The Blank Truth In Sincerity

"And then.. They danced!" Janine shouted at the top of her lungs. She dropped her papers on the floor and took a deep bow.

I couldn't help but laugh at this. This is what Mr. Collier got for making her change her report on abortion to a more "appropriate" topic. She just made up something about how in the end Satan and God were too tired to fight so they just danced. Lord, I was going to miss her next year.

It was senior year. Finally, right? No. Oh so wrong! After all the days I spent dreading waking up in the morning and coming to this hell-hole training school, I knew for sure I was going to miss it. After graduation I don't only have to worry about surviving on my own, but I also have protect the younger vampires too. I'm not ready for that.

I'd been researching some colleges in Arizona that were known for their creative writing programs. But if I went out of the country for my own needs, I would be considered selfish. With our numbers minimizing, to leave would put the biggest shame on my family's name. We already had enough shame from the incident that I had with Tyranny Vredov. If anything else happened they would probably shun me.

The bell rung, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Wait up, Roran," Janine yelled running up to me.

I smiled at her. "Way to go out with a bang."

"Yes, I thought it was pretty fabulous too," she said winking at me.

Pushing my earlier thoughts to the side, I put on an extra happy face. I even raised my body heat a little to make my cheeks blush and my tan look even darker.

"There's my little princess," Rhage said. He entwined his fingers with mine and joined us in our walk to the lunchroom.

As we passed people in the hallway they either smiled or drifted away to the shadows. Janine and i were of royal blood, which meant that only the highest in the social classes could look upon us within our prime. It was a ridiculous rule seeing how everyone was always saying how equal everyone was. Guardians, non-royals, and royals were all supposed to be on the same level, but everyone knew that would never happen. It was society’s biggest hypocrisy.

Janine was my cousin, and just like all others in our family, she had the looks of a goddess. Her eyes were the palest of grays and her skin was porcelain. Her cheeks were perfectly pronounced and made her eyes look even bigger. Her lips were always the palest violet. She was perfect in every meaning of the word.

Rhage, like all other males of our society, was going to be in our "army" which is why all males are given a "warrior" name. He was sworn at birth to protect all royal blood. Our parents were friends, and as we grew up and became close, he was assigned specifically to me. When he turned eighteen, he would take on the full duty of watching over me.

I caught site of Tyranny in the hallway. "Hey, you guys go sit down. I'm going to be there in a second."

Janine gave me a puzzled look, but when she saw him too she raised her eyebrows in warning. Rhage seemed to notice too because he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into a kiss. His lips molded perfectly into mine.

I pulled back and smiled. "I'll be there in a second. Just go find a place to sit."

As soon as they walked away, I collected myself and coolly made my way over to Tyranny.

"Hello, little one," Terror said as he saw me. I smiled at him and turned to Tyranny.

"Hey, Rorey," he said dryly. His face was completely blank, no signs of emotion whatsoever. It was very tiresome.

"God, do you ever look anything but bored? I just came over to be friendly and you don't even have the manners to put on a smile and start a conversation." I don't know why it made me so mad he wasn't interested in me, it just did. He'd never shown any interest in me, and it infuriated me.

He raised his eyebrows a small bit, but otherwise was unfazed. "Simmer down, little teapot."

Did he just call me teapot? "Don't tell me to simmer down! You're so rude!"

My emotions spun so out of control I knew smoke had to be shooting out of my ears. Usually I was so composed. Only he could make me so furious by not doing anything. Maybe that's why I wanted him hot ‘n heavy so bad. We would have some crazy fun.

I took a few deep breaths and composed myself. When I looked up, they were both staring at me with their perfect blank eyes. Like all older guardians, they could perfectly contain themselves. They didn’t even show emotions in the worst of situations.

Oh, it pissed me off.

Saving up the rest of my pride, I walked away. I could feel each of their eyes on me as I did. Tyranny was used to my outbursts, but I had no idea how Terror remained calm while I yelled.

