If I Could Take It Back

The assembly hall of the school was packed with students who were taking the opportunity to chat and call across the room to one another. It was always a large challenge to quieten all of the pupils down, as the stage when the hall was filling up was always used for a catch-up for those with friends in different grades to their own.

Isabella and Darcy were no exceptions, except they were taking amongst themselves.

"What do you think all this is about, then?" Darcy asked her friend, and Isabella shrugged.

"How am I supposed to know, Darce?" she asked. "Usually it’s either we’re all in some serious trouble, or we’ve got a new member of staff."

Their principal then walked onto the stage at the front of the hall, as usual looking rather bewildered when he saw the sea of chattering faces in front of him. Isabella always had a giggle at the man’s expense – it was as though he frequently lost his memory and found himself standing in a room of people he had never seen before. However, he was a nice guy, and had often let Isabella off with lighter punishments than she deserved when he saw that she was truly sorry.

"Everyone," he said, his voice barely audible over the talking. "Everyone!" he shouted, causing the microphone to squeak in protest with feedback. Isabella didn’t know if it was him shouting or the microphone squealing which grabbed everyone’s attention, but whichever would do, because everyone fell silent.

To her left and several rows in front of Isabella, Elliot was looking at the stage, remembering what she had said that last time she had been the one in front of the microphone.

"Thank you," their principal began. "Now, I suppose you’re all wondering what you’re doing here, as it’s not normal assembly day. However, we decided that it may be beneficial to you to listen to what a past pupil of our school has to say. She left school three years ago now and has asked to speak t you all. Please give Chloe a warm welcome."

Everyone clapped uncertainly, wondering what they were going to get lectured on this time. Isabella hoped it wouldn’t be drugs, because she could just see everyone who belonged in her English class turning to look at her.

Alexander hoped it would be nothing to do with domestic violence, because he didn’t think he could quite deal with that after all of those haunting memories.

Elliot hoped that it wouldn’t be about cheating and dishonesty, because her face still burned with shame when she thought about her actions, though she was beginning to forgive herself now that she had come clean and apologised to the relevant people.

Isabella knew that everyone in the room was thinking the same thing, however: Please, God, don’t let it be a sex talk.

Isabella sniggered. No one liked to be lectured on safe sex and pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections with boyfriends, girlfriends and teachers in the room.

Chloe, as she walked onto the stage hoping she looked more confident than she felt, remembered her school days vividly and knew that this thought would be on everyone’s minds.

"Don’t worry," were her first words into the microphone. "It’s definitely not a sex talk."

There was a mixture of sighs of relief and a spatter of laughter across the room, and Chloe knew she had managed to break the ice. This was usually a hard thing to do in a room full of teenagers.

"Well, I’ll go on and tell you why I’m here, then," Chloe took a deep breath. "I understand that this is the beginning of the school year, so I guess you’re all in one of two groups. Some of you are refreshed and want to do really well and start the new year as you mean to go on – trying your hardest and putting all your effort into your work. But, I bet that there’s going to be a large number of you who are stuck where I always was – wishing that it was still the summer and you still had endless days of freedom to look forward to. Am I right?"

There was a murmur or agreement throughout the hall.

"I was wondering how I was going to address this problem," Chloe sad, thinking back to all of the half-finished speeches and rolled up paper in her waste paper bin at home. "But luckily I was given a good bit of inspiration as I drove in. I’d been having a bad time of it getting here, what with bad traffic and the sort, and, of course, when I arrived there were no parking spots left, so I had to drive all the way around the back and park far away from the entrance. However, I’m glad for that now, because that was when I spotted your wall outside."

The crowd of pupils all shifted and looked at one another, and everyone who had added a regret looked around nervously, hoping they weren’t getting into trouble. The wall had become quite an area of conversation among pupils and teachers alike in the last few days.

"I thought it was beautiful," Chloe continued, and the crowd visibly relaxed. "I think it’s a fantastic idea, to be able to anonymously relieve yourself of regrets like that. And I realised that this was what my speech to you guys was going to revolve around – a regret of my own.

"When I was at this school, and some of you seniors may remember, as you would have been in the school briefly at the same time as me – I was one of what would be called the popular girls. We were into it all, bys, parties, anything but school. And that’s my regret. I didn’t try hard enough at school.

"Doesn’t seem like much, really, does it? But let me tell you guys, it is. Schooling is more important than you could ever know. And. Because it’s only a few years ago that I was at school myself, I know the common reasons why some of you will underachieve. Let’s take a look at some of them, shall we?"

People exchanged glances, wondering what the big deal was at the moment. Graduation was years away for some of them, and for the seniors, heck, it was only September! Everyone then had the uneasy feeling that Chloe had read their minds, however.

