In This Starless City

Banner by Kelso. Yeah, I know. Boner. :]

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My eyes shot open violently after only a few hours of sleep. The first thing I saw was the dawn-lit ceiling above my bed. The second was Jack by my side, jostling my arm gently still.

“Charlotte, we have to get ready to go to the airport,” he says quietly. I knew that he probably thought I was rather fragile from the previous night’s events, but I wanted to assure him that I would be okay on my own. If I was going down, I certainly didn’t want to drag him down with me.

“I’m fine Jack,” I say as I sat up on the mattress, falling back on the headboard as pain shot through my right arm. I had leaned on my palm and it was now burning as I pressed on the searing epicenter of pain. My eyes watered and I looked around for those pills that I had gotten from the hospital before we left.

Jack handed the amber bottle to me and I thanked him reluctantly. He was doing just the exact opposite of what I wanted at the moment. But I knew there was nothing I could do to get him to stop being so worried and so caring. It was in his character…and I supposed I liked that about him regardless.

I popped the white cap off of the bottle and dropped two white capsules into my left palm. I brought my hand to my mouth and downed the pills dry only because I didn’t want Jack to think he had to get me a glass of water.

I swung my legs off of the mattress and stood, stretching my arms above my head and relishing in the refreshing cracks that shot out of my stiff joints.

I looked over at Jack as he sat on the bed, his eyes suddenly on my face. He had rings under his eyes and he looked as tired as I felt. Last night was a long one for me, but I could only assume it was longer for him.

I remembered it all in remarkable clarity. Usually high stress situations stick in my mind with a layer of cloudy film over them. But this…this was like watching the whole thing on an IMAX screen.

I had my phone pressed so hard against the side of my head I thought my ear would be bruised the next morning. Either that, or I thought the phone would break in half. Whichever came first, I remember thinking to myself.

“Your father was driving home from work and he got caught in a heavy rainstorm and hydroplaned off the road and into a tree,” my mother had said. I could hear the bustling business of the hospital behind her voice. She didn’t seem concerned enough…but maybe it’s because she wasn’t half a world away.

“Where is he now?” Surgery, I had thought frantically, or the ICU. Maybe even the morgue? My imagination had been making me hysterical, but Jack had my hand laced within his and his eyes weren’t leaving my face. Every single time my eyes would widen, prickle, or overflow, his fingers would tighten around my hand and he’d lean his forehead on my temple; a physical remind that he was there, that he’d always be there.

“He’s in the emergency room,” she answers steadily. “He was a little beat up by the impact and had lost a lot of blood.” The fear finally seeped through her voice, causing it to crack.

“Mom, I want to come home.” Was the only thing I remember saying because that was the only thing I wanted in that moment.

“What time is your flight?” she had clearly been thinking a lot more logically than I had been.

“Four hours.” It had been two in the morning when she asked that. “Will you be at the airport when I get there?”

“Of course I will be,” she answered, a subconscious laugh in her voice like she thought it was silly that I even had to ask.

“Good,” I had replied. “I’ll text you when we’re taking off in the morning. Keep me updated about dad.” My eyes were welling again.

“I will,” she had replied and I heard a siren go off wherever she was. “I love you, honey.”

“I love you too,” I had responded before quickly ending the call.

From there, things are blurry because I didn’t do much other than sob into Jack’s shirt which was still clearly evident from the makeup that was smeared all over it that morning.

“I’m sorry I kept you up all night last night,” I murmur to him as I unzipped my suitcase so that I could pull out a new shirt. I had wiped my eyes on the collar of mine last night as well.

Jack smiled wearily. “I didn’t mind,” he assured, standing and walking into the other room. “Holler when you’re done teasing me.”
I rolled my eyes as I pulled my shirt over my head, throwing it into my suitcase before pulling my new beater and shirt over my head. I quickly swapped sweatpants for a pair of blue baggy, holey jeans. They were my favorite pair because of how worn they were.

“I’m descent,” I said just loudly enough for Jack to hear me and he quickly came back into the room.

“If I was waiting for you to be ‘descent’ I would’ve never left the room,” he walked to his suitcase and without giving me a second to realize what was going on, he pulled his shirt over his head and slipped on a JAGK one. I laughed and he looked at me, quirking an eyebrow. “What?”

