Breathe Easy

Jack liked being on tour. He liked playing the shows, he liked touring the world, he liked talking to the fans in his free time. He also liked being on the bus – or more specifically, being on the bus alone. His favourite part of the whole touring experience was getting up at four in the morning (like he did every day), going into the main part of the bus, getting his laptop in silence and talking to the fans.

He settled himself down on the sofa in his pyjamas; a nice outfit consisting of an old t-shirt and some stripy pyjama bottoms. His laptop loaded up and he opened his fake MSN account. It wasn't actually fake – it was the one all the fans knew about. On his real MSN, he only talked to his actual friends, but on the fake one he'd start a conversation with anybody who wanted to talk to him. The four hours in the morning when no-one else on the bus was awake was usually filled with slow conversations with hyperventilating fangirls; and he wouldn't want it any other way.

As soon as he signed in, a flood of flashing windows popped up, each one containing the same sort of comment:

'OMG, hi jack! I luv ATL, plz talk 2 me!'

Jack was always incredibly patient with the fans, so it took him ages to reply to all the windows with a comment that meant something and made sense. To his knowledge, the chats made their days – and he loved it when people were happy, especially if he caused it.

He heard a noise from the bunk area as he wrote replies, but his brain, concentrating on the fan's comments, ignored it. The many conversations always tended to go in the same direction – hey Jack, I love your band, how are you, what are you doing, where are you, when are you coming to *insert town name here*, will you turn on your web cam, I think you're hot, I gotta go now, bye. The whole process was so familiar he'd stopped noticing that the chats took that route all the time.

'wheres alex? can i tlk 2 him?'

He knew the answer to that one off by heart.

'He's asleep right now, in the bunks. He doesn't love me enough to wake up early.'

'lol, he does luv u!'

'Aww, nah, I don't think so.'

As he sent the message, the door to the bunks opened, revealing a very bleary Alex in just his boxer shorts. He mumbled something incoherent as he entered the room and walked slowly over to Jack, rubbing his eyes. Jack felt his chest tighten at the sight.

"Hey Zandy, what's up?" Jack asked softly as Alex sat down on the sofa next to him. As soon as he felt Jack next to him, he pressed up as close to him as he possibly could, resting his head on Jack's shoulder and pulling his knees up to his chest. Jack instinctively put his arm around the boy to keep him warm, but shook him gently to prompt an answer. Alex groaned softly and shut his eyes.

"So you came out of your warm bunk to sleep out here on me?" Jack knew how unpredictable Alex was, but even this seemed a little strange. Alex shifted slightly to get his body closer to Jack's, and mumbled a reply.

"You weren't in your bunk and you're nice so I found you and I'm tired…" he yawned, and grabbed Jack's shirt – the universally recognized 'Alex' sign for 'shut up I'm sleeping now'. Jack continued talking to the fans while Alex slept on him, the familiar conversations going round in their familiar circles. Then he saw the repeated comment he'd always ignored.

plz turn on ur web cam jack!'

He usually replied with some boring excuse like 'Sorry, my computer's running slowly. Maybe later, yeah?', but this time, he felt the knot in his chest translated into an urge to share.

Hells yeah. I got something you guys might wanna see…'

He adjusted the laptop so the small built-in web cam would get a picture of everything they wanted to see, started a massive group chat with all the fans, and turned it on.

There was a silence for a few seconds as the fans comprehended the picture they had just been presented with. Then the comments came – mind-numbingly teenie comments, all consisting of various way to express the same thing.

Jack couldn't help smiling as he read the comments as they flashed up, people repeating themselves in an effort to be heard.

'Glad you like it! I'm enjoying it quite a bit too :)'

Jack glanced down at the boy's head on his shoulder. He knew how much he enjoyed being with Alex. Alex was fun. Alex was spontaneous. Alex was friendly. Alex was immature. Alex was talented. Alex was adorable. Alex was warm. Alex was affectionate. Alex was special. Alex was perfect.

And Jack was in love.

There was nothing he wanted more than to spend time with Alex – with or without clothes – and feed his craving. Alex being almost naked and asleep on him was enough to make his body seize up – turning on the web cam was a way to make the moment less private, less terrifying. When people were watching, he wouldn't dare do anything he desperately wanted to do to Alex.

As the comments slowed down, the fans confident that Jack had heard them, he turned off the web cam and shut down his laptop. He put it on the ledge behind the sofa to keep it safe, and tried to wake Alex. He didn't trust himself around Alex any more, so he was anxious to move somewhere 'safer'.

