I Can Not Tell a Lie But I Kind Of Have To

Okay Then

“Attention students! I am pleased to announce that this years Sadie Hawkins Dance will be held in the gymnasium next Friday. So girls, get up the courage to ask the one special guy before all the good ones are taken!” Every girl in the hallway screamed before rushing to the bathroom. Once the door to the bathroom closed, every guy in the hallway rushed to the door and pressed their ears to it.

“Um…” Kyle trailed off. “What’s going on?”

“All the girls in the bathroom are talking about who they’re taking to the Sadie Hawkins,” Mike told him. “Hey Donnie, I think Ally said she’s going to ask you.”

“Alright!” Donnie shouted standing up. “Oh I just heard Mary Stuart say she’ll ask Mark.”

“No, I think she said Clark,” Eric said, now pressing his own ear to the door.

“Eric!” I shouted. “How shallow can you guys get! You are pressing your heads to the door of the girls’ bathroom to see who’s going with who to a dance, which most of us hate to go to anyway.”

“You know he is right,” Daniel pointed out.

“Thank you!”

“Hey Daniel!” Mark shouted. “Donna said she might ask you!”

“Yes! She is so hot!”

“And who’s lucky enough to get asked by Ashley?” Kyle asked. Then, all the guys who were listening to the girls burst out in laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Kyle asked.

“She’s asking you!” Daniel shouted.

“Aw crap!” Kyle said, slamming his locker closed.

“Oooh ooh!” Charlie said excitedly. “Now I hear two girls fighting over the same guy.”

“Who?” I asked.

“It sounds like Debra and Leah are fighting over… you Neil,” Charlie said. “Personally, I would say yes to Leah over Debra. Debra’s a whack job.”

“But she’s way hotter than Leah,” Mike stated. They all agreed.

“Well, it all just depends on who asks him first,” Donnie said as the bell rang. The guys jumped away from the door right as it swung open. I quickly ran to my first class, trying get away from Debra if she did happen to ask me first.

I succeeded in avoiding Debra all day. Unfortunately, I didn’t see Leah all day either. I walked to my car, pulling my hood on as it started to rain. I unlocked the door, pulling hard when it wouldn’t open, and climbed in. I slung my backpack in the back seat.

“Ow!”

“Millie!”

“Watch where you fling your backpack next time!” she shouted.

“What are you doing here!”

“We need to talk.”

“And you couldn’t do that during the four classes I have with you!”

“About a super subject Neil!” she said frustrated. “I couldn’t exactly bring that up around everybody at school.”

“Okay, fine,” I settled. “What do you want?”

“Training day today!” she said happily.

“We already trained this morning,” I said pointedly. “And now my dad thinks I’m an idiot.”

“He already thought that before I threw your keys in his room,” she said. “But that’s not the point. Now we’re going to work on your telepathic powers.” I looked out the window and saw Leah walking over to my car.

“Millie!” I shouted. “Quick! Hide under that blanket and don’t make a noise!” Surprisingly, she listened to me.

“The things I do for you,” she muttered.

“Shh!” I said to her. “Here she comes.” Just then, Debra saw Leah from across the parking lot and started walking towards my car too. Leah saw her and picked up the pace.

“What’s happening?” Millie whispered.

“Leah and Debra are racing towards my car,” I said, slightly confused. The next thing I know they’re sprinting towards my car.

“Oh my god!”

“What! What’s going on?” Leah beat Debra to my car by a second. I rolled down my window.

“I’m just going to ask you this before someone else does,” she blurted out, looking over at Debra. “Do you want to go to the Sadie Hawkins with me?”

“Yes, I would love to,” I said, right as Debra arrived at my window. Leah smiled at me, and Debra burst into tears.

“Back up ladies,” I said to them, “or else I might run over you.” Debra ran across the parking lot wailing. Leah took a few steps back, still smiling. Once I was out of the parking lot, Millie popped up.

“Oh my god!” she said, holding her hands to her heart. “That was so cute!” I blushed as she climbed over and sat in the passenger seat.

“So who are you going to ask?” I asked her.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I kind of think that dances are huge stereotypes.”

“And hiding your superpowers definitely isn’t a stereotype,” I said pointedly.

“Just another reason I don’t want to go to the stereotype dance,” she said. “Super heroes already give in to too many stereotypes.”

“Like what?”

“We have a nemesis, FACA, we hide HQ, we don’t reveal ourselves to the public,” she listed. “You get the point.”

“Well, technically, superheroes in movies don’t work together, they don’t have just one nemesis,” I said, “they wear capes, they have a weakness--”

“Oh, we have weaknesses too,” she said grimly.

“Oh yeah? What’s yours?”

“Can’t tell you,” she said. “There could be someone watching us.”

“Come on,” I pleaded. “You know mine.”

“They can’t use your dad as a weak point Neil,” she said. “Trust me. No villain can act as harsh as your dad.” I pulled into my driveway and got out of the car.

“Just keep the whole powers thing shush here,” I said, unlocking the door. “My family doesn’t know anything.” I opened the door to the smell of something sweet baking.

“Hi sweetheart,” my mom said, running her hands under the sink. “How was school?”

“Mom, this is Millie,” I said, pointing to her. Mom looked up and dried her hands. “We’re working on a school project together.” Millie held out her hand.

