Three Punks And Their Hormones

*FLASH!*
"Oh look at that!" Said Tre enthusiastic.
*FLASH*
"Tre, we're not even out of Rodeo yet." Grumbled Mike as he wiped the sleep out of his eyes. "Stop with the goddamn motherfucking camera."
"You're just a big ol' sourpuss, a big ol' sourpuss that you are!" Said Tre with a weird accent.
It was said and done within a second, Mike pulled the camera out of Tre's hands and threw it somewhere in the back of the car, unfortunately it landed in my lap. Right on my...
"Motherfucking bitch!!" I yelled.
"Oh sorry." Said Mike hiding a grin.
Tre roared with laughter and almost fell out of his seat.
I glared at the both of them, why did I ever take them with me? No even better, why did I ever befriend them?

"Will you please shut up!" Yelled Brad from the drivers seat. It was a small van we were sitting in and Mike and Tre sat before me in the middle seat, I wanted some time to be alone so I seated myself in the back.
I closed my eyes and emptied my head, I wasn't sure how things would turn out, I doubted if I could be ever happy with someone that I hadn't even met yet.
I let my head fall down on the soft head support in the car.

Why did I ever get on with this...

I'm tired, but really afraid of falling asleep and waking up somewhere I don't recognize the surroundings of.
That constant fear has been bugging me all morning.
Mike was sound asleep and Tre stopped being annoying for once...
Brad had his mouth shut and my mother softly whistled a faint song that I could hardly hear in the back of the van.
I squinted my eyes to see if I could read the build-in clock that was stationed above the radio.
It was too unreadable and blurry to read.
Great.
I watched outside the window and luckily we passed a billboard which had the time on top of it blinking in big orange LED lights.

8:46 AM

I groaned and let my head fall back in to its place on the head support.
It sure was gonna be a long ride to San Francisco...

***

"BILLIIIIIIEEEEE WE'RE HEEEEEEEEERRREEEE!!" Yelled Tre loudly in my ear.
I really hadn't been sleeping now did I?
I started panicking about where I was, until I stared out of the right window and saw a HUGE house creeping out from behind a few trees..
"You gotta be kidding..." I said as I looked at the place.
"Nope it's ours man." Said Mike with a smile. "It's even bigger then I imagined it to be!"
"Damn the mother of Jesus..." I said as I got out of the car to make sure I wasn't still sleeping.
"Billie Joe! I won't tolerate ANY of that language around me!" Snapped my mother at me.
I didn't took any notice, I didn't react to anything the past following minutes and I wasn't planning to reply to her either. It was huge.. monstrous.. Damn!

"WOW! Lookie, lookie, lookie!!" Screamed Tre running around the van like a wildebeest.
"Billie! Keep that nut with you!" Shouted Brad.
"I'm a nut! BANG! BANG! I'm a nut! BANG! BANG! My liiiiiiiife don't ever get in a rut, whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop!!!" Yelled Tre in Brad's face making obscene movements with his hips during the whole 'bang-thing'. Brad jumped backwards so Tre couldn't, well.. bang him.
Tre continued singing and running around Brad, and it was actually pretty funny since Brad wasn't allowed to beat up someone else's kid.

"Come on guys." I said. "Let's get inside. Brad? Keys?"
Brad stared confused at Tre's performance and didn't know else to react than throw me the keys, jump in the van and drive away as fast a possible.
"Whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop!" Yelled Tre jumping up and down pretending to be a monkey.
"Tre, you can stop it now he's gone." Said Mike with a smirk.
Tre turned around with the most evil glint of mischief hidden behind his features.
"Whoooooooooooooooo-" Started Tre, but when Mike smacked him in the face it made him stop abruptly.
"Where did you do that for!" Said Tre offended.
"For being a goddamn irritating ambulance." Said Mike sticking his hands in his front pockets.
"Are you guys done?" I said quirking up an eyebrow.
Mike shrugged and Tre nodded vigorously.
I sighed and walked up to the house.

Suddenly someone ran out of the house and caught us off guard.
It was a man in a waiter costume with graying short hair.

"Mr Armstrong?" He said with a British accent as he was looking me up and down.
"Eh, yes?" I said not entirely sure of it myself.
"Oh great!" He said shaking my hand with enthusiasm. "I'm your butler Archibald William Austin, You can just.. call me Austin." He said while he smiled uneasy.
"Billie needs to get married." Said Tre suddenly out of the blue.
"Yes.. I know." Said Austin frowning his eyebrows.
"Don't rub it in Tre." I grumbled looking the other way.
"Now we can steal all the chicks away from him, because he'll be chained to the heavy black doom weight of marriàààààgeee.." He said dramatically. "And we can still get laid!" He added with a huge grin.
"Tre! I said don't rub it in!" I yelled at him feeling a bit scared when he threatened me with the marriage part.
"Well, did you see me rubbing?" He asked wiggling his eyebrows.
I slapped myself on the forehead, sometimes...

