Unreachable Love

I think my audition for the part of Ivy went great. I really hope I get the part.

Mrs. Loomis tells me all the time how great at acting I am. I really don’t think I’m all that good at it but most people take her word for it. Most people have to, because she brags it around the whole town. She tells me I have a real talent there and I should pursue it. ‘Maybe get to go to one of them big cities one day.’ Her words not mine.

I don’t think that will every happen, and I told her so. She asked why.

I told her, “Can you actually see me up on one of those stages or on the big screen? Im plain. Ordinary. Nobody would be interested in someone like me. I’m invisible to everyone around me except you and my family. Nobody in this town knows there is anyone by the name of Belinda Dipman. And this is a small town for Pete’s sake!” (I did not dare say God’s name in vain)

Mrs. Loomis’s mouth hung wide open. She lectured me on how none of that mattered. It was my talent they were after. I guess she still didn’t get my point. I was invisible. No one was after me so therefore I couldn’t be found.

Besides, I wasn’t that interested in theatre. It was literature I was absorbed in. I lived and breathed it. My mother writes poetry and my father writes novels. My older brother is out of college and he passed all his old books down to me. He’s changing his course. We have a library filled with poetry books. Like Emily Dickinson, Shel Silverstein, Edgar Allen Poe, and Robert Frost. Some of my favorite. There’s even more books. Books my father published, books on becoming a writer (stuff my father used when he was just starting out), books on love, books on fantasy, books that are mysteries, and so much more.

Jennifer Donnely wrote a book called A Northern Light. I loved that book with all my heart and soul. It inspired me so much. Mathilda reminds me of me in a way. Except she knew everyone and they knew her where as I am known by no one. I cried when Miss Wilcox left. I felt Mattie’s pain. I felt Mattie’s happiness. I felt Mattie’s love. And I felt Mattie’s anger. I felt the will she had to do stuff, but decided to not for it would anger those around her. Mattie wanted to go to college and become a fantastic writer. She had that will too. She could have packed her things and left. She didn’t because she needed to stay and help the family. But in the end she left. That was the best moment in the book. Where she gave everyone a bit of money, gave Royal back his ring, and left to do what Miss Wilcox wanted her to do.

I wish I was like Mattie. But she’s just a character in a book. While I’m the one in real life having to deal with everything else. I wish my life was a book. It seems much easier.

---<3---

As I walked home from school I passes by the church and remembered the cast list was posted at two. I basically ran over to see if I got the part. I pressed my finger to the paper, took a deep breath, and started to scroll my finger down the list. But it didn’t go far, fore my name was at the top. Next to the part of Ivy Livingston. I skipped all the way home.