In This Starless City

Banner by MyxBeautifulxTragedyx (over on 'Zilla). Truly amazing. You see that middle picture there? If you didn't swoon, you haveth no heart.

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My eyelids opened easily the next morning and I had to keep myself from bursting into laughter when I looked to my left at the bed beside mine. Nathan, Oliver, and Brandon were all piled on the mattress; arms flopped over each other in drunken exhaustion. It looked like a candid camera moment, but since I didn’t want to be maimed later and the payback from the boys would be worse than the picture is worth, I decided against it. The memory in and of itself was good enough for me.

I climbed out of my bed and walked to the bathroom, stripping off my clothes and climbing into the shower. My skin and hair smelled like chlorine from the previous night. My olfactory senses burned and my stomach rolled at the reminder of last evening. Jack’s face came to mind and I felt my cheeks heat up…with no help from the hot water that was falling from the showerhead.

Then, I had to smirk because if Jack ever found out that I was thinking of him while I was in the shower, he would never let me live it down.

I washed the smell of chlorine off my skin and out of my hair and then climbed out and snatched a towel from the rack above the toilet. I patted myself dry before wrapping the towel around myself and wiping the condensation from the mirror. Then, I jumped at the loud knock on the door.

“Hurry it up, Charlotte. We’re supposed to be down at the buses in an hour and the rest of us are going to need the bathroom longer than fifteen seconds each,” Oliver hollers.

“Okay,” I yell back. “Do me a favor—get in my suitcase and get my dark jeans and my yellow stripes! It’ll speed up the process,”

I heard his footsteps scurry away before the sound of the zipper of my suitcase being ripped open. I did my makeup in record time—before Oliver had even returned with my admired articles of clothing. He knocked on the door and I unlocked it, held out a hand, and snatched the clothes when he placed them in my palm.

I dressed quickly and then stepped out of the bathroom, hunching when a blur of light brown streaked by me, the door slamming shut once more. Nathan swore when he plowed into the closed door, hitting it with his fist.

There was a knock on the open door to our room and when I faced the sound, there Alex leaned on the doorframe. “Ready to head out?” he asks with an excited grin.

“Almost!” Oliver screams from the bathroom as I opened my mouth to respond. I simply closed my mouth and smiled at him.

Then, Zack, Rian, and Jack came barreling into our room behind the surprisingly calm Gaskarth. I wondered if he had something on his mind what with the look he was giving me as he sat down on our couch, crossing his legs at the ankles on the coffee table in front of him.

“Let’s fucking go!” Nathan says as he walked into the room, pulling his—as well as my—luggage behind him. I fixed him with a stare; I was no feminist, but I wasn’t incompetent either. I could tend to my own baggage but these boys could never remember that.

“I could agree more,” Zack says as he sits beside Alex, elbowing him to the side so as to make room for his own feet on the coffee table as well. “Tell Oliver that it won’t make a difference if he’s wearing makeup today or not. None of us will mind either way.”

“Har, har,” Oliver says as he walked into the room with his suitcases. “I’ve got a cramp from not laughing.”

And at the reminder of the vacancy of cheap yet hilarious jokes, my eyes flicked to Jack who was standing quietly by the door of our room. He had one of his hands in the pocket of his jeans and the other one was holding his phone. He was looking at it intensely, like he was in a heated staring contest with the screen. I was both confused and concerned with the expression on his face: he looked pissed and hurt and puzzled, like whatever was on the screen of his phone was bringing out the worst in him. I wanted to ask him if something was wrong, but before I could…

“Charlotte,” Alex says, causing me to turn and look at him before I could think of what to say to Jack. I noticed Alex’s eyes flicker to Jack before focusing on me. “Ready to go?”

Everyone was standing in the living room area of the hotel room now and I noticed my luggage was sitting beside my chair. I looked at Alex who was holding my gaze determinedly before nodding and standing up, grabbing the handle of my suitcase and pulling it behind me as I pulled the strap of my duffel bag over my head and onto my shoulder.

The eight of us walked out of our room and toward the elevator. Jack was slightly detached from the group, still focusing his attention on his phone. I was beginning to feel a little put off: this was a huge day for me and my band and he could put his phone down for just a few seconds to enjoy the day with us and his own bandmates. My eyes narrowed slightly involuntarily.

Alex walked up to me and nudged me in the arm. I turned and looked at him. He knew I was glaring at Jack before I could even deny that I was. “What crawled up his butt and died?” I ask pointedly, adjusting the duffel bag on my shoulder and then crossing my arms.

Alex sighed but gave a small smile. “I would tell you, but I don’t really think it’s my place,” I made a face and Alex walked beside me as we loaded onto the elevator. “Give him an hour or so and he’ll be back to his normal self.”
Jack was in front of me in the elevator and I could see that he was still on his phone, but this time, I could see the screen. It looked like he was on his Twitter account, but then the page closed and he was writing a text message. I had to force myself not to eavesdrop (in some sense) on what he was saying. Then, he sent the message and returned to his Twitter page.

And then, the icing on the cake that was my frustration with the boy at the moment was when he slipped his phone into his pocket and hung his head, shaking it dejectedly.

