Unreachable Love

I got into the driver’s seat of my parents Volkswagen. It was very early on a Monday morning and there wasn’t anyone roaming out and about. The birds chirped noisily in the background. Ma walked up to the window so I rolled it down. She leaned her arms where the window disappeared to.

“You got everything you need?” she asked, speaking slowly.

“Yeah.” I nodded my head.

She looked at me longingly. “Oh, I’m gonna miss you so much.” Tears welled up in her eyes and soon there was salt water flowing down my cheeks too. I got out of the car and hugged her real hard. I didn’t want to let go. After a minute passed, with me still in her arms, I felt another pair wrap around us. Then another and one more. My whole family had come out to hug me good-bye. I’d never felt more loved than I did at that moment.

“I’m going to miss you guys a lot.” I whispered. My tears had slowed and now I felt sort of claustrophobic. “But, you need to let go eventually.”

One by one each pair of arms let go of me. I really would miss them. Everything came to me then.

“When will I see you again? When can you visit me? Will you call me every day? What—but—“ I didn’t want to leave now, but I knew it was the right thing to do. But in me somewhere a part of me whispered, “But it’s also wrong, and you know why.”

“Shh… Shh… It’ll be alright honey. We’ll work all that out later. Now, hurry. You better get there on time.” Ma calmed me down some.

“Okay.” I got in the car after I gave each of them a big hug, and each of them whispered something to me.

First I hugged my dad. “Don’t forget who you are.” He said.

Bethany said, “I’ll miss you Belly.”

Then, I hugged Ciara. “I wasn’t joking when I said I’d always been jealous of you.” That surprised me, but I moved on.

Then there was Ma. I hugged her real tight. She whispered to me, “You don’t have to go if you really don’t want to. Is this really what you want? Is this what your heart wants?” she knew I would miss Oliver. That’s why she kept asking me this. She also knew that I wasn’t going to this school because this is what I wanted. It was because I was running away. But I needed time on my own, to get myself back in order.

So that is why I lied to her. “Yes, Ma.”

I hopped in the car and drove off.

I knew that Oliver wouldn’t be where I was going. I knew I would miss him terribly. I knew that I would never be over him. I knew that I was deeply and sincerely in love with him.
I knew if he really loved me, he’d let me go. And he did love me. Truly, I knew he loved me the way I loved him.

But because he let me go, just like that, our love was unreachable.

Our unreachable love would always stay the way it should: Unreachable.