Cut

Mom freaks out. She calls Dad just as I thought she would.

I lay in my bed as she tucks in Ben and tells him not to worry about me. I don't think that will stop him.

Mom comes into my room and sits at the end of my bed. Like last night her dark brown hair is pulled back into a messy bun but the rings around her eyes are darker. She is much more stressed than she usually is. She is usually stressed out with Ben. She is never stressed with me. We have this unspoken code in which I don't do anything wrong so that she can just take care of Ben and I take care of me.

I have broken the code.

Mom: Em, what were you thinking?

She sighs and I don't answer out loud.

What was I thinking? I was thinking that maybe this could be the one thing that could make it all better, that's what I was thinking. And guess what, Mom? I was wrong.

My mother speaks again after a long silence.

Mom: I called your father.

I know, I want to say.

Mom: We've both come to an agreement.

An agreement? My parents never agree on anything. At least not anymore. They used to be happy together. They used to smile and laugh and radiate happiness. Ben used to be happy. I used to be happy.

Mom: You need help, Emma. And that's why Daddy and I are....sending you to Royal Oaks House of Help.

Royal Oaks House of Help?! My parents were sending me to some house of circus freaks who needed mental care?! I didn't need mental care! I was fine.

Me: I'm not going.

Mom: It looks like a very nice place.

She sets a brochture down on my bed. I ignore it as she ignored my answer.

Me: I'm not going.

Mom: Emma, you need help. And Daddy and I....we just don't know any other way to help you.

I DO NOT NEED HELP AND I AM NOT GOING TO SOME HOUSE OF FREAKS!

Me: It sounds like an asylum.

Mom: Emma, stop. Pack up your things. Tommarrow your leaving.Your school will send over your homework at the end of each weekand we will visit you as often as we can.

Tears fills her eyes.
How long was I going to there? If I was going. Which I wasn't.
Me: I'm not going!

Mom leans over and kisses me on my forehead.

Me: I'm not going!

Mom: Look at the brochture. You may like there.

Finally, she tears stream down her eyes but she doesn't make a sound. She leaves.

Later that night, after Mom and Ben are asleep, I walk into the bathroom and close the door. Then I sit in my tub and curl up my knees.

I cry for a long time. I stare at my arm the whole time. All night, it seems. Then I get out of my tub and walk into my room.

I open up my closet door and pull out a bag. I set it on my bed and pull out lots of clothes to put into it.

I am packing for Royal Oaks.