"The first one, of course, it the fact that graduation can feel like it’s miles away. Let me tell you, though, that day creeps up on you quicker than you can ever imagine, especially for those of you in your final year. It may seem far away now, but if your grades slip and you get behind, it’ll come round quicker than you can cope with. If you put the hard work in now, you’ll not have to worry when the time comes, and you can relax and enjoy knowing that you’re going to have a good future in a decent college.

"Another reason is you simply can’t be bothered, and I’m going to be harsh here, because this was partially why I didn’t do as well as I could have. It’s that, you simply can’t be bothered. Your best friend’s party or your date is more important, so that assignment can surely wait for tomorrow. Wrong, it can’t! You need to put the effort in when it counts, and, if all of you did this, you wouldn’t be missing anything, would you? Yes, I know that sounds nerdy, but I would rather have been a nerd than ended up underachieving like I did. Which brings me onto my third of four points.

"You’re worried you’ll be labelled as a nerd. Come on, people. Who cares what others think about you? What would you rather – be a nerd and then have the job of your dreams, or be a cool kid and work in McDonald’s slapping burgers for the rest of your life? Because I’ve been there, guys, and you don’t feel cool then.

"Finally, and more seriously, there may be problems at home. But never forget that there are people at school who can help you, and it’s up to you to free yourself from your problems and work towards a future where these problems can’t hurt you. It’s in your grasp, and you’re the only one who can do it.

"It’s only a quick speech, because I know that this probably isn’t what you want to hear about. But I really hope that you take something away from it." Chloe sighed and looked out at the sea of opportunity in front of her. "All of you could be something wonderful if you just put your mind to it. It doesn’t matter if you want to be a doctor, or a police officer, or a vet, or even if you just want to start your own humble business and work your way up to something amazing. It doesn’t matter if you want to be an author, or a singer, or an actor. All of you can reach your dreams if you just try now. Now is the doorstep of the rest of your life, especially you seniors, and as cliché as that sounds, it’s true. I’m just begging you to try as hard as you can, and do everything to the best of your ability, and receive all of the benefits that you deserve.

"I wanted to be a nurse for several years, but unfortunately, I didn’t achieve the grades to reach my dream. I’m a waitress now. Is that what you want? I mean, it’s a fine job for a stop-gap to pay for college or to bring in some money for fun with your mates, but that’s all it is for you. You’re lucky. For me, it’s a career. So when I’m retiring will I still be at that place?

"And where will you be when you retire? Well, I hope you try hard and get the grades, and enjoy your retirement spending all your saved money from your brilliant and successful careers, because you all have the potential! You’re the future, guys, of not only your families, but of your entire generation, and of the country.

"So, could you at least think about what I’ve said? I’m not expecting miracles, I just want to see less people turn out like I did, disappointing themselves, their schools, and their families. If you try your hardest, you can’t disappoint anyone."

Chloe sighed, and then smiled at the faces in front of her, which were now tuned into the clear emotion in her voice.

"And I hope your principal doesn’t mind, but I left my own little message on the wall. You should keep it up – it’s a brilliant idea, and very artistic. Good work, whoever started it!"

Alexander blushed, but luckily nobody saw.

The hall filed out in silence once Chloe had left the stage. She walked back out to her car after the usual polite farewells to her old teachers, still feeling a little emotional. She didn’t know why she had filled up and had a lump in her throat, but she guessed it was all those years of disappointment. She would never forget how she felt when she realised her grades didn’t match her career choice. She had felt sick, embarrassed, disappointed, and disgusted with herself. Breaking the news to her mother and father that she wouldn’t be going to college had been the hardest thing she had ever had to do.

It had been a terrible case of when parents weren’t angry, just deeply disappointed. That, in Chloe’s eyes, was worse.

She walked out to her car slowly, her light brown hair falling across her troubled eyes. She was frowning as she remembered, but she was beginning to feel a little flicker of hope. Her speech had been short and sweet, and she hoped the pupils would have taken something from it.

She saw that a crowd was around the wall, and she smiled as she saw that they had obviously been interested enough to see what she had written.

Isabella turned and saw Chloe as Chloe noticed the gathering. She waved, and Chloe waved back and smiled. Isabella glanced behind her to see Darcy was talking to someone else, and then jogged over.

"I thought your speech was pretty good," she told the older woman shyly. "I remember you vaguely when you were here. I was always jealous because your hair was exactly the way I wanted it."

Chloe laughed.

"You have no idea what I had to do every morning to get it to stay like that. Anyway, I’m glad you enjoyed the talk. I just hope it gets through to some of you."

"Oh, I think it will," Isabella smiled, and Chloe returned her own warm smile.

When Isabella had rejoined her friends, Chloe left, driving away slowly, leaving her own small legacy on the wall. A simple one, but one nevertheless.

I REGRET NOT TRYING HARDER WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL.

Isabella was looking at the message now, and she was thinking the same thing as Chloe.

Perhaps, Chloe was thinking. This is the good that will come out of it. I can’t change the past, but I can inspire the future.