I Can Not Tell a Lie But I Kind Of Have To
The PDA Couple
My slippery fingers struggled to find the right key and fit it in the hole. At last, the door clicked unlocked. I silently closed the door and slipped off my soggy shoes. Even my socks were wet. I looked around. No sign of anyone. Then again, my parents had never been the kind of people to stay up late. I tip-toed over to the stairs and lifted my foot onto the first step. A light clicked on behind. Ah. So close.
“Where in the hell have you been?” I heard Dad shout. I slowly turned around and saw Mom standing right beside him, her hands on her hips. Dad wore the same look he had when I told him I broke the garage door. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty.
“Um…” I didn’t know what to say. They looked at me expectedly. I opened my mouth and said, “Hi.” If my parents weren’t there, I would have slapped myself in the forehead.
“Hi,” my mother repeated. “Hi? That’s all you can say. You leave the house, not bothering to tell any of us, and come home in the middle of the night, drenched by the way, and expect us to accept, hi?”
“I’m assuming that would be rhetorical,” I said.
“You know what they say when you assume things,” I heard Sidney say. I looked the stairs. She was sitting at the top, with her video camera.
“Sidney!” I shouted, making a run at her. She scrambled to get up.
“Neil!” Dad shouted. I stopped halfway up the stairs and let her go.
“Are you aware that it’s three in the morning?” he asked me. I was, in fact, very much aware of the time. About an hour after Millie left me, she called my phone to make sure I hadn’t wrecked myself driving home in the rain.
“You’re still there!” she shouted exasperated when I said I hadn’t left. I hung up. Another hour passed and she called me again, saying that she was going to bed and that if I needed her, she wouldn’t pick up her phone. I hung up without a word. Much later, I had finally moved and was getting in my car. I was pulling out of the field when she called once more.
“I swear Neil,” she said, “if you’re still there, I’m going to shove my foot so far up your ass-”
“Relax,” I interrupted her. “I’m on my home now.”
“Good.” I drove, still on the phone with her, and listened to her rant.
“Millie, chill.”
“Chill? You want me to chill?”
“Fine. Continue ranting.” It was then that I heard someone on her side of the phone bang on a wall or door.
“Would you keep it down all ready? Its three in the morning!”
“Shut-up Ms. Smitt!” Millie shouted.
“Wait. Millie, did she say three?”
“Yeah. I must admit that it is a little late for me to be ranting but Ms. Smitt makes you look tolerable.” I hung up and sped toward home.
Now, I looked into Dad’s eyes and then quickly looked away again. Just like his mind, his eyes were a scary place to look inside.
“Where did you go?” mom asked.
“I, uh-” I did a few fake sneezes to buy me a few second to think.
“There’s this record store out of town. And the owner called me at like 5, saying they just got a new shipment and I should come down right away,” I quickly made up. Well, there was a record store outside town, and they do call me sometimes, but they would never get a new shipment on a Monday. “I finished my homework and then slipped out the back door. I’ve never had to tell you guys if I was going out before, so I didn’t. I hung out there for awhile, until closing. I didn’t realize how late it was.”
“When do they close?” Mom asked me.
“Around 11 but I offered to help them close up, seeing as they let me know about the new music and all,” I lied. “I finished up there about midnight and started driving home. But then I ran out of gas. I was going to call you guys but the rain ruined my cell phone.” This part, at least, was true. On my way into the house, I had dropped my phone into a puddle.
“The road that I got stranded on was deserted and there weren’t any pay phones nearby. I had to walk into town, buy some gas, and walk back to my car. By the time I got in my car again, it was almost three.” They looked at me for quite some time, their silent stares as sharp as swords.
“You expect us to believe that?” dad asked me. I nodded.
“Well, Brian,” Mom said, taking her lethal stare off of me. “This is the first time he’s ever come home later than 11. Sidney’s already broken her curfew four times.”
“I told you guys, that wasn’t my fault!” she remarked. My mom came to the bottom of the stares.
“Sidney Amanda Laxton!” my mom shrilled, and Sidney scurried away.
