Second Heartbeat

Now I was the one being comforted.

Zacky's arms were tightly wrapped around me. I was ruining his shirt with my salt water tears. I was holding bits of his shirt in my hands.

I was already hiccuping, and I felt like something was stuck in my throat.

Zacky was just being as calm as possible.

He was whispering little words to me every now and then.

"Everything's gonna be fine," he whispered.

I kept shaking my head.

Everything wasn't going to be fine. My mom died! She wasn't gonna ever be able to hug me, touch me, or even just say hi to me ever again.

"No, it's not," I whispered back. "Ssh, you'll see. Everything happens for a reason. I'm sure there was a reason for this even," Zacky said.

I almost wanted to slap him.

There'd be nothing to define this accident as right. My mom was dead, and she wasn't coming back. Nothing could ever make this right in my eyes.

No matter what Zacky said, it wasn't going to help me right now.

"No," I whispered.

Zacky pulled me away from him.

I already missed his warmth as he was staring at me. I refused to look up at him. I knew he was trying to make me feel better, and I knew I should just give in.

But I didn't want to.

"Look, Emma, I don't know why she had to die, but she did. I know it doesn't seem like it should've happen like this, but it did. She was a good person, and she was one of the best people in this world. I know she wouldn't want her beautiful twin daughters crying over her like this. She'd want you two to be happy right now," Zacky said.

I sat there, absorbing Zacky's words.

I knew he was right yet again, but I didn't want to admit it. As much as I didn't want to, I let myself give up for once.

I grabbed onto Zacky's waist, bringing myself closer to him. His body heat was comforting, and his arms were like shields against the harsh realities.

His soft whispers calmed me down with each tiny word.

"Just go to sleep," Zacky whispered. I shook my head.

"I don't want to," I mumbled. "You know you're sleepy." I thought about it for a while.

"Promise to be here, when I wake up?" I asked. "I won't leave for anything," he whispered.

I nodded slowly.

I let my eyes close slowly as I listened to Zacky's steady heartbeat.

I woke up, and I felt the softness of a bed underneath me. I couldn't feel Zacky's warm heat anymore.

My eyes opened up quickly, as my body quickly flew up.

I sighed deeply.

Zacky was just on the other side of the bed. He still had all his clothes on, and he was snoring peacefully and softly.

I slowly got up from the bed, stretching my limbs out.

They were all still asleep, and it felt like thousands of needles were prickling all over my body. I hated that feeling, but I tried my best to ignore it as I walked out of the room.

I made my way to the living room.

Johnny and Emily were both sleeping on the couch soundly. Johnny's arm were wrapped around Emily's body, and she was snuggled close to him.

I looked over at the pictures that Emily had hung all over the walls. I hadn't paid too much attention to them before, but I had time to stop and stare.

Mostly, there were pictures of the guys. Pictures of them playing around, on the beach, or just them hugging each other.

There were a couple pictures of Emily and Johnny hugging and kissing.

I, even, managed to see some pictures of all of us, while we were in high school. I didn't remember taking half of these pictures though.

There were some pictures where you could tell that I had no clue I was being documented.

The last pictures were ones from my childhood.

My mom, Emily, and I all bunched up for a family picture. Of course, my dad managed to get out of being in it, and I was happy that he did. I didn't want to see his face ever again.

I walked back to my own little room.

Zacky was still snoring, and the sun was managing to shine through the white curtains. I could hear birds chirping and singing, and the wind was blowing slightly.

I sighed.

Why was the world able to carry on like this? It acted as if nothing had happened the day before. Why couldn't it be raining, hailing?

To match how Emily and I were feeling, terrible.

I knew a funeral had to be coming up pretty soon, and I almost didn't want to go. I didn't want to see my mom's face.

Not like that, not for the last time. I just wanted to remember her how I last saw her.

Her long curly brown hair falling into her face every now and then. Her bright hazel eyes shining, and her laugh was loud and charming. It could fill an entire room by itself, and it made me laugh without her saying a word.

"You should've woke me up."

"You can go back to sleep, Zacky. I don't need to be watched like a little kid," I whispered. He chuckled lightly.

"Of course you're not a kid. A kid would be a lot easier to deal with," he said. I felt a smile creep onto my face.

"Don't make me happy," I said. "I was't trying to. I'm just so funny that you can't help yourself," he said.

I turned to face him. I hit him lightly on the arm.

"'Do you have to be so full of yourself?" I asked.

He nodded. I sighed, while shaking my head. He wasn't suppose to make me happy so easily.

I was suppose to be mourning, mourning for a very long time. In a depression that no one was suppose to break me out of.

"Do you wanna do something, anything?" Zacky asked. I thought about it for a while.

Everything I thought of was so stupid, so useless to myself.

"Could you go get me junk food?" I asked. He nodded.

"C'mon, we'll get lots of unhealthy junk for you to eat," he said.

He grabbed my hand, and I followed his every step.