Because These Words Were Meant For You

“Autumn, why can’t you stay with us?” Sarah asked, patting my thigh as she turned the TV lower, giving Johnny a look as he reached for the controller.
“Because I’m a burden.” I answered, shaking my head and smiling at her lovingly. “I love you girls so much, but you barely have enough room of the people that are suppose to live here. You really don’t have room from me, and I can’t sleep on the couch. I’m sorry. And I’m about to have a baby. I need more space.”
“I don’t understand why you have to go back to living with him,” Raychel grumbled, dropping on the couch next to me, her face screwed up in disgust. “I mean, it’s Dillon! You know, the jackass. I don’t get why you have to go back to him.”
“I’m not going back to him, per say,” I was trying to think of a way to explain this without causing a fight; but it was hard. “I’m going back to our place. I need the space, I have to have space. And you already have Aron and you, Johnny and Sarah, and Mari and Matt here. You’ve used all your rooms up. I can’t sleep on the couch, though I appreciate you guys giving me the space for the last few days, I just can’t. My back is about to break and I’m about to pop. And I don’t have the money to get my own place right now, so it’s back to the one I used to have with him.”
“I just don’t like it,” Sarah mumbled, shaking her head as she dropped her legs into Johnny’s lap. “It’s just, you’re gonna get hurt again. And I don’t want that. I swear to God Guin, if he hurts you again he’s going to get it. And I mean; get it. I’ll take pleasure and twisting him until he can’t scream anymore.”
“I’m not sure if I should be worried about him, or about you and why you’re imaging this.” I giggled loudly, watching as a smile lit up on her face. “It’s a little scary babe.”
“Aye, that’s not the point,” She waved her hand towards me, shrugging her shoulders like it meant nothing. “You know what I mean though. It’s a little, ugh.”
“Yeah, believe me I know. I feel the same way. But there’s really not much I can do and I just, I want to be set before he comes.” Rubbing my stomach, I smiled as my baby boy kicked at my hand. “I love you guys and I know you’re looking out for me, and I am too. And I wouldn’t do this unless I thought I really had to. But I just don’t see a better way and I really need the stability of his place right now.”
“I know your right, I just don’t like it.” Sarah stared over at me, her eyes completely void as George laid kisses down her neck. “You never stop, damn you horny bastard.”
“I can’t help it!” He grinned brightly as he kissed her roughly, his hands lacing around her waist as he pulled her body into his lap.
“I seriously think he’s the horniest,” I said, giggling loudly as I looked over at Raychel, only to realize she wasn’t there anymore.
Well, that’s nice!
But it’s probably good, now that Raychel’s disappeared and Sarah’s occupied, I can probably get out of here quickly and quietly. Which was absolutely for the better.
I hate goodbyes.
I gathered up my bag and hoodie, making sure to wrap myself up in it as I descended the stairs. I shut the apartment door so softly I doubt either of them had a clue. I was armed with a backpack full of my stuff, an mp3 player, complete with small blue earphones, and my cell phone. And right now, that’s all I honestly needed.
The walk back to Dillon’s apartment was filled with heavy guitar riffs, shrill drum beats, large quantities of deep bass lines, and loud, contemplating voices.
But it was peaceful all the same.
Even though that seemed like an oxymoron, it was nice.
Until I reached the apartment and had to knock on the door. That wasn’t so nice.
I was nervous as all fuck for some reason, and I couldn’t honestly say why. I just was. It scared me shitless thinking about how I had to live with him after everything he did and everything that had gone on between us. It was honest to God ready to run away screaming and crying and fighting back insanity, but I knew I had to do this.
For the sake of my baby boy, I had to have a place to stay.
“Autumn,” He said quickly, his tall, long body filling up the door frame he flung open the heavy wooden door. “I’m glad you came.”
“Where else am I going to go?” I asked as I pressed my hand into his chest, gently shoving his body in through the door so I could waddle my way in.
“Lots of places,” He mumbled, shutting the door as he followed behind me into the living room. “But you chose to come with me. You don’t know how much that mea—“
“Okay, Dillon,” I threw my bag on the floor, staring up at him as I wound my fingers across my stomach. “I don’t feel good. And I have a headache. I don’t want to get into this right now. Goodnight.”
With that I made my way into the bedroom and shut the door, hearing him mumble something along the lines of “Motherfucker”. Stripping down to my panties and a tank top, I crawled into bed and got comfortable.
Wow, I guess I really do have a backbone.
Damn, didn’t think I had it in me.