“You’re like…the skinniest white boy I’ve ever met,” I gestured to his torso and he gawked. “You’re a fucking twig.” I emphasized when he gawked at me.

“Oh really?” he challenged and before I could scramble away from him, he had wrapped his arms around my middle and tackled me onto the bed, straddling me at the hips and pinning my wrists down on the mattress beside my head. I stared up at him, eyes narrowed, smirk on my face. “Still think I’m a twig?”

“I think if your ego wasn’t so fucking big, I wouldn’t feel any weight on me right now whatsoever. Yeah, I still think you’re a twig.” My smirk widened.

Jack’s brow furrowed and I could see the gears turning in his mind as he stared down at me. His fingers tightened around my wrists momentarily before releasing them and sliding his hands into mine, gently in my right so as to not agitate the slash through it, entwining his fingers between mine like he had the night before. “Charlotte,” he said in a low tone. His eyes were like dark chocolate, questioning and desiring, but careful and clearly full of hesitation. He opened his mouth to say something else, but before he could, the sound of my phone’s ring tone and it vibrating on the hard wooden bedside table ripped through the calm air.

Jack sighed and grabbed it, handing it to me. I was surprised that he didn’t climb off of me, but every substantial thought flew out of my mind when I looked at the screen on my phone to see that it was my mom that was calling.

“Hello?” I answer frantically.

“Hey Charlotte,” she said and she seemed incredibly calm, rested, like she had just woken from a rather sound sleep. “Are you on your way to the airport.”

My eyes lowered to my and Jack’s current position. “No, not quite,” I think Jack heard her question because he snickered. “How’s dad?”

“He’s fine sweetie,” she says and the origami knots that were crinkling my insides loosened intensely. “He was awake just a little bit ago but they said he needed to rest so they gave him a sedative…quite against his better opinion.”

I had to laugh. I knew my father was hardheaded. That’s where I got it. “When will he be discharged?”

“Oh, in a couple of days. They want to make sure he’s not traumatized from the accident. Though I clearly don’t think he will be because the only thing that’s been on his mind since he woke up was when you were going to get here.”

“Well, if he wakes up again, tell him I’m on my way.” My day was instantly better.

My mom agreed to do so, said she loved me, I said I loved her, and the call was ended. I smiled up at Jack.

“Going to be a good day?” he asked.

“Going to be a great day.” I insisted.

“Good,” his façade turned mischievous. “That means I can do this.” He lifted the front of my shirt up and pressed his mouth to my belly, blowing and giving me a raspberry. I screamed, laughing, and then grabbed the pillow from behind my head and clobbered him in the face with it. “Now it’s fucking war.”

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Before we left for the airport, we were told that we had to empty the tour buses of any possessions that we may have accidentally left behind. Truly not looking forward to having to clean up our own mess, I put off the task and ended up that last one in the bus after the three boys had already cleared out their belongings.

It almost looked the way it had when we first moved into it, aside from some disheveled couch cushions in the front lounge and the microwave door behind wide open.

I walked to my bunk and pulled the curtain back, looking the mattress up and down. There didn’t appear to be anything in there, but just for safekeeping, I shuffled the sheets and blankets and pillows around. There wasn’t anything there that shouldn’t have been until my fingers clenched a different kind of fabric that was crammed between the mattress and the wall.

I yanked out Alex’s hoodie, snorting at myself for having forgotten that I had hidden it. More hilarious yet was that Alex had clearly forgotten it was missing.

It seemed so long ago that I had taken it, but it had really only been a little under a week. My mind reeled as I thought about the time that had passed.
I stuffed the hoodie into my bag and walked to the far back of the bus, opening the door to the back bedroom lounge area. All seemed well back there except for one tiny thing: Jack’s baseball cap.

I remembered clearly the way I threw it viciously into that back room, swearing to forget that it was even back there (which I had clearly done a good job of doing) that day Jack and I had fought.

However, in retrospect, I wondered if I had thrown it there to get it away from myself…or to keep it away from him.

