This Is Not an After School Special

Josh handed me a nearly-overflowing cup, and I took a long drink. It tasted good, but it was bit stronger than what I was used to. Once he'd concocted a drink of his own, he took my free hand in his and began to lead me through the rest of the house.

He would stop occasionally to say hi to someone. Most of them were recognizeable as kids from my high school, but I rarely knew their names. In fact, sometimes I got the impression that Josh didn't even know them very well. He was just trying to be friendly.

We eventually reached the staircase that led to the second floor of the large house, and found that people were constantly filing up and down the stairs. Instead of following the crowd, Josh leaned casually against a wall.

"Having fun?" He asked, sipping the contents of his cup.

"Yeah, it's alright. I haven't seen Matt yet. I wonder if he's still coming."

"I'm sure he'll show up. Do you really believe that he would miss the opportunity to observe the way we act together in public?"

I laughed. "That's true." I took another sip from my drink. Suddenly, I got the overwhelming feeling that I was being watched. I glanced around and soon discovered a pair of unfamiliar eyes staring at me curiously from across the room. "Josh?" I asked, leaning a bit closer to him. "Do you know that guy?"

Josh followed my line of vision until he spotted who I meant. His eyes narrowed a bit. "No, I don't. Want me to tell him to fuck off?" There was something strange in Josh's tone. It seemed to take some effort to keep his voice casual.

"No, it's okay," I said. I really didn't want to start anything. Some guy staring really wasn't a big deal. I wondered why someone would choose to stare at me when I was standing with Josh. Wouldn't it seem obvious that we were there together?

I downed the rest of my drink in one large gulp. Josh gave me an odd, lopsided grin.

"I'm both impressed and shocked right now," he murmured, still gazing at me.

"Why? What did I do?" I asked, worrying that I'd done something wrong.

"Nothing. I just didn't expect you to be able to drink faster than me. I think it's time to do a shot, wouldn't you say?"

"Absolutely."

I hadn't been planning on getting too drunk that night, but Josh kept putting a new drink in my hand everytime I finished one. I could never seem to turn them away.

"I have to go use the bathroom," Josh told me as he gave me my fifth drink. He was staring somewhere over my head, no doubt trying to find the best path to the nearest toilet. "I'm sure Matt's here by now. You should go find him, and I'll come find you in a bit."

I nodded my head, feeling slightly numb. I stepped away from Josh as he headed in a different direction, and I began my search for my friend. The amount of people in the house seemed to have doubled at least since I'd arrived a couple of hours earlier. Even just walking across the room was a chore now. I had just reached the staircase and was about to begin the climb when I caught a glimpse of Matt.

I snorted when I took in his appearance. I fought my way through the small cluster of people that separated us and I nudged him to get his attention. Matt spun around, abandoning the pretty brunette that he'd been flirting with. He smiled when he saw me and gave me a hug. I was sure that he must have been drunk, but the alcohol in my cup had diminished my ability to smell it elsewhere.

I nodded my head toward the girl in greeting, then smiled at Matt. "Who's the girl? Is this who you ditched me for?"

The girl gave Matt an angry glare, causing me to begin to giggle.

"She's kidding," Matt told her hurriedly. "She's my best friend, that's it."

She folded her arms across her chest and gave Matt an accusing glare. "Guys and girls aren't just best friends," there was acid in her voice as she said the words.

"No, really, she's here with another guy," Matt rushed to explain.

"I don't see anyone," she pointed out.

"He's telling the truth," I said, trying to regain some element of peace. "Josh just went to find a bathroom, so I came to find Matt. He's all yours, I swear."

She still didn't seem convinced, and she tossed her long hair over her shoulder as she walked away.

"My bad," I apologized. "I really didn't mean for that to happen. But when we both have the same story, she should be more inclined to believe it. She must have been a bitch anyways. You're better off."

"You say that about every girl," Matt pointed out.

"And you say that about every guy," I countered.

"I didn't say it about Josh."

"There's always an exception to the rule."

"How are things going with him tonight?" Matt asked as we began to search for a place to sit down.

"Good, I guess. He's impressed with my drinking skills."

"Did you tell him that he has me to thank for that? I made you."

I rolled my eyes. "I didn't need your help. I would have fallen into this life with or without you."

"Hey, Matt!" Josh's voice called out from somewhere among the crowd.

Matt raised a hand and waved Josh over. We stopped walking and waited for Josh to catch up. The three of us headed outside, where the music was a bit quieter and we could talk more. I perched myself on the railing that ran around the front porch and set my drink down beside me.

"You look drunk," Josh noted, leaning against the railing next to me.

"I'm fine," I told him. "I'm that perfect kind of drunk where I'm happy about everything."

"And you let you guard down for just about anything," Matt added.

"Not for anything," I disagreed. "I still have some inhibitions."

"And you try to use big words because you think that you'll sound smart, and people won't think you're as drunk as you really are."

I paused, trying to come up with a good comeback. "Fuck off."

"Very original," Matt laughed.

"You guys are so weird together," Josh smiled. "You sound like you hate each other, but you're always laughing and having fun."

"You don't do that with your friends?" I cocked my head to one side. "We just make fun of each other a little bit, we never actually say anything too hurtful. We take ourselves pretty lightly."

"I can tell. It's nice to meet a girl who doesn't think of herself too highly."

"They're hard to find," I agreed, remembering the girl who had just stormed away from Matt inside the house.

"Yeah. But they can be a nuisance, too," Matt stared pointedly at me. "They can scare off the other ones."

