Unreachable Love

Of course I’d met him. I didn’t tell Mrs. Loomis that. I also didn’t tell her how that could never happen, for I was afraid of the outcome. He was just better off as my best friend, who he would play if I hadn’t opened my big mouth.

Actually, I guess I don’t have a big mouth. Never have, never will. Trevor just kind of set me off and I had to do something about it.

“Oliver Blu?” I’d asked. “No, I’m not sure I have.”

“Well, he’s very smart,” she said. I raised my eyebrows. Smart? “And he’s good at acting, just like you.”

Okay. That couldn’t be right. Oliver always acted like he didn’t know anyone could be smart.

Maybe that’s why he acted like that, because HE was actually intelligent. Acted. I said that he always ACTED like that. Acting. Mrs. Loomis said he was great at acting. Huh.

And now I’m here. I’m standing with Oliver, in the middle of the stage, in front of our peers, getting ready to have a kiss that might change everything. Or not.

Oliver spoke the most beautiful words I’d ever written and started to lean in. I did too. But then Trevor shouted, “Do they really have to kiss NOW? I mean, it’s a kiss that they don’t really technically have to do until dress rehearsal. So couldn’t they not do it?”

To me, Trevor seemed sort of jittery.

“You’re right, Mister Lenning. They shouldn’t have to go through with it now, if they really don’t want to? Do you?” Mrs. Loomis said.

Oliver looked at me and I saw a strange thing in his eyes, but we both shook our heads.

“Okay then. I guess we’re done here. Dismissed until tomorrow.”

Everyone walked out at once. Well, I stayed back as always, because I help Mrs. Loomis with organizing and such. Just for a little.

“Mrs. Loomis, what do you want me to do with these box—“ I turned around with a box in my hands to see Oliver looking at me. He’s still here, my head quietly whispered to me. But then I was suddenly whispering back to my head, I shouldn’t care.

I tried to ignore him and headed for Mrs. Loomis who was right behind him. Great.

As I got closer he said, “Hey Belinda.”

A chirp of a “hi” escaped my lips. I couldn’t help myself. I walked right past him though, without another word. But that was only because my lips were frozen.

“Hey, wait.” My feet forced me to turn around at his voice. “Do you think maybe we could go over lines some day this week?” He asked, his voice hopeful.

“Yeah, I guess I could arrange that. “

“Okay.” He said a smile tugging at his lips. “After your done here meet me outside and we can talk.”

I just nodded.

I turned back around and asked Mrs. Loomis the question I’d started before. She told me where to put them and I went back and forth, carrying each individual box, taking my time, hoping he wouldn’t be there after all the time I spent in here. While a small part of me wanted him to be there, I knew he wouldn’t. And part of me was glad.

When I was done, I said goodbye. I put on my jacket, for it was sure to be chilly out at this time. I stepped out of the church and saw Oliver sitting on my bench across the street.

I sighed and whispered, “I really wish he just would’ve gone home like any sane person.” I walked across the street but I didn’t sit down. “Listen, Oliver,” I said louder, “I’m sorry but I don’t think I’ll be able to practice lines with you.” I’d done a lot of thinking inside.

“What? Why not?” he asked anxiously.

“I just... can’t. I, I’m—“ and I just walked away. I couldn’t do this. That thing with Oliver. It’s too much for a girl like me to handle.

---<3---

When I stepped in the front door I heard loud shouts echoing off the walls. “You can’t just do this to me, Trevor! We were so close the other night, and now your BREAKING UP WITH ME!!! That can’t be right! We were meant to be together, everyone in our school knows it!!”

“Baby, baby listen…” I heard Trevor coo from the kitchen.

“No! I won’t listen! Get out, and get out now! And you better stay away from my sister.”

Trevor started walking towards the door and slipped past me barely muttering a “hi” to me. I was confused about the last part but other than that I got the jiff of what happened.

I went to comfort my sister. She was sitting at the counter with her face in her hands. Her mascara was noticeably running down her face from her tears. She looked up. “What do you want?” she snarled. “This is all your fault anyway.”

“What?!” I yelled. How could she blame this on me when I barely did anything? Actually, I didn’t do anything at all. I’ve kept out of her life since I was born. But she doesn’t keep out of mine. So see, it’s her own fault.

“Yeah. You heard me. Trevor said he saw you at the rehearsal and said it was friggin love at first sight. Stupid friggin bastard.” She muttered the last words.

I couldn’t believe my ears. So, really, it was my fault. I’d led Trevor on. A giggle escaped my lips. And then another. A few short seconds later I was on the floor cracking up. Ciara looked at me like I was so crazy. She kept asking what was so funny but I didn’t really have an answer she would understand. When I was done, and just lying there she asked it again, “What’s so funny?”

I tried to make her understand. “I’m an invisible freak, and,” I giggled, “I somehow got the hottest guy in school to like me.”