The Only Place I've Touched You Is in My Sleep
Chapter 04
She got out of the shower around forty-five minutes later and got changed into her pyjamas.
She looked at herself in the mirror. Her neck was bruised in the place he had been biting and sucking, her eyes were lifeless and her cheeks were now red and puffy from the crying she had done whilst in the shower.
She stared at herself longer, not wanting to go downstairs, but almost needing to. To have that comfort of someone caring for you. Even if you didn't know that person. She just wanted to feel looked after.
She edged her way out of the bathroom and down the stairs where she found the man sitting at her table sipping at a cup of coffee.
"I hope you don't mind… But I helped myself to coffee also." He told her.
She shook her head in a 'no, that's fine' fashion and sat down opposite him, and drank her own coffee.
They sat there for a while, neither speaking. Neither even feeling the need to speak, until the man made the first noise. "Erm… what's your name, by the way?" He asked.
The girl pursed her lips. Did she want to tell him her name? Did she trust him enough? Telling him her name, would be like letting him cross that barrier that would allow him to get close to her. And she wasn't sure whether she wanted that yet, or if she did. She knew that eventually the two of them would get closer, just the way they acted around each other told her that. But she didn't know whether to allow him to get that little bit further just yet.
"I'm…. I'm Oli." She whispered, and began fingering the handle of her coffee mug.
"Oli?… Is that like, short for something?" He had asked as he watched her run her fingers up and down the handle, then around the brim. Probably out of nervousness.
"Oli…. Olivia." She told him and he nodded his head.
"Olivia, I like that." He smiled at her, and she gave a weak smile in response.
She wanted to know his name now. She had given him hers, she had allowed herself to take a giant leap into their forming friendship and she almost felt that he was inclined to now tell her what his was. Well, in honesty, he was inclined to tell her his. You ask for someone's name if you're not going to give yours back in reply.
"I'm Gerard." He informed her thoughts, she nodded yet again and moved her damp hair out of her eyes and behind her ears. Gerard noticed how beautiful her eyes really were now her hair was out of the way. Her hazel orbs mixed with so much feeling, so many different emotions. He couldn't even try to understand what all of them meant.
The shrill sound of the telephone going off snapped them both out of their thoughts. Olivia didn't answer. She didn't want to. Eventually the sound of the beep of the machine going off and then the voice of her best friend Audrey spoke; "hey girl, you left pretty quick! None of us knew where you went. Erm… we all missed you and hope you had a great birthday. Call me when you can. Bye babe, love you."
She sucked in a long, shaky breath as she thought back to the previous night.
"H-help." She had chocked out as he drove furiously into her. "H-help." She had sobbed.
"No…one's… gonna… come…" He had grunted back a reply to her plea and with one final thrust he spilt inside of her.
Tears leaked out of her night as she replayed this image over and over again in her head, she didn't even know if he had used a condom. He could have all kinds of diseases, she could be pregnant, for all she knows.
"Hey! What's wrong?" Gerard asked, and got up off his seat and moved closer to Olivia, as she cried silently.
She shook her head. Gerard didn't need to know. Gerard didn't want to know. He had no reason to. It was her own disgusting fault that had made her inferior to everyone else around her. If Gerard knew he'd leave, wouldn't he? If Gerard knew, he'd think she was this sick, disgusting excuse for a human being and bolt straight out of that door.
"It's obviously upset you, I just want to help." He continued to plead. He didn't understand why he wanted to know so badly. Why he wanted to help this girl so much. But he did. And it was driving him crazy, knowing that she would not open up to him. He didn't understand.
"I…" She thought for a minute. Was she really going to tell him? She hadn't even told her friends. Well, 'friends'. They weren't friends anymore, not after letting her be dragged out of that bar by some random stranger. Not after they let her be sexually attacked. No, they were no longer her friends. But would she tell Gerard? Did she trust him enough? She had known him, what, like 2 hours maximum. She didn't understand what it was. But she did feel the need to tell him. She just wasn't sure how to. Or when. Now just didn't seem like the right time. She didn't want to lose him just yet, not now she had only just met him. She wanted to get to know him, maybe just a bit more. And then, maybe when she knew he wouldn't judge her so much, she would tell him. Yes, that seemed like a plan to her. "It doesn't matter."
What did she mean it didn't matter! Gerard was shocked. She was crying, of course it mattered! If it had upset her, this much, resorting her to tears, then it mattered.
"Of course it does."
She shook her head, and luckily for her the phone rang again before Gerard could say anything more.
She picked up this time and pressed the hand piece to her ear. "H-hello?" She mumbled.
"Oh, you're back! I didn't know if you would be." The shrill call of Audrey met her ears and she grimaced.
"Yeah... I'm back." She spoke softly and sighed.
"Do you want to meet up tomorrow? We could celebrate your birthday again." Trust Audrey to want to celebrate. Party was all she ever wanted to do.
Oli however, wanted nothing to do with Alcohol or parties ever again. After last night, she didn't want to speak to anyone.
"Erm… I'm kinda busy. Another time." She replied quickly and placed the phone down before Audrey could interrogate into what her best friend was up to the next day.
Oli sat back down opposite Gerard and allowed more tears to flow from her eyes. She didn't know why she was still crying. She still felt the same as before, yes. But there was no reason to cry. She was going to move on. Eat alone. Sleep alone. Live alone. She didn't need anyone now. No one needed her.