I picked it up off the floor and stuffed it into my bag along with Alex’s hoodie. And just in the knick of time because the moment I had zipped my bag shut, Jack came bursting through the door of the best, grasping my hand with that kind of troubled, guilty smile on his face.

“We need to get the fuck out of dodge.” He says and he pulled me toward the cab that was parked in front of the hotel.

One hour later, we were at the airport, past security, and in the waiting area for our flight.

“I can’t believe you two broke the fucking lamp,” Alex laughed, rubbing his eyes as we stood in line to get on our flight.

“Hey, it was him!” I thumbed toward Jack who was standing beside me, smiling ridiculously.

Alex rolled his eyes. “Three hundred dollars for a fucking lamp,” He murmured through a sarcastic laugh before handing his ticket to the attendant and walking down the ramp toward the plane.

I sniggered. “It’s not like it come out of his wallet,” I scoff, situating the duffel bag strap on my shoulder.

Jack laughed too. “Maybe if you hadn’t started it…” he trailed off and I elbowed him hard in the ribs.

“Don’t even start that!” I remind him in a faux point tone. He rose his eyebrows at me and I was looking at him as I handed my ticket to the attendant. “Otherwise, we might have to settle this on my own turf.”

“You haven’t been back home in years,” he denies as he trotted after me, leaning his head down toward mine. “That hardly gives you a home field advantage.”

“I will be more accustomed to the jet lag though, my dear,” I ran a finger down his jaw line and he stood straight up, flustered. “I might just plot a sneak attack while you’re dragged from the time change.”

“That would be a below-the-belt shot,” he states like he didn’t believe I would do such a thing.

“Would you expect anything more from a girl?” I stepped onto the plane, looking sideways at him, stumbling on the threshold between the boarding ramp and the aircraft. Jack reached out and caught my elbow, steadying me and keeping me from having to press my right, wounded hand against the wall.

“Nope,” he answered my question with a cocky smirk.

I sneered at him, turning away and hearing him laugh which caused my insides to jerk and twist and me to smile.

I found my and Jack’s seats in the very back of the first class section and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the situation. He and I had met because we were all late in purchasing our tickets to LAX. And now here we were, flying out of New York City to London and he and I are as thick as thieves.

I sat down and quickly shoved my carry-on under the seat in front of me, not wanting to have to deal with the bitchy flight attendants like we had before. Jack did the same, and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was.

“I’m glad we’re fast learners,” I laugh, leaning back in the seat and peering out the window. The sun was barely over the horizon.

I had been waiting for Jack’s sharp-tongued reply, but it didn’t come. I looked over at him. He was slouched in his seat, the seatbelt that was buckled low across his hips causing his shirt to push up, and his eyes were closed and his breathing was rhythmic.

I looked at him for a long moment, suddenly drowning in memories. I remembered the way he was dressed when I first saw him on the flight to LAX. He had been wearing dark blue skinny jeans, a grey t-shirt, a plaid button-up shirt over that, and a grey hoodie over that. And of course, a black LA baseball cap.

Which reminds me, I thought with a smile, reaching down between my feet to open my carry-on and pull out the cap that he had forgotten he had lost. I reached over and placed it on his head, pulling the bill down over his eyes, causing more of his hair to fall into them as well. My smile widened involuntarily.

Despite being moved, Jack didn’t budge and his breathing didn’t differentiate. He was clearly going to be out like a light for a couple of hours. So, I turned to gaze out the window once more as the plane began to taxi toward the runway.

Then, just as what had happened one month before that moment, there was a hand on the side of my face pulling me toward the “sleeping” body beside me. I smiled as Jack said, “Relax, Charlotte,” just as he had before.

I wondered if he was remembering everything just as I had been doing that entire day.

My temple met his shoulder and I instantly looped my arm through his, savoring his body heat and the smell of his cologne. Then, in a movement full of déjà vu, he reached across me again and pulled the shade down on the window, blocking out the New York sun.

When he brought his arm back, he wove our fingers together as he leaned his head on mine.

“Don’t pretend I forgot,” I murmur as my eyelids began feeling heavy.

“I didn’t.” I responded, planting a kiss on my cheek before resting his head on mine again.

We were both asleep before the plane had left the ground.