Super Avenged

I stood beneath the hot shower spray, letting the water wash serenely over my body. It felt relaxing and soothing, and I could’ve stood under there for hours, just letting the water droplets tumble down my body. But, alas, I could not and therefore I had to climb out of the shower. I wrapped a soft purple towel around my body and stood in front of the mirror to comb my chestnut hair out.

It was the next evening, and I spent the entire day at Central Park. I took my camera and my sketch book this time, though. I sketched an abandoned Frisbee hanging hopefully out of the top of an overflowing trash can. I took a picture of my shadow silhouetted against the rough bark of a tree trunk. I just lounged in the park all day, taking a break only to eat lunch and dinner. And then, once it started getting dark, I made my way back home before night fell.

I finished combing my shoulder-length hair and slipped the towel away from my body. I slipped on my undergarments, a plain green tank top, and a pair of black pajama sleeping shorts. I hung my towel up on the shower and stepped out of the bathroom.

I emerged from the bathroom into the living room. Everything—the three bedrooms, the bathroom, the laundry room, the kitchen—led off of the living room. I just so happened to glance over to the sliding door that led out onto the balcony. I was up high enough that I could actually see Central Park from my balcony, so it was nice to have. And sometimes I would take an easel out there and paint the sun rise.

But I happened to glance over and froze at what I saw. There stood Jimmy, grinning to beat the band and waving at me through the sliding door. I frowned and walked over, unlocking the door and sliding it open.

“Hey, Miya,” Jimmy greeted, stepping into the room. I just gaped at him and slid the door shut.

“What...How...How in the hell did you get up here?” I stammered, putting my hands on my hips.

“I stretched my legs, stepped onto your balcony, and then shrunk my legs to normal size again,” Jimmy explained calmly. His tone of voice suggested that he was simply explaining how he had saved a document on a computer. “Wow, this is quite a nice little place you have.”

“No matter about my place,” I snapped. “What are you doing here?”

“Well,” Jimmy replied uncertainly. He looked down and scuffed the sole of his shoe across the carpet. Slowly, he looked back up, and I noticed for the first time how light blue his eyes were. “If you really want to know, I was going to ask you to the movies.”

“No,” I answered, my face turning instantly to stone. “No, I will not go to the movies with you. No, I will not go on a date with you!”

“Well, why not?” Jimmy asked. “You can’t refuse something unless you’ve tried it! It’s like saying a food is nasty before you even eat it!”

“I do that all the time!” I snapped. “I’ve never had a taste of spinach in my life, and I never plan to, because I think it’s nasty.”

“Well, spinach is nasty,” Jimmy agreed, wrinkling his nose a bit. “I can agree with you on that. But going to the movies with me is far from eating spinach! Who knows? You might have a good time.”

“No,” I answered brusquely. “I will not go.”

“Please tell me why not,” Jimmy begged.

“Jimmy, there are three things I do not do,” I answered calmly. I began to lead him towards the door. “One,” I held up one finger, “I do not drink. Two,” I held up a second finger, “I do not smoke. And three,” I held up a third finger, “I do not date. Simple enough for you?”

“Why don’t you date?” Jimmy continued. I continued to herd him surreptitiously to the door.

“Because any member of the male race is just a penis attached to a brain,” I answered calmly. “And it doesn’t matter if the man comes in a pretty package, he’s still just a penis attached to a brain. And there’s nothing else to him.”

“Well, not all men are that way!” Jimmy exclaimed. “You can’t judge me like that!”

“Most men are like that, though,” I said. “And I can tell that you are too. I won’t change my mind just because of some hot shot superhero, either. I don’t date, and that’s final.”

“That’s completely unfair!” Jimmy exclaimed as I opened the front door. I pushed him into the hallway. He didn’t object.

“Yeah, well, deal with it,” I snapped before slamming the door in his face.