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She looked at herself in the mirror. Her neck was bruised in the place he had been biting and sucking, her eyes were lifeless and her cheeks were now red and puffy from the crying she had done whilst in the shower.
She stared at herself longer, not wanting to go downstairs, but almost needing to. To have that comfort of someone caring for you. Even if you didn't know that person. She just wanted to feel looked after.
She edged her way out of the bathroom and down the stairs where she found the man sitting at her table sipping at a cup of coffee.
"I hope you don't mind… But I helped myself to coffee also." He told her.
She shook her head in a 'no, that's fine' fashion and sat down opposite him, and drank her own coffee.
They sat there for a while, neither speaking. Neither even feeling the need to speak, until the man made the first noise. "Erm… what's your name, by the way?" He asked.
The girl pursed her lips. Did she want to tell him her name? Did she trust him enough? Telling him her name, would be like letting him cross that barrier that would allow him to get close to her. And she wasn't sure whether she wanted that yet, or if she did. She knew that eventually the two of them would get closer, just the way they acted around each other told her that. But she didn't know whether to allow him to get that little bit further just yet.
"I'm…. I'm Oli." She whispered, and began fingering the handle of her coffee mug.
"Oli?… Is that like, short for something?" He had asked as he watched her run her fingers up and down the handle, then around the brim. Probably out of nervousness.
"Oli…. Olivia." She told him and he nodded his head.
"Olivia, I like that." He smiled at her, and she gave a weak smile in response.
She wanted to know his name now. She had given him hers, she had allowed herself to take a giant leap into their forming friendship and she almost felt that he was inclined to now tell her what his was. Well, in honesty, he was inclined to tell her his. You ask for someone's name if you're not going to give yours back in reply.
"I'm Gerard." He informed her thoughts, she nodded yet again and moved her damp hair out of her eyes and behind her ears. Gerard noticed how beautiful her eyes really were now her hair was out of the way. Her hazel orbs mixed with so much feeling, so many different emotions. He couldn't even try to understand what all of them meant.
The shrill sound of the telephone going off snapped them both out of their thoughts. Olivia didn't answer. She didn't want to. Eventually the sound of the beep of the machine going off and then the voice of her best friend Audrey spoke; "hey girl, you left pretty quick! None of us knew where you went. Erm… we all missed you and hope you had a great birthday. Call me when you can. Bye babe, love you."
She sucked in a long, shaky breath as she thought back to the previous night.
"H-help." She had chocked out as he drove furiously into her. "H-help." She had sobbed.
"No…one's… gonna… come…" He had grunted back a reply to her plea and with one final thrust he spilt inside of her.
Tears leaked out of her night as she replayed this image over and over again in her head, she didn't even know if he had used a condom. He could have all kinds of diseases, she could be pregnant, for all she knows.
"Hey! What's wrong?" Gerard asked, and got up off his seat and moved closer to Olivia, as she cried silently.
She shook her head. Gerard didn't need to know. Gerard didn't want to know. He had no reason to. It was her own disgusting fault that had made her inferior to everyone else around her. If Gerard knew he'd leave, wouldn't he? If Gerard knew, he'd think she was this sick, disgusting excuse for a human being and bolt straight out of that door.
"It's obviously upset you, I just want to help." He continued to plead. He didn't understand why he wanted to know so badly. Why he wanted to help this girl so much. But he did. And it was driving him crazy, knowing that she would not open up to him. He didn't understand.
"I…" She thought for a minute. Was she really going to tell him? She hadn't even told her friends. Well, 'friends'. They weren't friends anymore, not after letting her be dragged out of that bar by some random stranger. Not after they let her be sexually attacked. No, they were no longer her friends. But would she tell Gerard? Did she trust him enough? She had known him, what, like 2 hours maximum. She didn't understand what it was. But she did feel the need to tell him. She just wasn't sure how to. Or when. Now just didn't seem like the right time. She didn't want to lose him just yet, not now she had only just met him. She wanted to get to know him, maybe just a bit more. And then, maybe when she knew he wouldn't judge her so much, she would tell him. Yes, that seemed like a plan to her. "It doesn't matter."
What did she mean it didn't matter! Gerard was shocked. She was crying, of course it mattered! If it had upset her, this much, resorting her to tears, then it mattered.
"Of course it does."
She shook her head, and luckily for her the phone rang again before Gerard could say anything more.
She picked up this time and pressed the hand piece to her ear. "H-hello?" She mumbled.
"Oh, you're back! I didn't know if you would be." The shrill call of Audrey met her ears and she grimaced.
"Yeah... I'm back." She spoke softly and sighed.
"Do you want to meet up tomorrow? We could celebrate your birthday again." Trust Audrey to want to celebrate. Party was all she ever wanted to do.
Oli however, wanted nothing to do with Alcohol or parties ever again. After last night, she didn't want to speak to anyone.
"Erm… I'm kinda busy. Another time." She replied quickly and placed the phone down before Audrey could interrogate into what her best friend was up to the next day.
Oli sat back down opposite Gerard and allowed more tears to flow from her eyes. She didn't know why she was still crying. She still felt the same as before, yes. But there was no reason to cry. She was going to move on. Eat alone. Sleep alone. Live alone. She didn't need anyone now. No one needed her.
if you would like me to tell you when i do update, tell me - or you can just subscribe xD