"I just want you to know that everyone saw you throw a hissy fit over there," Rhage said bitterly as I sat down. "I don't even understand why you try to talk to him. He is a guardian and is meant only to be invisible and protect you."

Janine burst out laughing. "This royal right here can take care of herself. I'm pretty sure she can kick any ass that comes crawling in here. The only one she needs protection from is herself."

"She's right, you know," Calli said setting her salad on the table. "That damn temper of yours is going to be the death of yours."

I frowned and turned my head away from them. Calli was like a sister to me, and Tyranny’s charge. Just like Rhage was sworn to me, Tyranny was sworn to her. It made me jealous beyond all measures. How did she get him when I wanted him so bad? All of my thoughts were so confusing. And when I turned to Rhage, I felt disgusted with myself. Love, worry, jealousy, and a thousand other emotions were written on his face. He loved me so much. Why couldn’t I just be happy with that? I knew he would take great care of me.

When I smiled at him, a small smile crept up on Rhage’s lips too. He wrapped his hand in mine and I knew he’d forgiven me. Just like he did all those other thousand times I’d broke his heart.

In the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Warrior. He was standing in a crowd of non-royals and guardians, and obviously telling one of his fabulous stories about how life is like on the outside of this academy. Because of his badass reputation, most royals stayed away from him, but I liked him. He and I were a lot alike.

I caught Janine’s stare and nodded in the direction of Warrior. She didn’t even have to look to know what I was gesturing to. And by the way she nodded, I could tell she was thinking the same thing.

“We’re going to the feeders. We’ll be right back,” Janine said standing up. She leaned down and whispered in Calli’s ear. When she came up, Calli looked into my eyes and frowned. .
I kissed Rhage before he could offer to come with me and headed in Warrior’s direction. Janine and Calli were right behind me.

We couldn’t head directly in Warrior’s direction because that would arouse suspicion. Being around Warrior would hurt our reputation, and likely kill mine because I’m next in line for the crown. But that couldn’t keep me away from him. Nothing could keep me away from him. Him and I had a bond that kept us closely knit to each other. If anyone found out about this bond he’d be killed.

No matter how cruel this was, no one could stand between the future queen and her crown. It didn’t matter how I felt about him, but it did matter how my father, the king, felt. He would do anything to keep me from “ruining” myself. No matter how much I despised him in the process.

My father, the king. I hated and loved him at the same time. He was the only parent I had left in this world. I don’t remember much about my mother, but supposedly I look just like a mix of her and my Aunt Rose. Father never talked about her. The little information I had about her was came from my mother’s best friend, Rose. She’d said she was unlike any other woman she’d ever met. She was so fierce and lovely at the same time. She’d changed the way we lived in this world.

“We’re going to the feeders…” Janine said loud enough to get Warrior’s attention. He smiled secretly and excused himself from his group. He’d headed for the doors in the opposite direction, to the doors on the East Side of the building.

My phone vibrated and when I looked down I had a text from him. be there in a second, it read.

“Calli!” A voice I recognized above all others called. Tyranny rushed over to us, Terror close behind him. “Where are you going?”

“We’re going to feed,” she answered.

He nodded his head. “Just be back before dark and check in with me when you get back.”

I smirked. “Look who’s playing the protective one.”

“I’m her guardian,” he said turning to me. His perfect face was blank, as usual.

Jealousy won over me, and I looked away, surrendering my thoughts to other things.

Janine wrapped her arm around my waist and guided me towards the door. And after a few minutes, Calli joined us too.

I had to try hard not to glare at her. After all, it wasn’t her fault that Tyranny was her guardian. She didn’t pick him, so it wasn’t my place to blame her for her luck. Jealousy was a strong feeling though.

We were about halfway to the feeders when we went in the direction of our cabin. Taking precautions, each of us scanned the grounds for unwanted onlookers. When we all figured it was safe, we made our way into the cabin. Everything turned so quiet.