“Nice to meet you Mrs. Laxton,” Millie said politely. If I hadn’t been trying to lie, I would have burst out in laughter. That was the first time I had ever seen Millie be nice or have manners of any kind.

“Have a seat,” she said. “Tell me about school.”

“Well, the Sadie Hawkins Dance is next Friday,” Millie started. I could see where this was going. “And our little Neil got himself a date already,” she said, pinching my cheeks.

“Oh Neil! That’s great!” Mom cheered. “Who asked you?”

“Leah Little.”

“Oh, she’s so darling,” Mom said, bending over to take something out of the oven.

“So what are you baking?” Millie asked.

“Apple pie,” Mom said, pulling it out of the oven and setting it on the counter. “Want a piece?”

“Sure,” Millie accepted. I watched silently as Mom sliced a piece, put it on a plate, and slid it in front of Millie.

“Neil, do you want a piece?” Mom eventually asked me.

“Oh-no,” I said. “What’s wrong?” She sliced a piece anyway and gave it to me.

“Nothing’s wrong,” she said. “Why would you ask that?”

“Well,” I said, taking a bite of the delicious pie. “You made apple pie when my first goldfish, Timmy, died. You made apple pie when you told Dad that you broke his favorite wrench. You made apple pie when you said that we couldn’t go to the Grande Canyon because we had to use the money for Sidney’s braces. You made--”

“I get the point,” she said. “But there is no bad news.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

“Good.” She poured a glass of chocolate milk and slid it across the countertop.

“Here you go,” she said.

“Mom! Every time you feed us apple pie and chocolate milk, the news is really bad,” I said.

“Like when?”

“Like when you told me you were going to have a girl and not a boy!” I shouted, pointing to Sidney as she walked in the kitchen and grabbed a drink from the fridge.

“I know the bad news,” she said excitedly.

“What brace-face?”

“You know you’re car,” she said.

“Um, the thing I drive to school every morning? Yeah, I think so.”

“Dad is selling it tomorrow,” she said evilly.

“Ha ha,” I said, making a funny face at her. She replied by shooting a rubber band at my head.

“Ow!” I said, rubbing my forehead.

“Mom! She shot a rubber band at me!”

“Well he looked at me!” Sidney shouted. Mom sighed and poured a cup of coffee.

“Honestly, you two have been this way since the day that Sidney was born,” she said. “I can’t even remember what the house to be like before then.”

“Those were the days,” I said happily. Sidney shot another rubber band at me.

“Mom!”

“I know! I saw it,” she said, getting irritated with us.

“Wow, your family’s great,” Millie said to Sidney and me. “All my family does is sit in front of the TV and argue over whose turn it is to feed the cat.”

“But mom,” I said. “Seriously. What’s wrong?”

“I told you dumb ass,” Sidney said, “they’re selling your car.”

“Sidney, I’m eating apple pie and chocolate milk,” I said, pointing to the food in front of me.

“Alright mom,” she said, “the gig is up. What’s the matter?”

“Okay, you need to agree to the conditions before I tell you,” she said. Wow. This must be really serious.

“You need to let me tell your father,” she said. “He doesn’t know yet.” We nodded. I picked up my full glass of milk and epty plate and carried it over to the sink.

“I’m pregnant,” she said quickly. The glass slipped out of my hand and shattered on the ground, spilling the milk. I heard Sidney gasp. We stood there in complete silence for a full two minutes.

“Okay,” Millie said slowly. “Bye.” She left closed the kitchen door before opening it and poking her head back in.

“We’ll work on the project later,” she said to me. I nodded slowly and she left again.

“When did this happen!” I shouted.

“You remember three weeks ago when you were at the football game and Sidney was on a date with David?” she questioned.

“Ew gross!” Sidney yelled in disgust.

“So that’s what you guys meant by ‘we’ve had a busy night’?” I asked. “That is sick and nasty in so many different ways.”

“Dad doesn’t know?” Sidney asked.

“No, I don’t think he has a clue,” she said. Right on cue, Dad walked through the door. He took his coat off. He set down his brief case. We stared silently at him, and he looked up. He stopped dead in his tracks.

“What?” he asked, staring cautiously at us. Sidney and I took the opportunity to leave the room. We pressed our ears up against the wood of the door. We heard mom talking quietly and calmly and then she said the “p” word. Then nothing. We heard no reaction. We could have sworn Dad would freak out and yell or something.

After a few moments, he shouted, “crap” and then we heard the door close. We walked back into the kitchen and saw mom washing the dishes.

“Mom, are you okay?” I asked.

“Oh yeah,” she said.

“What about dad?” Sidney asked.

“Oh, he’s just going fishing,” she said. “He did that when I told him I was pregnant with you two. He’ll eventually stagger in around midnight tonight, and then forget I’m pregnant until my stomach gets huge.”

“Okay then,” Sidney and I said in unison. Man, this family’s strange.
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hey! sorry i had to repost this chapter but i couldn't really do an author's note chapter because of all the new rules and stuff. but here goes: my internet on my laptop and home computer sux big time so if you don't ever hear from me again, its cuz i've thrown my computer into a fire. but really, that's why i might not have chapter updates for a while :( once again,I based the first part of the chapter (the bathroom scene) off of the first few lyrics of "Sadie Hawkins Dance" by Relient K, which is basically my all time favorite song. comment,