Second Heartbeat

I sighed deeply.

This was it. I couldn't believe that this was it. I was going to end it all with a razor in the bathroom of my tiny apartment.

I didn't even write a note for anyone to read, as they found my lifeless body.

I sucked in a large amount of oxygen, as I lowered the razor to my skin. It had become so pale recently. The hot Texan sun did nothing for my skin. It didn't help me keep my old tanned skin.

I shivered as I slowly skimmed the metal against my skin. I guess I had to press a lot harder than that to break the skin. My skin only looked like it was barely scratched.

I chuckled nervously as I pressed the metal onto my skin again.

I jumped up as I heard my phone ring.

I cursed as I looked down at my wrist. I actually made a cut. It was small, but it was big enough to have blood trickling down my arm.

I smiled softly.

I felt a small release in my body as the blood continued to go down, hitting the ground. I opened the bathroom door, and I picked up my phone.

"Hello?" I asked.

A small smile was on my face, and it was bitterly sweet for me.

"Emma, it's me," a voice said.

My smile vanished from my face. The room seemed even more silent than it was before.

"Zacky?" I said slowly. "Yeah, I was just wondering what you were up to." He said.

His voice was so happy, like a child's. It was soft and caring, and his voice managed to make me feel so guilty. What had I done?

"So what are you doing right now?" He asked.

I almost wanted to confess to him. I wanted to pour my soul to him. I almost wanted to hold him tight, to let my tears drench his shirt.

"Nothing," I quickly lied. "Oh," he said.

It was suddenly silent, and I was scared. I wasn't exactly sure what to do or say. I was second guessing myself, and I didn't know what I was doing anymore.

"Zacky?" I said slowly.

I wasn't even sure what I was doing at this point. I just wanted to be with him, with anyone.

"Emma, is something wrong? You sound scared," Zacky said. I frowned.

He was way too observant of me.

"Zacky, I've done something so terrible," I whispered.

The phone call was silent and surprisingly scary for me.

"Emma, what did you do?"

His voice almost reminded me of a therapist. I usually hated, whenever someone had that type of voice. It always managed to make me feel so unprotected, like I'd spill my heart out to them in minutes.

"Zacky, I can't do this anymore," I whispered. I could feel the tears dripping from my face now.

"Emma, what's wrong? Emma, please tell me!" He yelled.

I dropped the phone, and I dug my face into my hands. What was wrong with me?

I could still hear Zacky shouting at me from the phone, as I curled up into a ball on the ground.

I was so stupid.