The cabin was small, and it was so out of the way, most of the guardians and vampires didn’t even know it was there. That made it our perfect place to meet. But we could only be away for a little while; maybe an hour at most.

Sometimes I wished I could bring Rhage with us. I hated hiding it from him, but he wouldn’t understand.
He was only a guardian, and had no idea what a vampire went through. Coming to the cabin helped me release everything. It was dangerous for me to do this, but with Warrior, Calli, and Janine there, I knew I was safe.

“Come here, ladies,” Warrior said smiling as we walked in. Before we even came into the house, I knew his exact location. Our bond helped me know where he was, no matter how far. We made our way into the kitchen and he bowed to me. “Hello, beautiful. And… others.”

I laughed and wrapped my arms around him. I could feel all his warmth through our clothes. “How was your latest trip?”

We all took a seat around the table to listen to his latest tale. “Montana is such a boring state,” he said feeling his way around his bag. He stopped when he found what he wanted and held it up. “Do you know what this is?” he asked me.

“That’s a book,” I said with a stupid look on my face. Did he really think I didn’t know what a book was?

He laughed. “God love you, Ror. Not only is this a book, but this is a book about your mother’s life.”

“Visilisa Dragomir?” Janine asked reaching her hand out for the book. When he handed it to her, her eyes opened widely. “It’s about her spirit powers and Rose.”

“Yes. And I read a little into it and there is some about you in there, Roran. There is this one part where it talks about how when you were born; your eyes were a bright red. And when you grew older, about the age of six, you were the spitting image of Rose and her unknown lover. It stated that if she hadn’t been the one in labor, she could have sworn you were born to Rose.”

I didn’t know what to think of that. Scandal was written all over this book. No word about this book could leave this cabin, but a part of me longed to know more. I wanted to ask Rose about it. I wanted to ask my father about my mother.

But I knew I couldn’t.

“But Lissa died in childbirth,” Calli said suspiciously. “She couldn’t have known anything past October 23, 1992.”

Warrior smiled and opened to a page dated December 15, 1995. “But look at this! There are pages dated all the way up to 2002. See.” He opened up to July 25, 1998. He read: “Today was hard, but Rose helped me through it. She took all of my bad thoughts away just as she always does. I know it hurts her, but she does it anyway. I miss Christian and Roran. Chris called today and told me that Ro-Ro was asking about me, I told him not to tell her anything though. It’s for the best. She needs to live her own life free of everything that could hurt her. I want my baby to be safe.”

My head started pounding and I could feel myself about to throw up. “Where did you find this?”

“St. Vlad’s academy in Montana. It was in the attic of the school’s church.”

Janine put her hand on my shoulder but I jerked away. “What else does it say about her? Does it say where she is?” I asked anxiously. Sorrow forced its way into my words. She was still alive, and that meant she gave me up willingly. I couldn’t deal with that.

“No,” he said sadly. “The entries stop on January 3, 2002. After that day, all the other pages are ripped out.”

The cabin was quiet for a while as everyone waited for my reaction. There was barely even a sound of breathing. The only sound came from the wind brushing the old windows.

I’d been lied to my whole life. I was lied to by my father, Rose, Adrian and countless other people. It made me question whom I could trust. It made me question who else knew about my mother. While her dying to provide a life for me caused enough pain, it was nothing compared to the pain I felt knowing she willingly left me.

Regret was radiating off of Warrior and I almost screamed at him. Every ounce of my body wanted me to stalk over to him and punch him in his throat.

“Come here, Warrior,” I said holding out my hand. He smiled, knowing what I wanted. When he reached me, I glanced at Janine and she smiled awkwardly. She grabbed Calli’s hand and they went to guard the door.

I took his hand and lead him to the bedroom upstairs. His whole being anticipated what was going to happen next and he couldn’t contain the happiness he felt.

When we reached the bed I stood by the door while he loosened the necklaces around his neck. When they were off, he walked over to the bed and lay down. His eyes seductively landed on my neck. I could tell it had been a while since he’d done this. I was the only one he could do it with and with me nowhere near him, he couldn’t get his release either.

