‹ Prequel: Funeral for a Friend
The last sight of day light
Four boys
There's not much to say about the scene: four boys in a grave yard. It's been a long while since the last time I saw day light, since the last time I felt the sun rays burning my skin. Oh, how I long for those days now...
The days when Mikey would stay by my side, telling me that I was his role model, even though I wasn't more than a social waste. When he used to come to me for any kind of advice, even though he was much more mature than I was. But I was his big brother, and he always felt proud of that. He always felt proud of me when I got his back whenever he was in trouble with our parents. He always knew I would take care of him, no matter what. Now, the image of him begging me to quit drugs is stuck in my head, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
The days when Ray would tell me that I was his best friend, his brother... I knew he was right, because I felt the same way. There was nothing that had happened in my life that Ray didn't know about. He always would be there for me, and I always would be there for him. He was the first person who told me to follow my dream when I told him about having a band and changing the world. Good old Ray, always there for me. Now, the image of him begging me to go back to what I was before is stuck in my head, and there's abosolutely nothing I can do about it.
The days when Bob used to take care of me as if he was my mother... Actually, I think that he felt like the mother of all of us. And everytime I felt sick, he was there. My headaches and my hangovers, he always took care of them, so caring and loving... Bob was really special to all of us, really special to me... Now, the image of him begging me to stop drinking is stuck in my head, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
The days when I met Frankie. Oh God, Frankie. The sweetest man in the whole world. The very first minute I laid my eyes on him, I knew for real that he was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It was destiny. There was no way that he had a life of his own and I had mine. We were so happy and productive together, and the entire world could see that. Oh, the days when he told me he loved me, and made me the happiest man alive. It was like the planet was placed under a new sun, a brighter and nicer one. The days when we moved in together because we couldn't spend one single minute away from each other. Now, the image of him telling me he didn't love me anymore, even though we all knew he was lying, is stuck in my head, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
There's nothing I can do about anything now. Everytime I blew cocaine through my noise, or drank a whole bottle of alcohol, I threw away the chance of going back to what I was before. I was hanging out with the wrong people, and I just couldn't see it. Ray told me so many times that what I had with certain persons wasn't real friendship, no matter how comfortable I felt with them. I should have known because they never talked to me or treated me the way Ray did. Mikey and Bob also suffered the consequences of my stupidity. They saw me destroying my self, not listening to them... How I wish now that Frankie had never cried because of me. I don't even know why did I treat him like that when I decided to go back to him. It was like my brain had a life on its own, and I was totally cruel to him, even though I loved him with all my heart. That's about the time he told me he didn't love me, and realization came to me in the most heavy way, when I saw that I wouldn't be able to live for even a second if he ever walked away. Now, the image of the shiny blade going through my body... The last sight of Mikey talking desperately on the phone... The last sight of Ray and Bob crying, one more time, because of what I did... The last sight of my beautiful Frankie holding my head, telling me that everything would be ok, crying and begging me to stay with him... The last sight of day light... All of this is stuck in my head, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
There's not much to say about the scene: four boys in a grave yard. Except, of course, that they all have been suffering for an entire year.
The days when Mikey would stay by my side, telling me that I was his role model, even though I wasn't more than a social waste. When he used to come to me for any kind of advice, even though he was much more mature than I was. But I was his big brother, and he always felt proud of that. He always felt proud of me when I got his back whenever he was in trouble with our parents. He always knew I would take care of him, no matter what. Now, the image of him begging me to quit drugs is stuck in my head, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
The days when Ray would tell me that I was his best friend, his brother... I knew he was right, because I felt the same way. There was nothing that had happened in my life that Ray didn't know about. He always would be there for me, and I always would be there for him. He was the first person who told me to follow my dream when I told him about having a band and changing the world. Good old Ray, always there for me. Now, the image of him begging me to go back to what I was before is stuck in my head, and there's abosolutely nothing I can do about it.
The days when Bob used to take care of me as if he was my mother... Actually, I think that he felt like the mother of all of us. And everytime I felt sick, he was there. My headaches and my hangovers, he always took care of them, so caring and loving... Bob was really special to all of us, really special to me... Now, the image of him begging me to stop drinking is stuck in my head, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
The days when I met Frankie. Oh God, Frankie. The sweetest man in the whole world. The very first minute I laid my eyes on him, I knew for real that he was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It was destiny. There was no way that he had a life of his own and I had mine. We were so happy and productive together, and the entire world could see that. Oh, the days when he told me he loved me, and made me the happiest man alive. It was like the planet was placed under a new sun, a brighter and nicer one. The days when we moved in together because we couldn't spend one single minute away from each other. Now, the image of him telling me he didn't love me anymore, even though we all knew he was lying, is stuck in my head, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
There's nothing I can do about anything now. Everytime I blew cocaine through my noise, or drank a whole bottle of alcohol, I threw away the chance of going back to what I was before. I was hanging out with the wrong people, and I just couldn't see it. Ray told me so many times that what I had with certain persons wasn't real friendship, no matter how comfortable I felt with them. I should have known because they never talked to me or treated me the way Ray did. Mikey and Bob also suffered the consequences of my stupidity. They saw me destroying my self, not listening to them... How I wish now that Frankie had never cried because of me. I don't even know why did I treat him like that when I decided to go back to him. It was like my brain had a life on its own, and I was totally cruel to him, even though I loved him with all my heart. That's about the time he told me he didn't love me, and realization came to me in the most heavy way, when I saw that I wouldn't be able to live for even a second if he ever walked away. Now, the image of the shiny blade going through my body... The last sight of Mikey talking desperately on the phone... The last sight of Ray and Bob crying, one more time, because of what I did... The last sight of my beautiful Frankie holding my head, telling me that everything would be ok, crying and begging me to stay with him... The last sight of day light... All of this is stuck in my head, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.
There's not much to say about the scene: four boys in a grave yard. Except, of course, that they all have been suffering for an entire year.