Instead of doing what was expected, Alex whined dismally and tried to stay asleep. Jack sighed and ruffled the boy's hair playfully.

"I wanna sleep," Alex groaned, batting pathetically at Jack's hand in his hair with his eyes squeezed shut, "why can't you let me sleep?"

"Because it's better to sleep in the bunks. Healthier, you could say." Jack escaped from under Alex successfully, jumping to his feet and letting Alex collapse onto the seat. He whined first, then opened his eyes to gaze drowsily up at Jack.

"I wanna sleep with you. You're my favourite." His words were still slurred, but he was slowly becoming functionally awake. Jack rolled his eyes to hide the fuzzy feeling he got when he heard those words from Alex.

"Go back to the bunks, Zander," he sighed, cursing himself for letting the chance go. Alex sat up, pouting. He knew that Jack always seemed to melt when he pouted at him. He threw in the 'sad eyes' for good measure, and watched Jack give in.

"Come on then, let's get this over with," he sighed, turning back to the bunks. Alex shook himself awake enough to get up and trail after him, feeling slightly confused and ever so rejected.

"You don't have to do it if you don't want to," he muttered, guilt entering the current mix of feelings and making his gaze drop to the floor. Jack sighed as he climbed into his bunk. Their voices had dropped to whispers now that they were around their band mates and crew.

"I don't mind. Whatever you want, Alex." Alex instantly followed him into the bunk when he heard what he'd said. The bunk only just big enough for to two of them, and that was what Jack both craved and avoided – being close to Alex. Jack pressed himself as close to the wall as he could, but Alex definitely wanted Jack pressed up against him instead, so that would definitely be what he got. He ignored all of Jack's attempts to keep a little space between them, and pressed their bodies together. He felt Jack's breathing fall into an irregular pattern when he rested his head innocently against his neck. His warm breath was directly on Jack's throat – a simple thing that made Jack's heart beat wildly enough for Alex to feel it against his own. Jack could only respond by putting his arm around Alex's waist in a way he hoped was casual. It most definitely wasn't, which made Alex laugh softly. He loved being in control. Having that kind of power over his best friend made him pleased in a horrible, sick way. But he couldn't stop teasing, no matter how hard he tried.

He grabbed fistfuls of Jack's shirt, and let his body switch onto 'stand by' mode. Jack wasn't so lucky. His body was having a total nervous breakdown, all because of the boy sleeping serenely with him. Just his presence was enough to make Jack feel weak, so that amount of contact was far too much for him to process in one go.

But as hard as he tried, he couldn't bring himself to push Alex away.

It took at least an hour before Jack's body loosened up enough to allow him to sleep with Alex pressed up next to him. His sleep was dreamless though, and he woke every few minutes to be confronted with his major crush of two years uncomfortably close to him. He tried ignoring it, but his mind couldn't stop noticing the breath on his neck, the rise and fall of the chest against his own. It took another agonizing hour before his body was able to tune out the boy next to him, but only because it had ran out of energy to function at all.

When he finally woke up four hours later, the boy who'd slept beside him had vanished. The clock on the wall told him it was now 11am, and from the voices outside the bunks, they had arrived at the next venue already. Jack was about to try and sleep some more, when he heard Jason, their tour manager, mention an interview. The possibility of an interview convinced Jack to get up instead. He swung himself out of the bunk and grabbed some hopefully clean clothes out of his bag. It took him all of thirty seconds to change, so he was soon in the main section of the bus searching for food.

"Where's Alex?" he asked the rest of his band as he found a box of Pop-Tarts he could eat.

"He went to find Pete. We've gotta go in half an hour, so he should be back by then," Zack answered, referring to the infamous Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy, one of the bands who'd invited them on tour with them. He grimaced as Jack neglected to warm up the pastry and ate it straight out of the packet.

"What?" Jack asked, mouth full, "I'm hungry."

"That's sick," Rian agreed with Zack, shaking his head disapprovingly. Jack scowled.

"Shut up. Just jealous," he retorted childishly, stuffing the rest of the Pop-Tart into his mouth and putting the box back where he found it. He wiped his hands on his black jeans inconspicuously, then joined the half of his band on the sofa. He was able to sit quietly with them for all of five seconds, before he got up, announcing, "Bored now, bye."

"Do whatever you want," Rian told him, grabbing the nearest remote and trying to switch on the small TV mounted on the wall while Jack slipped on his shoes, "just be back by twelve."