“Like I was saying Brian,” she continued. “He hasn’t really defied our rules before. And it’s not like he was with some girl all night.” Well, not all night.
“And by the time Sidney’s his age, we’re going to have to think back to the days of the good child,” she pointed out.
“Hey!” Sidney shouted insulted. My mom stormed up the stairs. I heard fast footsteps above me and a door slam. Dad still stood there silently, taking this all in.
“No more of that music shop for two weeks,” Dad said to me, pointing his finger at me. I nodded sincerely and watched him walk up the stairs. Wow. Millie was right. The more I lie, the better I get at it.
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“Attention students!” the PA system said. “The Sadie Hawkins Dance has been moved back a week.” A chorus of girls “awed” in unison.
“Last night’s rain storm has left the gymnasium with minor water damage, but it is enough damage that all gym classes have also been canceled.” Cheers and whoops went down the hallway.
“So, next Friday, the Sadie Hawkins Dance. That is all.” It clicked off, and Kyle, Eric, and Daniel walked over to me.
“So, when’s your date with Ashley?” Eric said, nudging Kyle. Kyle groaned and hit his head on my locker.
“Next Friday,” he said. We exchanged looks and burst out in laughter.
“She asked you?” Daniel said between laughs.
“Of course she did!” Kyle said, whipping around. “She thinks we’re getting married or something.”
“At least he has a date, unlike some people I know,” I said, shooting Eric and Daniel looks.
“Nope,” Eric said proudly. “Mary Stuart asked me.” Kyle, who had been taking a sip of water out of his water bottle, sprayed it all over him.
“What?” Daniel said shocked, as I patted the choking Kyle on the back.
“She’s actually decent! What was she thinking?” I said.
“Well, maybe she has a secret passion for smart, funny, intelligent guys,” Eric said, wiping the water off his face.
“Smart and intelligent are the same thing Einstein,” I said.
“Well maybe she just likes me,” Eric said.
“Why?” Daniel asked.
“You don’t have to have a reason for liking someone,” Eric said. “Look at you. You and Charlotte couldn’t be more opposite but she asked you and you couldn’t have said yes faster.”
“Charlotte?” Kyle exclaimed. “You, Daniel Marvin, who listened to a dare to bang your head up against the wall 20 times to see if you would pass out, and Charlotte “The Activist” Crabtree are going to the Sadie Hawkins Dance together?”
“The world must be coming to an end if you and Charlotte are going together,” I said, shaking my head.
“Let’s just hope it ends before next Friday,” Kyle said. “Then I won’t have to go with Ashely Clatterbux.”
“Don’t you mean Ashley Chatterbox?” Eric asked. Kyle wasn’t amused but we burst out in laughter as the bell rang. Luckily, the end of the day couldn’t have come sooner. Unluckily, I ran into Millie just before I made it to my car.
“Hey squirt!” she said, popping out of nowhere, as I put my keys in the door. So close.
“Hey Millie,” I said, unenthusiastically.
“So how hard did they get you?” she asked.
“What are you talking about?” I asked confused.
“Your parents.”
“They didn’t catch me,” I lied. She didn’t buy it for one second.
“Okay, two things,” she said, holding up two fingers. “One. You might be able to lie to your parents and get away with it, but I’m an expert. You will never be able to lie to me. Two. I saw your parents yelling at you when you came home.”
“Stalker!” I shouted.
“Seriously? You obviously keep forgetting I have powers too,” she said.
“Oh yeah,” I muttered. “If you saw it, how come you don’t know my punishment?”
“I just like to hear you say it,” she said smiling.
“You’re evil, you know that?” I put the key in the ignition and turned around to back out of my space.
“Hang on,” she said, putting her hand on my window. “So Trent keeps wondering why I’m hanging out with you, right?”
“Who?” I asked. She rolled her eyes.
“Trent! My boyfriend?” she reminded me.
“Oh right,” I said. “So?”
“So, I’m going to have to go a couple days without training you,” she said.
“Darn, what a shame?” I said sarcastically. She killed me with her gaze.
