Milky's Way

“They’ve never been too protective of me, they’ve never really had to I guess. I wasn’t like them, and like my parents, they just let me do what I did, whatever that was. When I was a bit older and had trouble at school they helped me out sometimes, but that’s what they’re for. Growing up with them was normal I suppose. Me and my sister fought, me and my brother would go out and get into trouble. . . When I was little I was close to my brother, we used to do a lot together, and he never really minded having his kid sister hanging around with him and his friends. Back then he’d protect me and a lot of times he took the blame for things I’d done, so that I didn't get into trouble. I remember once . . . .”

Deep breath. My heart began to pound in my chest as it all started to come out.

“Once, he stood up to my mum. Something I’ve never done. She scared me a bit when I was little, and even now, there’s still that tiny bit of fear there. Anyway, this one time, the three of us were sat at the dinner table eating. My mum came out of the kitchen and started screaming at me, something that happened a lot at tea time. I . . .”

“What for?” Frazor asked.”What she shout at you for?”

“I was just getting to that.” I replied, giving him a cheeky smile. “I was a slow eater when I was a kid and for some reason it used to annoy the hell out of my mum, I don’t know why. That day she comes out of the kitchen and starts laying into me. I remember just eating, staring at my plate.

‘Leave her alone’ Pete’s voice interrupted her. It came from nowhere. I was shocked, but at the same time grateful.

‘Shut up! This has nothing to do with you. Sit down and eat your tea!’

‘No’ He stood up, you could see the anger in his eyes but also a tint of fear hidden there, facing her. ‘I’m fed of you always having a go at her. Always. I’m sick of it. Leave her alone!’

I’ll always remember what happened next, it was the first time I’d seen her that violent towards one of us. I’d heard it before, and seen the results on Pete or Clara, but I’d never witnessed it ‘til then”

In front of me Sara raised her hand.

“Erm...Yeah?” I’m guessing she had a question to ask.

“Did she never hit you? Your mum. She never hit you?” Her quiet voice asked. Me and Sara have never got on, I’ve tried to be nice, but there’s something about her, we don’t mix.

“No” Deep breath. “Not me. I always felt guilty about it though, I got into trouble more than the others so it seemed unfair that I never got it but. .

“Why not?” Sara interrupted, no raised hand this time. “Why not? Why them and not you?” She seems irritated.

“Honestly, I don’t know. I got into trouble like them, more than them even, so I probably deserved it.” At this she started to nod, she agreed with that, that I deserved it. “I think maybe it was because I was so close to my dad. He didn’t know about her beating us, well them. and if they told him she’d deny it. So, I think, me being close to him stopped her. I don’t know” I looked back at Sara to see if she was satisfied with my answer. It appeared not.

“What happened then? That day. What’d she do? Continue your story . . . Milky” She says my name in such a horrible way, like it hurts her to say it, as if it leaves a bad taste in her mouth.

“Um...my brother stood up for me. and my mum grabbed him, pinning him against the wall by his shoulders.

‘Don’t you ever speak to me like that again! You think you’re so hard yeah? Some sort of big man? Well you’re not! You’re nothing, you’re weak!

Then she threw him onto the floor.”

I could feel the tears filling up my eyes. No, don’t cry. Deep breathe. Why did I have to open my mouth and tell them all this. Why? Calm down. Deep breathe.

“She threw him onto the floor . . . and started to kick him, over and over again. Kicking him and hitting him all over.”

I felt sick as the words came out.

"Then she picked him up off the floor and pushed hi down into his seat.

‘Now eat your fucking tea!’ and then she disappeared into the kitchen.

Pete sat there, bloody nose and busted lip, hands shaking, tears falling down into his food. All because of me.

‘Sorry’ I whispered. He just stared at his food.”

My hands were shaking now, but at least I’d kept the tears from falling. Deep breathe.

Frazor smiled at me, “What about your sister?” he asked. “What was she like?”

I suppose that was his way of changing the subject.