"Eh, yes." Said Austin not really sure of what he should think of it all.
"Will the gentlemen be so kind to follow me?"
"Wait, wait.. This is really mine now?" I asked astonished.
"Well you are Mr. Armstrong, so yes sir."
"Jesus." I said glancing at the huge front door.
"Follow me please." Said Austin.
"Wait what about the stuff?" Asked Mike pointing his thumb at the truck whom currently was parking on the parking lot.
"Will be taken care off." Said Austin with a small reassuring smile.
Mike shrugged and we followed Austin inside.
We entered a huge hallway with two arched staircases that seemed to connect a small platform upstairs in the middle. Downstairs in between of the two staircases was a white double door with silvery shimmering door handles.
"Kick ass! Yeah!" Screamed Tre pumping his fist high in the air.
"I made some tea, or would the gentlemen perhaps prefer coffee?" Austin asked.
"Tea is fine Austin." I said. "Thanks."
"Follow me please." Said Austin, and we followed him through a few hallways.
The house seemed even bigger than it seemed on the outside.
It was monstrous..

"I'm sorry but I didn't catch your names yet." Said Austin.
They were sitting in the dining room with their teas. "Of course I know Mr. Armstrong's name, but Mr. Brad and your mother haven't informed me of any guests staying over."
"They're not guests." I said quirking up my eyebrows in surprise.
"Not?" Said Austin slightly disappointed as he glanced at Tre.
"No they're going to live with me." I said bluntly.
If I would be here all by myself it would be hell. Being in a house that requires a map isn't what I think of a fun-day.
"Of course, sir."
"What's up?" I asked squinting my eyes at him.
"Well, eh nothing sir." Austin said.
"Tell me." I demanded crossing my legs under the table and crossing my arms at the back of my head.
"I haven't prepared any bedrooms for Mr- eh, I still haven't caught your names sirs."
"Tre Cool, at your service." Said Tre with a small gesture of his hand.
"Mike Dirnt." Said Mike shortly.
"Well the bedrooms for Mr. Dirnt and Mr. eh, Cool.." Said Austin glancing quickly at Tre again.

"Well I do have maids right?" I said with a huge grin sitting up straight.
"Of course." Said Austin. "I will send them right to it and make sure they have nice rooms."
"That'll be perfect Austin, thanks." I said and Austin disappeared through a door.
"Isn't this neat or what?!" Yelled Tre. "Try snapping your fingers!"
"What?" I said confused.
"In movies maids appear out of nowhere when the master snaps it's fingers!"
"Tre don't be such an idiot, they're movies not the real thing.."
"Well how do you know?!" Said Tre offended. "Come on Billie snap your fingers! Pleaaaaaaaasseeee?"
I rolled my eyes.
"Fine!" I said and I snapped my fingers.

Nothing happened.

"See?" I said. "Nothing."
"You're doing it wrong." Said Tre.
"What? How can you possibly snap your fingers wrong?" Said Mike.
"It has to be more claaaaaaassyyyyy!" Sung Tre with an opera voice and he quickly snapped his fingers twice.
Suddenly a door opened and a maid walked in with a small trey.

"Gentlemen." She said doing a small curtsy. I gave her a nod and Tre who was standing on his chair, seemed highly full of himself putting his hands on his sides like he was the statue of liberty itself, or perhaps Peter Pan..
"Oh brother." Mumbled Mike rolling his eyes.
"I have a letter for Mr. Armstrong." Said the maid ignoring the other two, and staring directly at me.
"OK." I said sitting a bit straighter in the chair.
She placed the letter on the table before me and left the room.
"Tinkerbell where are you little maiden fairy! I've got the magic back!" Yelled Tre sticking his hands out in front of him, pretending he was going to fly.

Peter Pan, so it seems..

"Tre shut up!" Growled Mike. "What does it say Beej?"
"Not much, It only says, To Mr. Billie Joe Armstrong and the back says From Vivian.."
"I meant the letter.."
"I'm not superman." I grinned.
"I am!" Said Tre jumping up and down the chair.
"I thought you were Peter Pan." Said Mike pretending to be confused.
"Too!" Said Tre. "I'm Super Pan!" He said with a huge grin.
"And I'm Billie Joe goddamn fucking Armstrong and I want you to shut up." I said pointing a finger at Tre with a laugh. "Now I don't know who this Vivian is, but I think I'll be meeting her very soon.."
"Her name sounds like she's a high class upper bitch." Said Mike with a frown.
"I know, I just hope she isn't." I peeped up as I stared at the envelope in my hands.

Okay Billie, don't be such a scaredypants it's just a letter..