Second Heartbeat

I sighed as I sat down next to Zacky outside.

We were on the lawn, and the cool grass felt nice on my skin. The wind was flowing through my hair, and I sighed again.

"You happy?" Zacky asked.

I nodded.

"I like being out here a lot more than being with Jimmy and Clem right now," I said. "I do too. Not so sure why you stayed there as long as you did though," Zacky said chuckling.

I shrugged.

"I'm not even sure why, Zacky. They both just started yelling, and I couldn't decide if I wanted to argue with them or if I wanted to run away," I said softly.

"I think the choice should've been obvious," Zacky said chuckling some more.

It was quiet after that.

I couldn't think of anything to say to him. I wasn't even sure what the hell we were anymore!

I started to twirl my hair with my finger.

I wasn't sure what to do right now. Should I just go back into the house? I'm sure Emily and Johnny would be easier to talk to right now.

"Emma, why aren't you looking at me?"

I couldn't answer that.

I wasn't looking at him because I was too damn nervous to look at him. If I looked at him, would I break down and tell him everything?

"Emma, look at me."

I couldn't.

I knew I would tell him everything. I knew I would end up saying that I still loved him. I knew I would be tempted to grab his face and pressed my lips on his own.

"Emma, please."

What if he didn't feel the same way I did? What if it was just a spur of the moment kind of thing for Zacky? So he really didn't feel anything for me at all?

"Damn it, Emma! Look at me!"

I slowly looked up at Zacky.

His bright green eyes were piercing into me. He looked angry, and it scared me. I wasn't exactly sure what Zacky would do, if he was angry.

"Emma, why was that so damn hard?"

I wasn't sure.

Maybe it was just the fear of rejection, but could he really reject me with a look? Or was I just kidding myself?

"Why aren't you answering me?"

Why wasn't I answering him? Was I that afraid of him rejecting me? I mean, we were friends, great friends before. Why couldn't that be enough for me?

Zacky should be enough for me.

"Emma."

I frowned.

Zacky didn't look angry anymore. Instead, there was a look of sadness. I knew it was all my fault too. I shouldn't have been so damn difficult.

Why was I so damn difficult?