Worry Rock

Hospital Visit

--Carlie's POV--


"Charlie!" we hug, and he says, "So, are you ready to rock out?"

"You know it!"

I go on to hug Mikey, Frank, Ray, and Bob, while the guys resort to simple handshakes and waves. Except for Mick, that is. He jumps up, hugging Gerard around the waist in a death grip, saying, "I love you, Gerry!" The guys and I are used to it and just smile, but for the My-Chem team, they're not so accustomed to Mick and look extremely confused.

Gerard pats Mick on the back saying, "Um, okay. I love you too, Mick," Mick lets go of him and just grins, waving hi to the rest of them.

Warren seems like he wants to top him in whatever game it is they are eternally playing and walks up to Mikey, saying, "Yo! What is up, my homie?" He holds his hand up, and Mikey slaps it.

"Nuttin much, G!" he says with a smile, and Warren returns it. He hadn't expected a reaction. He looks over at Mick and grins triumphantly, and his twin pouts.

"Hey!" I hear Joey say and look over to him standing by the stage entrance. Joey's coming on the tour with us. Billie wanted too, of course, but we made him stay home.

"Hey, Joe," I say to him, and he runs up to the group of us.

"Did you see how many people are out there?" he says.

"Do I want to?"


"Hey! You're on in ten minutes!" I hear a guy yell, and Boom nods to him to show we heard.

"Well, we'll go and let you do whatever it is you do before a show," says Gerard, and the other guys agree.

"See you later," says Boom.

"Bye, Gerry!" yells Mick. Gerard waves to him and walks off.

"Oh, leave Gerard alone, Mick," says Jake, rolling his eyes.

"You're just jealous because Gerard is my lover!" retorts Mick.

"What about me!?" says Jake in mock hurt. "I thought what we had was special! Fine. I'm leaving you for your brother," He puts his arm around Warren's waist, who puts his around Jake's shoulders and sticks his tongue out at Mick.

"My brother!? No!" he says, drawing out the "no" and falling to his knees. I just shake my head and walk off alone.

I need to get ready for the show. Mentally, I mean. We should've had more time, but we only got in New York an hour ago. The damn flight was delayed. And we've only been here at the show for about half an hour. And believe me, that's the fastest time we've gotten ready! I hate rushing. And now I only have a few minutes to mentally prepare myself for the biggest show of my seventeen-year-old life. Ooh, shouldn't have thought of that. Damn, I'm nervous.

What if I fall off the stage? What if I lose my voice? What if I forget the words or what to play? What if I get stage fright? Great, now I'm so nervous I'm about to puke. My muscles are all tensed up. I take a deep breath and bounce on my heels trying to calm down. Wow, this is scary. I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder and look up to see an excited Jakob standing there with a grin on his face.

"Come on, Charlie! We're on!" He hands me Red and starts running off towards the stage. I follow him, feeling the muscles in my chest tighten up. I cough, then cough again. Soon, I'm kneeling on the floor coughing uncontrollably. Jake runs back to me and kneels next to me saying, "Are you okay?" I nod as I get control of myself, taking a deep breath, but it's hard. "Maybe you should take your meds."

"I don't have them with me right now. I'm just nervous. Don't worry, I'll be fine once I get out there. Let's go."

"You sure?" I smile and nod, and we turn and begin moving again. As I take my first step onto the stage, I hear the yells of the huge crowd in front of me, I feel it all wash away. Nervous? Why be nervous? This is where I'm meant to be. On the stage with my best friends, ready to rock out. We didn't get a lot of planning in, but oh well. We'll just go with it.

I look out at the vast crowd in front of us, bewildered. "Boom!" I say into the mike, and he looks over at me. "This is so fucking amazing!" I hear the crowd laugh and cheer. He laughs, and we slam into our first song, one Jake wrote called "The Rush Year."

The show goes on for a while. We play about five songs before we get to the last one. Since we're touring with My Chemical Romance, they'll be doing the rest of the show. We're just the opening act. Throughout the show, I feel my heart speed up until I feel like I'm going to burst with all the energy I have. My arm is tired. My legs feel like jelly. My heart is beating fast. My breath is coming in gasps. But I never want it to end. I breathe heavily as I strum the ending chord, and we all hold up our arms to the crowd in front of us. Boom gives a little 'thank you' over the microphone, but I'm not really listening much to him. All the sounds around me feel blurred out, melding together so that I can't really make much sense of anything. I follow the guys running off stage, and My-Chem runs on after we're all off.

The guys are psyched out, high-fiving and cheering, but I just stand there breathless. I breathe heavily with a smile on my face, we did it. Joey runs up and hugs me. "You were awesome!" I try to say thanks, but the word won't seem to come out, so I just nod appreciatively, putting a hand on my chest. "Charlie, you okay?" he asks, looking concerned all of a sudden. I open my mouth, but again, nothing comes out. I try taking a deep breath, but my throat feels like it's closing up. I put my hand out and grab his sleeve, choking. "Guys! She's having an attack! Find her meds! Quick!"