“Hey squirt, I said a few days,” she said. “But after this weekend, be ready for harder lessons. You’ve already proven to me that you can fly and can move junk with your mind. Now it’s time for the next level.”
“Why does that scare me?” I asked her. She laughed and walked away. I walked into the house, smelling freshly baked cookies.
“Yum,” I said, reaching for one. Mom popped up from behind a counter and slapped my hand away.
“No, your sister made those for Dean,” she said.
“Who’s Dean?” I asked.
“Her boyfriend,” she said.
“No, she’s dating David,” I said, shaking my head. “Dean was last month.”
“Oh right,” she said, getting an apple out of the refrigerator. “I can’t keep up with her. She’s quite the popular one, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, sure,” I said, absentmindedly.
“She thought she’d make them for David’s birthday tomorrow,” she said, slicing the apple. I nodded, stealing as sliced and biting into it. I wasn’t exactly sure how I liked having a fourteen-year old sister who’s had more boyfriends than birthdays. I hadn’t even gone out with Leah on a single date.
I left the room, with this in mind, and started dialing Leah’s number before I could tell my fingers to stop. I sat down on the couch as the phone rang once, twice, three times before someone picked up.
“Little residence,” said a deep voice.
“Um, may I speak to Leah?” I asked politely. “It’s Neil.”
“Oh, you’re the kid my little sis can’t stop talking about!” the person said laughing. “She’s totally stoked about the dance.”
“Oh yeah, so am I,” I said nodding, then stopped when I realized he couldn’t see it.
“Oh right, I’ll get her,” he said. He covered the phone with something because his call for Leah was muffled.
“Thanks, Andrew,” she said on the other side. “Hi Neil.”
“You have an older brother?” I asked, not even saying hello first. She laughed.
“Well, he’s older by about a minute,” she said. “We’re twins.”
“I had no clue you were a twin,” I said.
“Most people don’t,” she said. “We look alike and all but usually nobody makes the connection.”
“Oh cool,” I said. “So, I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite to eat sometime this week. You know, so we can get to know each other better before the dance.”
“Sounds good to me,” she said happily. Sidney walked into the room and made kissy faces at me. I threw a pillow at her, which she caught and pretended to make out with.
“Practicing for David?” I asked her. She immediately stopped and glared at me. Well, that can’t be good.
“Excuse me?” Leah asked.
“Uh, hang on,” I said, covering the phone with my hand. I jumped over the couch as Sidney chased me up the stairs and into my room. I slammed the door in her face and locked it.
“You can’t hide forever!” she shouted, storming away. I lifted the phone to my ear.
“Sorry, little sister,” I said.
“No problem,” she said. “So I’m assuming she’s going out with some guy named David?”
“Oh. Yeah, they’re kind of a PDA couple,” I shrugged. “Anyway, so where do you want to go?”
“Wow, you are the first guy to ever ask me what I wanted to do,” she said.
“Well, I am special,” I joked around. She giggled.
“How about Tuck’s?” she asked.
“Sounds great,” I said. “Friday? I’ll pick you up at 7?”
“Great,” she said. I could picture her twirling a ringlet around her finger. “See you tomorrow at school.”
“Kay, bye,” I said, hanging up. I fell back on the bed with a sigh. Just then there was a loud bang from downstairs.
“Sidney! What the hell!” my mom shouted. “Why did you shoot your father’s rifle at the ceiling?”
“I was aiming for Neil’s room,” I heard her mumble.
“No T.V. for a week,” my mom told her. Sidney didn’t argue, she knew better than that. Mom was very set in her ways.
“But how come Neil comes home four hours past curfew last night and he can’t go to some hole in the wall music shop for two weeks?” she asked. “The first time I came home past curfew, you grounded me for a month.”
“That’s because you were brought home by the police who found you and your friends tee-peeing a house,” my mom said. “Now go get the rest of the cookies out of the oven before they burn.” I laughed to myself remembering the look on their faces when Dad opened the door at one in the morning to find a police officer holding Sidney’s arm, the blue lights flashing behind them.
