike didn't said anything his lips smacked tightly against each other and then he just became red.. very, very red which turned in to purple.. And after that blue.. And then..
"TRE!! YOU FUCKING BRAINLESS PIECE OF MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed as little droplets of blood from his nose sprayed around like a shower.
Tre paled again and he hid himself behind me.

"Mike calm down, Tre can't help the way he's born." I said easing him up a bit. "Don't work your aggression on him, you know he's not worth it.."
"No I'm not worth it!" Squealed Tre hiding behind my back.
"Why are we even friends with him! He's stupid!" Whined Mike overdramatic.
"I know.. but common, Mike.. If you're angry at someone be angry at me for this, I mean, It's Tre how could you expect he wouldn't do something stupid within the five minutes. He doesn't even know the definition of two plus two yet.."
"Who..ho!" Said Tre objecting as he appeared from behind me.
"Merry Christmas Tre." I said indifferently throwing my bag in the trunk.
"Huh?"
"Nothing.." I replied with a smirk.
"But it's.. I can't help it! It's just my.. I don't-"
"Shut up!" Yelled Mike and Tre quickly hid in the car.
Mike smirked softly attempting to stop his bleeding nose. It seemed he wasn't that angry anymore. Tre came out of his hiding place and he sighed desperately staring at us from the backseat.
"What is it Tre?" I asked.
"I can't remember what I was saying.."

I never liked it when my two best friends are having fights, it's just annoying.. So I always try to solve everything and it usually works..

"Well what are we going to do now?" Asked Mike.
"Well we can't go back in to that classroom.." I said shrugging.
"Why not?" Asked Tre.
"Tre, did you even noticed we're not there anymore?"
"Oh.. yeah.." Said Tre thinking it over.
"Well common let's get inside the car." Said Mike as his bleeding nose finally stopped bleeding.
"Yeah. Let's go." I said getting behind the steering wheel and starting the engine.

***

"Well I think I've got an excellent idea.." Said Tre after a while of saying nothing and driving around. "Let's get wasted."
I didn't reply.

"Guys!" Whined Tre after a few seconds when we didn't replied to it.
"Wow.." I said widening my eyes in the rear view mirror.
"What?!" Said Tre curious staring out of the window.
"I think this is the first time you've actually got a good idea.."
"No it isn't!" Protested Tre staring at me through the mirror.
"It isn't?" Questioned Mike.
"No!" Yelled Tre.
"Then why didn't I heard any of your greater ideas before?" I asked.
"Because you never listen to me when I say something awesome!"
"I don't?" I said bewildered.
"No!!"
"Now why am I never listening to you.." I said pretending to be dead serious.
Mike smirked and I started to laugh.

"Guys!! You're being mean!!" Said Tre pouting at us.
"Haha we were just fucking ya." Said Mike with a smirk.
No you weren't.." Said Tre raising his eyebrows.
"Right." I said with a sick expression on my face as I kept looking at the road now.
"Well drinking sounds good to me." Said Mike with a shrug. "What can we do anyways?"
"Let's do it!" Said Tre.
"Do exactly what Tre..?" I asked for safe insurance.
"Fucking me of course!" Said Tre with a laugh.
And Mike and me burst out in to laughter as well.

So we decided to go to Murphy's to get really wasted, and when we were wasted enough we started dragging ourselves through the center of our hometown.

Today is Wednesday, which is pretty lame because the day after tomorrow we're leaving to San Francisco.. I've got everything packed and some of my stuff is already brought over.
Mike and Tre are packing too, some of their stuff that they wanted to take with them is also brought over to my mansion. I can hardly recall it a house.. I've seen pictures of it.. It even has a swimming pool in the backyard!

"Biiiiiiiiilliiiiiiieeee" Sung Tre as he hiccuped. "What are those palm trees doing there??"
"What palm trees?!" Said Mike frowning in confusing.
"Thooooossseeee!!" Said Tre pointing somewhere.
I squinted my eyes at the place he was pointing at, but the only thing I saw were a few stores and the hot air vibrating in the air like the roads were boiling..
"I hate this weather." Complained Mike as he slid down a wall and sat in the shadow.
"It's too hot to be inside, and it's fucking killing you when you're outside!" I said sitting besides him.
Tre just.. well, he let himself drop on the pavement..
"Ow!" He said with a weird maniacal laugh.
I smirked, I wasn't drunk, I had a lot of beer, but I just couldn't get drunk..
I think it's basically the stress working on my nerves..

"Hiii Trey-Trey!" Cooed a sugar coated voice.
We looked up from where it came from, and right then and there stood no one better than Taylor.. With her blond hair tight up in an ever tighter ponytail and big Prada sunglasses, surrounded with rhinestones around the glasses and the legs of the monstrous thing.. Her shoes were cute little white sandals with white high heels.
The skirt was hot pink and ended just over her butt, and her top was white and extremely tight around her breast making them expose even more to the sight. She was chewing on bubble gum and her pink lip-glossed lips moved in a rhythm that could get you hypnotized..

I felt like puking..

"Do I know you?" Said Mike staring at her with disgust.
"Oh don't be so ridiculous!" She squealed getting her sunglasses off and winking at him.
"Ohh heeeyyy!!" Said Tre as if he suddenly recognized her. He was attempting to get up. "My sugar cake!" He cooed.
I stared at Tre in shock, Mike seemed to do the same. This couldn't be fucking serious..
Tre got up from the pavement and Taylor smiled a toothy perfect white grin at him. Knowing that she had him back in her pocket..
"Hi sweetie-pie!" Said Taylor exited as she opened her arms for him to receive his hug.
Tre stumbled towards her, but he suddenly seemed to turn a little paler and he stood still before her staring with his big eyes at her in apology.
"Tre?" She asked. "What's-"

But before Taylor could finish her sentence Tre bent over a little, and a green yellowish wave emerged from out of his throat like a fountain.. It splat against everything he could reach. Including.. Taylor..
She screamed as the wave splat against her perfectly white shirt and at the pavement below her.

When Tre was done she screamed like a scream queen and walked away on her high heels, almost slipping in his marvelous throw up. Tre wiped his mouth with his sleeve.
"Well that sure feels a lot better." He said suddenly much more happier. And much more sober than before.
"Now where did she go?"