"Call an ambulance!" someone else yells. I think it was Jake. I feel my legs giving out under me, but I'm caught in Joey's arms, pressed warmly against him, and he lowers us down to a sitting position where I continue to struggle. I'm almost panicking now, like when you dive into a swimming pool thinking you can touch the bottom ten feet below and then discover you're out of air. That's how I feel. I look up at Joey, panic in my eyes, and see immense worry in his. "It's okay," he says quietly, so I can only read his lips. "It's okay. You'll be alright, calm down. Oh, please don't die."

And then it all goes black.


I feel...weak. What happened? Memories of the show flow into my head. Oh my gosh. It's been a long time since I've had an asthma attack. But it's also been a while since I've been so pumped up. So I guess that explains it. I pushed myself too far. What am I going to do? If I can't even play that little starter show, how am I ever going to get through anything bigger? That one attack just put my whole career on the line.

"Charlie. Charlie. Charlie!" I hear fingers snapping in front of my face, and my eyes snap open to see that Warren was the one snapping his fingers and saying my name. Jake's sitting at my right side holding my hand, and Boom is on the left. I see all of them look relieved.

"Hey," says Jake quietly, with a weak smile. I return it and feel a weight on top of me. Looking up, I see Mick there hugging me tightly around the waist. I laugh and pat him on the back. He gets up smiling and stands there next to Jakob. I sit up and put my head in my hands. "Charlie, you okay?"

"I'm fine. Well, actually, no, I'm not," I take my hands down and look up at the white wall in front of my bed. "I had an asthma attack. And after only playing a few songs. If I can't handle that, how am I supposed to make it through an entire show?" I hug my knees and look down at them.

"You can make it. You just have to get used to the rush and everything. But not yet, okay? You should take it easy for a while," Boom. Of course.

"Psh, yeah right. We have more shows to play, and I am gonna play them!"

"Charlie, you could've died just now! Do you think I'm just going to let you put your life in danger again, just like that?"

"Music is dangerous! That's the way it's supposed to be!"

"You're not playing!"

"And who are you, my dad?"

"No, but you don't even talk to him, so that's a good thing," The guys are all sitting there silently, and I'm glaring angrily at Boom. I pull out the little wires monitoring me, and Boom says, "Charlie, stop it," I ignore him, reaching for the IV wire in my arm. He grabs my hand before it gets there, and I shoot him an angry look. The other guys seem to be keeping out of this on some unspoken consent.

"Let me go, Boom. I'm getting out of here."

"You have to stay and wait for the doctors to say you're okay."

"I don't have to do anything. I'm leaving."

I try to pull my hand out of his grip. "Carlie!" I look at him, and his face softens. "Please," At that moment, I see a woman in a white coat and carrying a clipboard running over.

"Oh, you're awake. Good," She looks really flustered. Like she should have ended her shift three hours ago but has to work overtime. Coffee must be her best friend at the moment.

"Who are you?" I ask. I don't mean to sound rude, but I'm not the happiest person in the world at the moment.

"My name is Dr. Welch. I'm in charge of your case."

"My case? You make it sound like I have some disease. Well, I do, I have asthma, but that's all. I'm fine. I am fine, aren't I? I can leave now?"

"Well, we'd like to keep you here for a while to regulate your condition. You might not-"

"Look, I'm sorry. I know you're just doing your job. I know that what I'm about to say makes me a pain in the ass, and I know you' probably rather be at home in bed right now, but listen to me for a moment. I don't want to be here either. I had an asthma attack. It's happened before. But it's over, and I'm fine now. I'm leaving."

"Miss, I don't think you should, it's safest to stay here for a while to make sure you're okay."

"I'm pretty sure I'll handle it. Besides, we have a show in a few days, we need to get on the road."

"Carlie," says Boom.

I look at him. "I don't care if you don't want me to play, Boom. I'm playing whether you like it or not."

"Stop it. Just think about it!"

"Well," cuts in the doctor, and we both look at her. "We only need to do some tests, and then if there's nothing extremely wrong with you, you can go."

"Come on, Carlie. Just take the tests," says Boom.

"Fine," I say folding my arms. "Just stop using my real name."

"Carlie!" I hear and cringe, looking up. After a while, I get annoyed with people using my real name. I don't know why. I just do.

Anyways, I see Joey coming into the room. Warren moves over so that he can stand next to me. He's smiling in relief, and he reaches out to hold my hand. I let him take it, smiling a little. "Hey, Joe."

"Are you okay? I mean, are you feeling alright?"

I can't help rolling my eyes and grinning at his concern. "I'm fine, Joey, as I've been telling everyone else in the room for the last ten minutes."

"You sure?"

