Signed In Blood
Entry #21
I sit here with my composition notebook (the diary) and I begun to think, why didn't I start this years ago... I've started diaries before, but most of the time I would go maybe two weeks and then go for months without writing in it at all. Now I wish I had stuck with it. But I'm happy I still started young. I tend to be one of those girls who will start something and get really into it but when it looses it's appeal after a while. My psychologist expressed strongly that I should use my artistic likes to battle my depression. I love art and creating things. I love to write in my diary (now). I love to write songs (now more than before). I love to randomly doodle and sketch. I never thought myself to be an artsy person like Halie but now I don't know...
Oh my god! I just got the mail, my bowling couch is handing out the bowling awards this year. I'm getting an award. It's probably an award that everyone on team is getting. But it's still awesome!!! I've been on the team for two years now. This year we had the technology teacher as our coach, he actually bowls. Last year our gym teacher was our coach. He was a total ick-day and he didn't really know how to bowl. This year was a lot more fun than last year. Probably because I actually bowled on the team a least once every game, last year I was a sub most of the time. I also met a lot of my friends on the team last year.
Right now I should be working on my homework. I have homework in every class. I want to be a Psychologist so I know I need a really good GPA but I just cant get myself to work on it. Its so boring. I don't even have a hard schedule this year, next year however. I'm taking several college courses, even the Guidance Counceler said next year is going to be difficult for me, and she thinks I have high grades. I'm not scared about it though, I've always done extremely well at school, who knows how good I'd be if I actually did my homework and actually studied for tests. But homework and studying are so boring. Anyone have any good suggestions on how to make school work a little more interesting?
I itch-bay about how suckish my grades are but I don't do anything about it. School always came easy for me in middle school and last year. It wasn't until this year that the classes began to kick my arse. Not only that but teaming with the hit-say that's been going on in my social life, it's an algebraic equation for sucking...
Now I'm going to go into a rant about everything that's wrong with me. My hair is long and really curly, similar to Taylor Swift. But my hair is really frizzy. Most of the time I don't brush it in the morning so it doesn't frizz out. I've dyed it black. Because of my style, and I think it looks awesome but my gram hates it. I'm totally fat... I hardly eat anything to make up for it. I've lost twenty pounds over the last month. Which is awesome! I can be a total itch-bay some times. I'm the over seer most of the time. I'm like a mother when I itch-bay. I can't help it. I like everything to be perfect.
I'm going to be making a lot of changes in my life after I go to college. One thing I think I should do is find a support group near the college. I have a feeling I'm not going to be getting the help I need here. After my session on Wednesday I'm starting to like Andy less. I hate being judged, Because I am very different from most people. I don't judge and I expect the same.
It's so beautiful outside my window today. But the inside is just as suckish as always. My brother is coming to stay with us this weekend. I hate it when he stays over. I can't sing in my living room when I'm listening to my iPod. He takes up the big screen playing the Xbox 360 the entire time. And my brother being here means my Mom comes over... Yay...
Oh my god! I just got the mail, my bowling couch is handing out the bowling awards this year. I'm getting an award. It's probably an award that everyone on team is getting. But it's still awesome!!! I've been on the team for two years now. This year we had the technology teacher as our coach, he actually bowls. Last year our gym teacher was our coach. He was a total ick-day and he didn't really know how to bowl. This year was a lot more fun than last year. Probably because I actually bowled on the team a least once every game, last year I was a sub most of the time. I also met a lot of my friends on the team last year.
Right now I should be working on my homework. I have homework in every class. I want to be a Psychologist so I know I need a really good GPA but I just cant get myself to work on it. Its so boring. I don't even have a hard schedule this year, next year however. I'm taking several college courses, even the Guidance Counceler said next year is going to be difficult for me, and she thinks I have high grades. I'm not scared about it though, I've always done extremely well at school, who knows how good I'd be if I actually did my homework and actually studied for tests. But homework and studying are so boring. Anyone have any good suggestions on how to make school work a little more interesting?
I itch-bay about how suckish my grades are but I don't do anything about it. School always came easy for me in middle school and last year. It wasn't until this year that the classes began to kick my arse. Not only that but teaming with the hit-say that's been going on in my social life, it's an algebraic equation for sucking...
Now I'm going to go into a rant about everything that's wrong with me. My hair is long and really curly, similar to Taylor Swift. But my hair is really frizzy. Most of the time I don't brush it in the morning so it doesn't frizz out. I've dyed it black. Because of my style, and I think it looks awesome but my gram hates it. I'm totally fat... I hardly eat anything to make up for it. I've lost twenty pounds over the last month. Which is awesome! I can be a total itch-bay some times. I'm the over seer most of the time. I'm like a mother when I itch-bay. I can't help it. I like everything to be perfect.
I'm going to be making a lot of changes in my life after I go to college. One thing I think I should do is find a support group near the college. I have a feeling I'm not going to be getting the help I need here. After my session on Wednesday I'm starting to like Andy less. I hate being judged, Because I am very different from most people. I don't judge and I expect the same.
It's so beautiful outside my window today. But the inside is just as suckish as always. My brother is coming to stay with us this weekend. I hate it when he stays over. I can't sing in my living room when I'm listening to my iPod. He takes up the big screen playing the Xbox 360 the entire time. And my brother being here means my Mom comes over... Yay...