My irritation thawed and I was only concerned then. Something was bothering that boy and I intended on finding out what.

><><><

We go to our buses and for the time being, I forgot about Jack’s issues because I was completely submerged with pure bliss.

My band was going on tour and I couldn’t have been more excited to just get out there and entertain anyone and everyone with our music. That’s all it was about to me: the music. And I truly intended to keep it that way. I made Oliver swear to me that if I ever started showing signs of big-headedness, narcissism, or an ego that was not in the interest of the band, to take a pair of scissors to my bass strings. That’d make me pull my head out of my ass.

In the back of our bus, there was “master” bedroom with a huge bed, it’s own bathroom, and a set of dressers. This is wear my boys and I decided to unpack. We’d already claimed our bunks and decided the bedroom in the back would be used in emergency situations only.

We had yet to specify what was and was not an emergency situation, but we decided that wasn’t important because we were too excited about the fact that our bus was beginning to move.

“I can’t believe this is fucking happening!” I sing from the couch in the front of the bus. I was stretched out and had an arm over my eyes. The shock was coming back and my heart was beating too fast to be healthy.

Brandon skipped over and planted himself on my stomach, causing me to groan and cough out a weak laugh.

“When is our first show?” he asks as he tapped his drumsticks on his knee. He was obviously stoked and couldn’t help but play the beats to our songs on whatever surface he could reach.

“Tomorrow,” Nathan answered. “Today we’re only traveling and then setting up and getting all the nervous jitters out.”

“My nervous jitters are never going to go away,” I say, my voice as strained as my diaphragm was under Brandon’s bony ass.

“Where is our first show?” Oliver wonders out loud and all of us looked at each other before shrugging at him. He laughed shortly and had to keep from rolling his eyes. “So, we have no idea where we’re even going?”

“Our bus driver does!” Brandon objects, sneering when Oliver did roll his eyes.

I shoved my hand into my pocket under Brandon’s leg, causing him to jump and look at me curiously. I fished it out and dialed Jack’s number, holding the phone to my ear and hearing it ring several times. Then, it went to voicemail. I pulled the phone away and looked at the screen as I ended the call.

He didn’t seriously just ignore my call because he’s pissy?

I looked at the boys, perplexed. “Why don’t one of you call to the other bus and ask where we’re headed,” I suggest, trying to keep my façade cool and uncaring about the Jack situation, but deep inside, I could feel myself unraveling.

Nathan already had his phone to his ear and was talking to someone. I slipped my phone into my pocket and listened to Nathan’s side of conversation until he hung up.

“Our first show is here in LA,” he says as he placed his phone on the table and spun it. “We’re setting up tonight and getting to know the venue and such and we’re staying in a hotel tonight.”

Excited chatter arose between Oliver, Nathan, and Brandon, but my mouth remained immobile.

“Who’d you call?” my curiosity thirsted.

Nathan looked at me. “Jack,”

><><><

We got to the venue and our roadies set up everything for us…which I was not accustomed to at all. I insisted that I hold on to my bass though because as much as I knew I was supposed to trust our crew, I didn’t want to risk anything happening to her.

I sat on the edge of the stage and strummed quietly, staring at the pit beneath my dangling feet and thinking critically. I felt someone sit down next to me but I didn’t look up and continued to play wordlessly.

“Something wrong?” I hear Rian ask.

I shook my head. “Nope,” I gave a half-assed smile. “Everything is great.” I looked up at him finally. “I’m on tour with three of my very best friends and four of the nicest guys I’ve ever had the fortune of meeting on a plane.”

Rian smiled back at me fully, and his smile made me beam, my mood lifting instantly. I stood from the apron and placed my bass gently on a rack. Alex and Oliver walked in and looked at Rian and me.

“Something going on?” Oliver asks carefully and I knew he could sense the ghost of my bad mood.

“No,” Rian answered for me and I only nodded in quiet agreement before following them back toward the buses. “Where are we staying tonight?” I ask as Rian as we walked off the stage and into audience area. His eyes rose to the top of the seats.

“Buses tonight,” he answered. I pumped a fist and his lips curved. “Excited about that?”

“Well, sure!” I answer exuberantly. “I want the full tour bus experience before I feel I have the right to diss it or to want to stay in a nice, warm hotel bed.”

He nodded. “I guess that’s fair,” and we kept walking. Then, Jack fell into step beside Rian.

“What’s up, bitches?” he asks with a joking grin.

My smile faltered involuntarily and I had to physically keep my eyes from narrowing at the boy. Luckily, he and Rian were discussing something and I was as good as invisible toward the both of them for the time being.

We walked out of the venue and I walked straight to our bus, only waving when Rian asked if I’d be joining my boys and them on their bus. I wanted to decline, but I didn’t want them coming to the bus to get me later either. So I kept my decision undecided and it worked well enough.

I went to my bunk and laid down, pulling the curtain closed and reaching for my phone. I dialed the number two and then pressed send.

“Hello?” A warm sense of safety and nostalgia drizzled over me at the sound of the familiar English accent.

“Hey mom,” I smiled.