I pull my hand out of his. "Yeah, Joey. I'm good," He smiles a bit, happy I'm okay, I guess. I can't be mad when he's around. I don't know why. I guess he just puts me at ease. It's like, he's so...innocent. Way too nice to be true. I sit up in the bed and say, "Well, let's get these tests done so that I can get my ass out of here!"

*The Next Morning*

The bastards had me stay overnight. That sucks, but it's alright because I'm getting out of here now, and we have another show to play in a couple of days. No, I'm not taking it easy. Okay, so maybe I'll remember to take my asthma meds this time, but I'm not letting anything bring me down when it comes to concerts. And just living normally. Seriously, do you expect me to just sit back and watch other people have fun? Not a chance. As I said before, music is dangerous. Just because it's a tad more literal for me doesn't mean I'm going to stop playing.

Last night, My Chemical Romance never found out we were gone until the end of the show, when they wanted to call us out for one final song and to wave goodbye to the crowd. Once they discovered what happened, they rushed right over. They stayed in with me for a while before the staff made them leave, since there were too many people in the room. Jakob stayed with me overnight, though. The rest of the guys were shooed out because visiting hours were supposedly over, but Jake hid under my bed until the doctors left the room so that he could stay with me. Ha, ha, take that, hospital. Rules suck.

I feel breath on my face and open my eyes to see Jakob's face there, inches away from mine. Yeah, we slept in the same bed. It's not a crime. Jake's like my twin brother. When we were little, we used to sleep in the same crib all the time. Trust me, we have pictures. Billie and Adie often use them as blackmail, too. You know, stuff like, they'll start talking about them with the guys if we don't go and do the dishes or stuff like that. And you know it takes weeks to get that subject to die down.

I put my hand up on Jake's face and he stirs. "Huh?"

"Jake, your breath stinks."

"Oh," He turns around to face the other way, and I throw the covers off of me, standing up. "Where ya going?" he asks tiredly.


When I come out a few minutes, I see that Jake is spread out across the hospital bed. And snoring quite loudly, might I add. I run over and jump onto the bed sitting on his stomach. He moans. "Charlie."

"Yes, Jake-ums?"

"Get off me."


"What time is it?" he asks, still not opening his eyes.

I grab his wrist and pull it up, looking at his watch. "Seven," I say.

"And you woke me up?" he says in annoyance. He finally opens his eyes to look at my grinning face.

"Yes. Because they'll probably be coming in to check on me soon. And you need to hide."

He groans. "When do visiting hours start again?"

"Um, seven."

"There, so I can be here now! Leave me alone," He pushes me off him, rolls over, and pulls the covers over his head grouchily. I roll my eyes. He was never a morning person. Usually, I'm not either, but his breath makes me a little reluctant to lay back down again. Seriously, it's not pleasant. So I sit on the edge of the bed and turn the TV on. A few moments later, I see Dr. Welch come in.

"You really should get more sleep," I say.

"Yes, well, your tests came back. You can leave now."

"Yes! Score!"

I hear Jake groan again and roll over. "What now?"

"I'm getting out of here!" I say happily.

"Did he sleep here?" asks the doctor warily.

"No, of course not!" I say. "He just came in to be with me and was really tired so let him lay on the bed."

"Oh. Well, okay. You can leave whenever you want to now."

"Yay!" I hop over to Jakob and hug him, to his distaste, since he's still crabby. I grab my clothes from a bag in the corner, and in a few minutes I'm ready to go.

"Jakob," I moan in exasperation, seeing that he's still in bed. I grab his hand and drag him up. "Come on, I'll drive."

Before we leave, the doctor gives me advice about different things to stay away from to avoid more attacks. Guess what those included? Aspirin. Yup. so I'm pretty much screwed if I get a hangover. That or I'll risk my throat closing up. Don't ask me why, it's just what she said. Damn.

As we walk out, I say to Jake, "You know what? We don't even have a car, do we?"

"Um, nope," he yawns.

"Just perfect."

At that moment, we see a cab pulling up fast, and out steps- oh, my God, Billie?

"Carlie! Are you okay?" he says, jumping out and hugging me tightly.

"Nice to see you too, Dad," says Jakob from next to me. Billie ignores him.

"Joey said you had an asthma attack and were in the hospital! Is that true? Did you forget your medicine again? I told you to keep it on you!"

"Calm down, Billie Joe. I'm fine. Why are you here?"

"To make sure you're okay. Hey, Jakob!" he says as if just noticing Jakob's there.

"Yeah. Hi, Dad."

"So. Now that I'm already here, can I stay and tour with you? Please?" Billie was pretty much begging to come with us before we left. I sigh.


"Please?" He pulls a puppy dog face. Oh, darn it! How am I supposed to say no to that? Well, again, anyways.

"Fine, Billie! Just till we get back to the Bay, okay?"

"Yay!" he says, hugging us both. "Come on, let's get back to the hotel." He gestures to the cab, which we climb into and direct the driver to our hotel.