Jack saluted dorkishly before escaping off the bus. As soon as the fresh air hit his face, he realised how bad the bus smelt in comparison. Despite the sun being completely obvious in the sky, the air was cold enough for Jack to need the hoodie and baseball hat he'd pulled on earlier. He couldn't help but yawn as he tried to navigate his way around all the busses parked next to each other in the allocated venue parking lot. The restless night he'd had was really affecting him, and he found it hard to recognize the busses that he'd seen just the other day in the last venue they played. He staggered along the grey tarmac for what seemed like ages, searching for something to occupy him.

Boredom was a huge problem for him. It didn't affect the others much – Rian always had something to do because he planned ahead, Zack was content with just sitting around and doing nothing, and Alex always made some fun for himself if he got bored. Jack didn't do any of these things, mainly because he didn't know how. He was always the most entertained when he was with someone else.

As he tried to suppress yet another yawn, one of the bus doors opened, letting Gabe Saporta out into the weak sunshine. He instantly noticed Jack wondering around quietly, and called to him.

"¡Hola Jack!" Gabe's voice caught Jack off guard, so his initial response was to stare at the source of the sound, bewildered. Gabe laughed as he saw the look on the boy's face, and caught up with him quickly. As soon as he could, he pulled Jack into a hug.

"You alright dude? You look kinda off." Jack shook his head, and yawned again.

"Tired," he managed to mumble through the yawn. Gabe laughed and let go of the boy.

"Didya not get enough sleep with Alex?" he smirked, and Jack looked up at him, confused and slightly shocked. Gabe quickly explained, "Zack saw, told Ryland and I stole his phone to find out," he pulled a chunky Blackberry out of his pocket as evidence, and gave it to Jack. He instantly found the message in question.

'Dude, Alex & Jack look so cosy together. Must be the fashion these days.' Jack rolled his eyes dismissively and passed the phone back. Gabe stashed it in the pocket of his green hoodie carefully.

"So watcha doing out here?" Jack asked the question first, knowing that Gabe was just about to ask the same thing.

"I was gonna try and store the phones in Sisky's bunk," he pulled out a second bright blue phone and a third silver one, "because then I won't get in trouble for stealin'." he smiled like a toddler at his lame prank, then hid the phones back into his pockets.

"So, what are you doing, Jackington?" he asked, "Wanna come with?"

Jack shrugged, then nodded.

"I've got nothing better to do."

Gabe beckoned him to follow, and they walked up past All Time Low's bus down to the second last in the row. Gabe knocked professionally on the door, and it opened seconds later.

"Sup guys," Mike nodded, then stepped aside to let them in.

Once inside, Gabe asked in a low voice, "Which one is Sisky's bunk?"

Mike was all to happy to lead them quietly through the bus and into the bunk area.

"This one," he said, his finger touching the bright red curtain of the bottom bunk on the left. Gabe quickly pulled back the curtain and emptied his pockets out underneath Sisky's pillow. Satisfied that his job was finished, he and Jack left the bus, Mike following one step behind.

"What did you put there?" he asked after he'd gotten them off the bus and shut the door.

"Phones," Gabe answered, smiling widely, "Thanks a kajillion for letting us on."

Mike dismissed them tiredly, inputting the code to open the bus door and going back inside. Jack turned to Gabe and yawned again.

"That it? That's all you've got?" he criticized when he stopped yawning. Gabe shrugged.

"Yeah, right now I guess it is. Haven't you got an interview in, like, 2 minutes?"

"I dunno. Which bus is mine?"

Gabe laughed before pointing at the navy bus next to them. Jack nodded his thanks at Gabe sleepily, then opened the door to the bus. It was obviously the right bus – it smelt awful. Jason was waiting at the door for him.

"You're late," he sighed, "get out, let's go."

He stepped off the bus and the band followed instantly, Jack unintentionally falling into step with Alex.

"How late was I?" he asked, ignoring the stupid fuzzy feeling he got when Alex smiled at him.

"Ten minutes. Jason practically shat himself," he laughed, grabbing Jack's hand in his own and lacing their fingers together, "It was awesome."

Jack laughed convincingly despite the jittery feeling that accompanied Alex's touch. The rent-a-car they had to get in to travel to the interview was pretty small, so because Jason was driving, Rian got the front seat and Alex, Jack and Zack were crammed into the back – Jack and Zack at the windows and Alex in the middle.

'Geez,' Jack couldn't help but think as Alex leant against him and linked their arms together, 'this is going to be a long ride.'