Moonlight

It's been 3 days since I had the dream about my father and the wolf. Ever since then I haven't been able to get him out of my head. It's strange. I never used to think about him. Now I can't stop thinking about him. I just want to forget, you know? He hurt me so much, within such a little amount of time. Yet, I still love him. Your father's a man who's supposed to be there to pick you up when you fall, and to protect you, and to walk you down the aisle. Mine never did that, never will do that, and it really hurts.

Is it wrong to blame myself? Was I not enought for him? Didn't he love me too?
I shook my head to clear the thoughts from my head. I would not let him bring me down, nope not even a little. I didn't do anything wrong, I know that. Now all somebody has to do is tell my heart that.

"Kayden, you out here?"

I jumped slightly at Bella's voice coming from the house. I turned around and looked at my
cousin. "Yeah, I'm over here,"

Bella smiled at me, "What are you doing out here? It's about to storm," She said as she walked over to me. She layed down next to me on the cover.

I looked up to dark clouds above us. "Just watching the storm come in,"

"Everything okay?" Bella placed her hand over mine, and squeezed it gently.

I looked over at her, "Everything's fine," I smiled, "I promise"

"Well, alright, come inside soon okay? I rented Prince of Persia: Sands of Time"

"Mmm.. I love me some Jake Gyllenhaal" I smirked.

Bella giggled, "Mmm, he is gorgeous, I will give you that." With that Bella left me outside to stare off into the clouds again. My thoughts drifted off to the dream again, but this time the wolf filled my thoughts with questions. Why did it pop into my dreams? Why did I worry about it's safety??

I'm big believer that dreams always mean something. (Well except for that one dream where I moved to LA, opened my own chalupas stand, got married to Lady Gaga, and adopted Lindsey Lohan... I'm still not sure what the fuck I was on during that dream, but it was epic none-the-less) But how could a wolf somehow mean something in my life?

I had only seen it once, and when I did he jumped out infront of me; to protect me from the other wolf. In the dream he seemed to be protecting me as well. But why would he need to protect me from my father... My father was a little unsettling at first, but he's my father, he would never hurt me, his little princess.

"Ughh" I groaned, my head was starting to hurt from thinking too hard. I looked at the woods around me, suddenly feeling watched. My eyes paused on a little patch of sandy fur. I smiled, suddenly happy. I got up and started to walk over to it's little hiding place. It's head popped up when it realized I had caught it watching me. He had an expression that reminded me a hell of a lot of a kid who got caught with it's hand in the cookie jar. It started to back away, and run away.

"No! Don't go!" I reached out my hand subconsiously.

I felt retarded. Here I was standing outside, calling out to a giant wolf, that was roughly the size of a horse. I knew I had a pretty bad life, but I never knew I was suicidal before.

What really shocked me, though, was the wolf actually stopped. "Wow, I don't really know what to say now... I didn't think you would actually stop."

The wolf snorted and for some reason it felt like it was laughing at me.

I smiled, "You know, I have two dogs at home, Hahn and Liea. You remind me a lot of Hahn. Yeah I'm a big star wars geek, get over it," I laughed.

The wolf barked, and wagged its tail at me.

"Well are you gonna stay in there the whole time, or are you gonna come join me on the blanket?" I said, as I walked over to the blanket. I sat down, and patted the spot next to me. "Come on, I don't bite"

Wolfy rolled his eyes and made his way over to me.

"There we go, you see, I don't have cooties after all" I giggled.

Yeah I'm going insane. Here I am talking to a wolf. Well I might as well enjoy freedom before they throw me into the looney bin.

"So I don't know what your name is... so I'm just gonna call you Wolfy, is that okay with you, Wolfy?"

Wolfy looked reluctant, but he nodded his head none the less.

"Woahh, hold the phone. You can understand me?"

Wolfy nodded. "Wow." I said. "That's... Awesome"

Wolfy smiled, and licked my face, "Ewwww dog slober! Wolfy that isn't funny!" Against my own words I started laughing almost uncontrollably, he barked and wagged his tail. I could almost hear his reply, 'Yes it is'

Thunder rang over us, and I shrieked, grabbing him close. "I think I'm gonna go inside, before I get struck by lightening, Wolfy. You should find some shelter too, I think it's gonna get bad tonight"

The wolf nodded, and I kissed it's forehead. "See you later, wolfy" I smiled, before running inside of the house and watching Prince of Persia with Bella.

Mmmm... Jake Gyllenhaal, oh how I wish you were mine.