Cut

The next day I sit in Group, waiting for it to begin. I am, of course, thinking about Jenna.

Jessie: Nice to see you're feeling better, Emma.

What? Oh. Yeah. That.

Me:

Jessie tries to cheer all of us up but the truth is I think we are all broken beyond repair. That maybe, just maybe, a few of us will make it out fixed. I hope that I am one of those few. But more importantly I hope Jenna is one of those few.

Just then, the door opens and a women in a nurse's uniform rolls someone in on a wheelchair. Her name tag says: Jan.

Then I look at the person in the wheelchair. It is Jenna. Jenna!

She looks better, much better than before. Her face is more full of color, her hair looks to be a richer color even though it is thinning.

The nurse named Jan wheels her over so that she is sitting next to me.

Jessie: Everybody, this is Jenna's nurse, Jan. She will be helping Jenna get to all of the places she needs to go. Jenna, so glad to have you back.

What Jessie really means is that Jan will be keeping a watchful eye on Jenna. Everyone knows this but says nothing.

Jenna looks at me and smiles with tears in her eyes. I try and smile back but again am unsure of the end result.

I notice that Teddy is not here today. Where could he be?

Then, the door opens again.

Teddy emerges.

Teddy: Sorry I'm late.

He takes the seat where Jenna normally sat. This upsets me.

Jessie begins.

Jessie: Where should we start?

Silence.

Jessie: Emma. Would you like to tell us about your family?

Yeah that's right, Jessie. Poke the bear with the stick.

I sigh and give up.

Emma: I have a four-year-old brother; Ben.

Jessie smiles brightly like it is the best thing in the whole world.

Jessie: Really?

I raise my eyebrows at her.

Me: Yes.

Hannah speaks.

Hannah: Tell us about him.

Everybody suddenly looks very interested in hearing all about Ben and his four-year-old troubles.

Me: Well, uh, he likes to draw. He draws when he's sad. He draws a lot.

Jessie: Is he sad a lot?

Me: Yes. But lots of people are.

Jessie: Are you?

I think about this but not long.

I notice that Teddy is staring at me. My heart skips a beat but I go on.

Me: Yes. I'm sad a lot.

Jessie: Why, do you think you're sad so often?

There is a very long pause but everyone waits patiently.

Me: Because of Ben. Because of Mom and Dad.

The last part is hard to admit.

Me: Because of Rose.

Lilly speaks. Her voice is weak.

Lilly: Who's Rose?

Me: My friend.

Jessie: Why are you sad because of her?

Me: Because I thought she forgot me. But she didn't. I just thought that she did. She's a good friend, though.

Teddy: I bet.

His face is serious and I marvel at his perfection.

Then, he smiles. It is like a domino effect. First Teddy smiles, then Lilly, then Jessie, then Hannah, then Maura, then Jenna. Even Jan smiles at me.

There is a certain happiness in the room that I haven't felt in long time. And this feeling becomes even greater when I smile back at everybody.