My body had a mind of its own as I walked over to him. I grazed his neck with my fingertips and smiled. “It’s been a while.”

“Too long,” he agreed pulling me to him. His hands encouraged my lips to his neck, where I pressed a gentle kiss before sinking my teeth in. He winced at first, but soon I found him pulling my body on top of him. His hips jerked viciously against my hips and I felt his need grow. He was addicted this as much as I was.

Strong hands groped my body as I continued to feed. This type of feeding was as sexual as sex itself, but was a lot more filling. It only lasted a few minutes, but he would be feeling the aftereffects for hours. For the rest of the day, everyone would think he was high, and in a way he was. He just didn’t get that way the way everyone would think.

“Roran..” he moaned as I pulled away. I licked the stray blood rolling down his neck and he moaned. A seductive smile crept on his lips. “Goddamn, you’re a tease.”

He was right. I didn’t have to feed like this. I could have fed from his wrist. But for both him and me it wouldn’t be as satisfying. Usually after this way of feeding sex came. But it would never be like that for us. We did something more… illegal.

I unbuttoned my cashmere blouse to show the last place Rhage bit me. Warrior’s teeth weren’t strong enough to push through my skin, so he used places where my skin was already weak. Normally guardian-non-royals like him never did this, but it was a sensation I couldn’t resist.

Pain and pleasure cascaded through my body as his teeth brutally broke my skin and into my collarbone. As he drank I ran my hands through his beautiful black hair. He only drank a minute, but that was enough for him to reach his peak and scream out in pleasure.

Using my fingertips, I wiped the rest of the blood remaining on my lips and the place he bit. After I finished, I buttoned my shirt.

A satisfied sigh came from Warrior’s direction followed by a small laugh. “Only you could do this to me, Roran.”

I smiled at him and stood up to fix my skirt.

Neither him nor I had romantic feelings for each other. We just both loved the feeling we got through our bond when we fed from each other. It was a forbidden thing, which made it altogether more enticing. We were both each other’s release. I couldn’t feed like that on feeders and he wasn’t allowed to feed at all.

“Until next time,” I said smiling. With one last chaste kiss, we both made our way out of the cabin.

I was greeted by Janine’s warm smile. She was happy to see the color in my face and my eyes back to their bright color, but Calli gave me a disapproving look. She didn’t agree with our relationship, although she had no idea what we did while her and Janine were outside. All she knew was that Warrior and I did something forbidden. No matter the disapproval she felt, she would never tell.

“Goodbye ladies,” Warrior said smiling. He bowed to me and walked back to campus.

“Let’s go,” I said. We headed in the opposite direction in silence.

After we walked Calli to her dorm, Janine broke out in laughter.

“Are you okay?” I asked pulling my blouse tighter around me. When I ran my hand over the spot Warrior drank from, I found it to be damp. And when I looked down at it, I shrieked in terror. The blood hadn’t clotted and the blood had stained my uniform shirt.

If anyone saw this, I would be in a world of trouble. Vampires were not supposed to be fed on. Because when vampires were fed on, the feeder ran the risk of going dark. If their need went beyond addiction, they would gain a hunger for it beyond all sanity. Nothing would ease their thirst without the killing of their victim.

“Looks like your boob is on its period,” Janine snickered.

“I have to change my shirt before anyone sees.” I started panicking. What if someone found me like this?

I took my shirt off and threw it as far as I could. This only caused Janine to laugh more.

“Is it a little chilly?” Janine asked staring at my chest. “The chill seems a little… hard.” She could no longer contain herself, and fell on the ground laughing so hard.

“Roran, Janine, what the..” Tyranny stopped talking as I turned around. If I hadn’t known him better, I could have sworn I saw desire in his eyes. But I didn’t wait around long enough to find out. Before he could say anything else, we were booking it towards our dorm room.