“Where in the hell have you been?” I heard Dad shout. I slowly turned around and saw Mom standing right beside him, her hands on her hips. Dad wore the same look he had when I told him I broke the garage door. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty.
“Um…” I didn’t know what to say. They looked at me expectedly. I opened my mouth and said, “Hi.” If my parents weren’t there, I would have slapped myself in the forehead.
“Hi,” my mother repeated. “Hi? That’s all you can say. You leave the house, not bothering to tell any of us, and come home in the middle of the night, drenched by the way, and expect us to accept, hi?”
“I’m assuming that would be rhetorical,” I said.
“You know what they say when you assume things,” I heard Sidney say. I looked the stairs. She was sitting at the top, with her video camera.
“Sidney!” I shouted, making a run at her. She scrambled to get up.
“Neil!” Dad shouted. I stopped halfway up the stairs and let her go.
“Are you aware that it’s three in the morning?” he asked me. I was, in fact, very much aware of the time. About an hour after Millie left me, she called my phone to make sure I hadn’t wrecked myself driving home in the rain.
“You’re still there!” she shouted exasperated when I said I hadn’t left. I hung up. Another hour passed and she called me again, saying that she was going to bed and that if I needed her, she wouldn’t pick up her phone. I hung up without a word. Much later, I had finally moved and was getting in my car. I was pulling out of the field when she called once more.
“I swear Neil,” she said, “if you’re still there, I’m going to shove my foot so far up your ass-”
“Relax,” I interrupted her. “I’m on my home now.”
“Good.” I drove, still on the phone with her, and listened to her rant.
“Millie, chill.”
“Chill? You want me to chill?”
“Fine. Continue ranting.” It was then that I heard someone on her side of the phone bang on a wall or door.
“Would you keep it down all ready? Its three in the morning!”
“Shut-up Ms. Smitt!” Millie shouted.
“Wait. Millie, did she say three?”
“Yeah. I must admit that it is a little late for me to be ranting but Ms. Smitt makes you look tolerable.” I hung up and sped toward home.
Now, I looked into Dad’s eyes and then quickly looked away again. Just like his mind, his eyes were a scary place to look inside.
“Where did you go?” mom asked.
“I, uh-” I did a few fake sneezes to buy me a few second to think.
“There’s this record store out of town. And the owner called me at like 5, saying they just got a new shipment and I should come down right away,” I quickly made up. Well, there was a record store outside town, and they do call me sometimes, but they would never get a new shipment on a Monday. “I finished my homework and then slipped out the back door. I’ve never had to tell you guys if I was going out before, so I didn’t. I hung out there for awhile, until closing. I didn’t realize how late it was.”
“When do they close?” Mom asked me.
“Around 11 but I offered to help them close up, seeing as they let me know about the new music and all,” I lied. “I finished up there about midnight and started driving home. But then I ran out of gas. I was going to call you guys but the rain ruined my cell phone.” This part, at least, was true. On my way into the house, I had dropped my phone into a puddle.
“The road that I got stranded on was deserted and there weren’t any pay phones nearby. I had to walk into town, buy some gas, and walk back to my car. By the time I got in my car again, it was almost three.” They looked at me for quite some time, their silent stares as sharp as swords.
“You expect us to believe that?” dad asked me. I nodded.
“Well, Brian,” Mom said, taking her lethal stare off of me. “This is the first time he’s ever come home later than 11. Sidney’s already broken her curfew four times.”
“I told you guys, that wasn’t my fault!” she remarked. My mom came to the bottom of the stares.
“Sidney Amanda Laxton!” my mom shrilled, and Sidney scurried away.
“Like I was saying Brian,” she continued. “He hasn’t really defied our rules before. And it’s not like he was with some girl all night.” Well, not all night.
“And by the time Sidney’s his age, we’re going to have to think back to the days of the good child,” she pointed out.
“Hey!” Sidney shouted insulted. My mom stormed up the stairs. I heard fast footsteps above me and a door slam. Dad still stood there silently, taking this all in.