I ignored him. "I need another drink."

"I got it this time," Matt said, taking my empty cup and reaching for Josh's as well. "I'll be back in a minute."

Once Matt was gone, I turned to Josh. "I think he approves of you."

Josh chuckled. "You think so? What makes you say that?"

"Because he hasn't said that I'm better off without you."

"Yet," Josh added, holding up a finger as though he was telling me that Matt would say it at any second.

"I don't think he ever will."

"Don't hold your breath."

"Sometimes I just don't understand you," I admitted. "I wish I did, but I don't. You go from being happy and excited one second to saying something mysterious and troubling the next. What's up with that?"

"I'm just trying to keep you guessing. Is it working?"

"Obviously."

Josh laughed. "Sorry. I'll try to keep it under wraps."

"You do that."

Josh heaved himself up onto the railing so he was sitting next to me. "Tell me something I don't know, Becky," he suggested lightly.

I pondered the request for a moment. "Did you know that, aside from Matt, I don't actually have any real friends?"

"What?" Josh's voice dripped with disbelief. "Who wouldn't want to be friends with the songbird of the cafeteria? I think you're lying to me."

"Well then you'd be wrong. When Matt's not around, they don't talk to me. I think they only tolerate me because they don't want him to hate them."

"Did you ever stop to think that it's you who doesn't talk to them? I mean, maybe you feel like you've got something so good with Matt that anything else is pointless."

I stared at him incredulously. "How the hell did you get to be so smart? And it's not that I don't want friends, it's just that... I don't know what it is, to be honest."

Josh shrugged. "I guess you don't have to worry about it anymore, regardless. You'll be in choir with Matt now, and you'll never have to eat lunch without him again."

"Yeah, that's true. But shouldn't I at least have some kind of desire to have another friend? Isn't that logical?"

"You've got me now."

"That's different. But thank you."

"Okay, I realised when I got to the kitchen that I didn't ask what you guys were drinking. So I poured a few different things. Pick whatever you want," Matt announced as he walked up, setting a few identical plastic cups along the railing. "Am I interrupting something?" He asked suddenly, noticing Josh and I sitting together.

"Nope," I said, grabbing a random cup and taking a drink. I spluttered and spit it out as soon as the acrid taste hit my tongue. "What the fuck is in there?"

"I have no idea," Matt smirked. "Try this one."

I took the cup from his hand and pressed it to my lips. This one was similar to whatever Josh had been feeding me earlier. "That's much better," I approved.

"What time is it, Matt?" Josh asked, accepting a cup of his own from Matt's outstretched hand.

"Um," Matt glanced at his wristwatch. "It's almost one. Why?"

"I honestly don't think she'll make it until two," Josh gestured toward me.

"Psh," I waved him off, swaying a bit on the thin railing. "You worry too much. I'm totally fine."

"It'll take you awhile to get her home if you're walking. She'll get distracted along the way. I would say that it might be a good time to start your journey," Matt advised.

Josh stood up and faced me. He placed both hands firmly on my waist and lifted me from the railing, planting me on my feet. As soon as he released me, I grabbed onto his arm to keep myself from falling. Matt grinned and gave me another hug.

"Call me tomorrow, Becky. I'd like to know that you made it home."

"Since when do you worry about me?"

"Since some other guy decided to take you home."

"Bye Matt," I waved as Josh began to lead me off the porch and down the front steps.

Josh's arm snaked around my waist and held me up as we walked. "You know, given the amount you just drank, you're doing surprisingly well."

"You sound shocked. I thought you would have figured out by now that I like to fend for myself."

"Then why are you letting me help you right now?"

"Because I like it when you help me. You're helping me sing, and now you're helping me walk. When do I get to help you?"

He seemed to hesitate. "I'll let you know."

"There's that mystery again," I noted.

"You caught me," he laughed.

We walked in silence for a while. The world was tipping on its side, and I marveled at how we were still walking. Rightfully, shouldn't we have been falling?

"So, what are we?" I asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?" Josh sounded patient, like he was caring for a child who was just learning to speak coherently.

"Are we drinking buddies? Or are you my second friend? Or are we something else? Forgive me, but I'm drunk and a little confused."

Josh slowed our already sluggish pace. I knew why immediately; I could see my house. The porch light had been left on. How long had we been walking? I felt like we'd just left the party a minute or two before.

"I think that we're whatever we want to be. Maybe we're all those things," Josh spoke softly. "Maybe we should have another date when we're both sober and go from there."

"I like that plan. So this doesn't have any third date rules, does it?"

"Third date rules?" he echoed. "What are you talking about?"

"Stupid Matt," I grumbled. "He got me all freaked out over nothing."

"Don't listen to Matt when it comes to you and me, okay?" Josh led me to my front door. "We're the only ones that know what's going on."

"But I just told you that I have no idea what's going on."

He ignored my argument. "Do you need me to take you to your room?"

I shook my head. "Believe me, you don't want my mother to see you taking me into my bedroom."

A grin played upon his lips. "This time I think I'll take your word for it. I'll call you tomorrow. We can try to figure out what we are then, okay?"

I stuck out my hand. "Shake on it," I ordered.

Josh laughed, and the sound was pleasant. He sounded happy, even though he was dealing with a stubborn drunk girl. He leaned in and kissed the uppermost part of my forehead. I was pretty sure that his top lip had been kissing my hair.

"Goodnight, Becky." He opened my door and gave me a gentle nudge.

"Night, Josh," I whispered back.