“No more of that music shop for two weeks,” Dad said to me, pointing his finger at me. I nodded sincerely and watched him walk up the stairs. Wow. Millie was right. The more I lie, the better I get at it.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬_______________________________
“Attention students!” the PA system said. “The Sadie Hawkins Dance has been moved back a week.” A chorus of girls “awed” in unison.
“Last night’s rain storm has left the gymnasium with minor water damage, but it is enough damage that all gym classes have also been canceled.” Cheers and whoops went down the hallway.
“So, next Friday, the Sadie Hawkins Dance. That is all.” It clicked off, and Kyle, Eric, and Daniel walked over to me.
“So, when’s your date with Ashley?” Eric said, nudging Kyle. Kyle groaned and hit his head on my locker.
“Next Friday,” he said. We exchanged looks and burst out in laughter.
“She asked you?” Daniel said between laughs.
“Of course she did!” Kyle said, whipping around. “She thinks we’re getting married or something.”
“At least he has a date, unlike some people I know,” I said, shooting Eric and Daniel looks.
“Nope,” Eric said proudly. “Mary Stuart asked me.” Kyle, who had been taking a sip of water out of his water bottle, sprayed it all over him.
“What?” Daniel said shocked, as I patted the choking Kyle on the back.
“She’s actually decent! What was she thinking?” I said.
“Well, maybe she has a secret passion for smart, funny, intelligent guys,” Eric said, wiping the water off his face.
“Smart and intelligent are the same thing Einstein,” I said.
“Well maybe she just likes me,” Eric said.
“Why?” Daniel asked.
“You don’t have to have a reason for liking someone,” Eric said. “Look at you. You and Charlotte couldn’t be more opposite but she asked you and you couldn’t have said yes faster.”
“Charlotte?” Kyle exclaimed. “You, Daniel Marvin, who listened to a dare to bang your head up against the wall 20 times to see if you would pass out, and Charlotte “The Activist” Crabtree are going to the Sadie Hawkins Dance together?”
“The world must be coming to an end if you and Charlotte are going together,” I said, shaking my head.
“Let’s just hope it ends before next Friday,” Kyle said. “Then I won’t have to go with Ashely Clatterbux.”
“Don’t you mean Ashley Chatterbox?” Eric asked. Kyle wasn’t amused but we burst out in laughter as the bell rang. Luckily, the end of the day couldn’t have come sooner. Unluckily, I ran into Millie just before I made it to my car.
“Hey squirt!” she said, popping out of nowhere, as I put my keys in the door. So close.
“Hey Millie,” I said, unenthusiastically.
“So how hard did they get you?” she asked.
“What are you talking about?” I asked confused.
“Your parents.”
“They didn’t catch me,” I lied. She didn’t buy it for one second.
“Okay, two things,” she said, holding up two fingers. “One. You might be able to lie to your parents and get away with it, but I’m an expert. You will never be able to lie to me. Two. I saw your parents yelling at you when you came home.”
“Stalker!” I shouted.
“Seriously? You obviously keep forgetting I have powers too,” she said.
“Oh yeah,” I muttered. “If you saw it, how come you don’t know my punishment?”
“I just like to hear you say it,” she said smiling.
“You’re evil, you know that?” I put the key in the ignition and turned around to back out of my space.
“Hang on,” she said, putting her hand on my window. “So Trent keeps wondering why I’m hanging out with you, right?”
“Who?” I asked. She rolled her eyes.
“Trent! My boyfriend?” she reminded me.
“Oh right,” I said. “So?”
“So, I’m going to have to go a couple days without training you,” she said.
“Darn, what a shame?” I said sarcastically. She killed me with her gaze.
“Hey squirt, I said a few days,” she said. “But after this weekend, be ready for harder lessons. You’ve already proven to me that you can fly and can move junk with your mind. Now it’s time for the next level.”
“Why does that scare me?” I asked her. She laughed and walked away. I walked into the house, smelling freshly baked cookies.
“Yum,” I said, reaching for one. Mom popped up from behind a counter and slapped my hand away.
“No, your sister made those for Dean,” she said.
“Who’s Dean?” I asked.
“Her boyfriend,” she said.
“No, she’s dating David,” I said, shaking my head. “Dean was last month.”
“Oh right,” she said, getting an apple out of the refrigerator. “I can’t keep up with her. She’s quite the popular one, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, sure,” I said, absentmindedly.
“She thought she’d make them for David’s birthday tomorrow,” she said, slicing the apple. I nodded, stealing as sliced and biting into it. I wasn’t exactly sure how I liked having a fourteen-year old sister who’s had more boyfriends than birthdays. I hadn’t even gone out with Leah on a single date.
I left the room, with this in mind, and started dialing Leah’s number before I could tell my fingers to stop. I sat down on the couch as the phone rang once, twice, three times before someone picked up.
“Little residence,” said a deep voice.
“Um, may I speak to Leah?” I asked politely. “It’s Neil.”
“Oh, you’re the kid my little sis can’t stop talking about!” the person said laughing. “She’s totally stoked about the dance.”
“Oh yeah, so am I,” I said nodding, then stopped when I realized he couldn’t see it.
“Oh right, I’ll get her,” he said. He covered the phone with something because his call for Leah was muffled.
“Thanks, Andrew,” she said on the other side. “Hi Neil.”
“You have an older brother?” I asked, not even saying hello first. She laughed.
“Well, he’s older by about a minute,” she said. “We’re twins.”
“I had no clue you were a twin,” I said.
“Most people don’t,” she said. “We look alike and all but usually nobody makes the connection.”
“Oh cool,” I said. “So, I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite to eat sometime this week. You know, so we can get to know each other better before the dance.”
“Sounds good to me,” she said happily. Sidney walked into the room and made kissy faces at me. I threw a pillow at her, which she caught and pretended to make out with.
“Practicing for David?” I asked her. She immediately stopped and glared at me. Well, that can’t be good.
“Excuse me?” Leah asked.
“Uh, hang on,” I said, covering the phone with my hand. I jumped over the couch as Sidney chased me up the stairs and into my room. I slammed the door in her face and locked it.
“You can’t hide forever!” she shouted, storming away. I lifted the phone to my ear.
“Sorry, little sister,” I said.
“No problem,” she said. “So I’m assuming she’s going out with some guy named David?”
“Oh. Yeah, they’re kind of a PDA couple,” I shrugged. “Anyway, so where do you want to go?”
“Wow, you are the first guy to ever ask me what I wanted to do,” she said.
“Well, I am special,” I joked around. She giggled.
“How about Tuck’s?” she asked.
“Sounds great,” I said. “Friday? I’ll pick you up at 7?”
“Great,” she said. I could picture her twirling a ringlet around her finger. “See you tomorrow at school.”
“Kay, bye,” I said, hanging up. I fell back on the bed with a sigh. Just then there was a loud bang from downstairs.
“Sidney! What the hell!” my mom shouted. “Why did you shoot your father’s rifle at the ceiling?”
“I was aiming for Neil’s room,” I heard her mumble.
“No T.V. for a week,” my mom told her. Sidney didn’t argue, she knew better than that. Mom was very set in her ways.
“But how come Neil comes home four hours past curfew last night and he can’t go to some hole in the wall music shop for two weeks?” she asked. “The first time I came home past curfew, you grounded me for a month.”
“That’s because you were brought home by the police who found you and your friends tee-peeing a house,” my mom said. “Now go get the rest of the cookies out of the oven before they burn.” I laughed to myself remembering the look on their faces when Dad opened the door at one in the morning to find a police officer holding Sidney’s arm, the blue lights flashing behind them.
♠ ♠ ♠
Ok. I apologize for being so slow here. I got major, repeat MAJOR, writer’s block after that last chapter. Do you know what I did during my writer’s block? I ignored this story, I tried avoiding this story, and then I procrastinated and wrote the writing epidemic in my other story (which was like five or six long chapters) but I eventually forced myself to sit down and write a bunch of crappy chapters : )