What Hurts the Most
Memories That Fade Like Photographs
She sighed as she typed his name into the search box on photobucket again.
2,097 images found
She clicked on her first image and slid down on her bed. Her knees scrunched up to her chest and she tilted the screen on her laptop so she could see better. Her fingers touched the screen lightly, as if he were actually in the room. She sighed heavily and closed her eyes, trying to hold back the tears that were building up. That night her heart ached, and her cheeks remained stained all because she fell in love. She fell in love with Alexander William Gaskarth, and he would never know.
Two years ago, Alexander William Gaskarth wasn’t ‘famous’. Hell, he wasn’t even Alexander William Gaskarth, he was just Alex. The stupid dorky, dressed weird, always had a bandana on, randomly sang lines from Blink-182 songs, Alex. Her best friend, Alex.
Two years ago, they were sitting in her basement just messing around and attempting to cover Blink-182 and Fall Out Boy songs. Sure, they liked to party, but music was more of their thing. Everyday, Jack, Rian, Zack, and Alex would all file into her basement and pick up their instruments, trying to play a different song every ten minutes. She just sat on the couch in front of them all and smiled. These were her best friends, but only one knew of her deepest secret. His name was Robert Rian Dawson.
“Maddie,” Rian cooed as the rest of the guys went upstairs.
“Yeah?” She said snapping out of her trance.
“What were you thinking about?” He asked.
“N-Nothing,” She said stuttering.
“Madeline Annalise …..” He began.
“Okay, promise you won’t tell anyone?” She said cautiously.
“You know me Mad, I wouldn’t tell anyone,” He smiled.
“Promise?” She asked again.
“Promise,” He repeated.
Maddie found herself opening a new tab on her internet explorer and opening a search on youtube. Once again, she typed in his name.
4,090 videos found
She took in a breath and watched as him making some stupid video with Jack. She nearly melted inside when he started laughing in the background as Jack started talking about being an Indian Superhero.
She was just about to watch another video when her phone started beeping. She reached over to the table beside her bed, sliding open her phone as she read the message.
‘Hey Mads, it’s Rian! Uh.. I… If you… We were wondering if you wanted to come see us tonight. We miss you. So text back if it’s a yes! :]’
‘I’ll come see you guys! But I don’t know if I can stay for the whole thing.’
‘Because why?’
“You know Rian ……’
Maddie slid her phone shut and put her laptop on the side of her. She clicked open her itunes and hit play. Remembering Sunday began playing and she sang along, after all it was her favorite song. She wandered over to her closet, grabbing some clothes and throwing them on her body. Rian gave her directions a few minutes later, and Maddie was soon arriving at the venue.
“Maddie!” Rian shouted as the security guards at the venue walked her back stage.
“Rian!” She mimicked. He wrapped his arms around her, giving her a huge and welcomed hug.
“God we’ve missed you!” He smiled.
“I missed you too,” She giggled, “But you can let go now.”
“Right,” He said letting go.
“It’s pretty packed tonight,” She commented.
“Yeah well, we’ve hit the big time,” He chuckled.
“Yeah, you guys did,” Maddie said quietly.
“Well come on, I think the rest of them want to see you too,” Rian said leading Maddie to the dressing room.
“OH MY FUCKING GOD!” Jack shouted when the door opened, “IT’S THE FUCKING NINJA TURTLES!”
“Hahahaha, Hello Jack!” Maddie grinned. Boy did she miss that kid.
“Maddie!” Zack said surprised, “I didn’t know you were at the show tonight!”
“Rian convinced me,” She said shooting Rian a ‘thank you’ look. He winked and walked off some where.
She sighed. There was only one more boy left to see.
She took a deep breath and prepared for the worst.
2,097 images found
She clicked on her first image and slid down on her bed. Her knees scrunched up to her chest and she tilted the screen on her laptop so she could see better. Her fingers touched the screen lightly, as if he were actually in the room. She sighed heavily and closed her eyes, trying to hold back the tears that were building up. That night her heart ached, and her cheeks remained stained all because she fell in love. She fell in love with Alexander William Gaskarth, and he would never know.
Two years ago, Alexander William Gaskarth wasn’t ‘famous’. Hell, he wasn’t even Alexander William Gaskarth, he was just Alex. The stupid dorky, dressed weird, always had a bandana on, randomly sang lines from Blink-182 songs, Alex. Her best friend, Alex.
Two years ago, they were sitting in her basement just messing around and attempting to cover Blink-182 and Fall Out Boy songs. Sure, they liked to party, but music was more of their thing. Everyday, Jack, Rian, Zack, and Alex would all file into her basement and pick up their instruments, trying to play a different song every ten minutes. She just sat on the couch in front of them all and smiled. These were her best friends, but only one knew of her deepest secret. His name was Robert Rian Dawson.
“Maddie,” Rian cooed as the rest of the guys went upstairs.
“Yeah?” She said snapping out of her trance.
“What were you thinking about?” He asked.
“N-Nothing,” She said stuttering.
“Madeline Annalise …..” He began.
“Okay, promise you won’t tell anyone?” She said cautiously.
“You know me Mad, I wouldn’t tell anyone,” He smiled.
“Promise?” She asked again.
“Promise,” He repeated.
Maddie found herself opening a new tab on her internet explorer and opening a search on youtube. Once again, she typed in his name.
4,090 videos found
She took in a breath and watched as him making some stupid video with Jack. She nearly melted inside when he started laughing in the background as Jack started talking about being an Indian Superhero.
She was just about to watch another video when her phone started beeping. She reached over to the table beside her bed, sliding open her phone as she read the message.
‘Hey Mads, it’s Rian! Uh.. I… If you… We were wondering if you wanted to come see us tonight. We miss you. So text back if it’s a yes! :]’
‘I’ll come see you guys! But I don’t know if I can stay for the whole thing.’
‘Because why?’
“You know Rian ……’
Maddie slid her phone shut and put her laptop on the side of her. She clicked open her itunes and hit play. Remembering Sunday began playing and she sang along, after all it was her favorite song. She wandered over to her closet, grabbing some clothes and throwing them on her body. Rian gave her directions a few minutes later, and Maddie was soon arriving at the venue.
“Maddie!” Rian shouted as the security guards at the venue walked her back stage.
“Rian!” She mimicked. He wrapped his arms around her, giving her a huge and welcomed hug.
“God we’ve missed you!” He smiled.
“I missed you too,” She giggled, “But you can let go now.”
“Right,” He said letting go.
“It’s pretty packed tonight,” She commented.
“Yeah well, we’ve hit the big time,” He chuckled.
“Yeah, you guys did,” Maddie said quietly.
“Well come on, I think the rest of them want to see you too,” Rian said leading Maddie to the dressing room.
“OH MY FUCKING GOD!” Jack shouted when the door opened, “IT’S THE FUCKING NINJA TURTLES!”
“Hahahaha, Hello Jack!” Maddie grinned. Boy did she miss that kid.
“Maddie!” Zack said surprised, “I didn’t know you were at the show tonight!”
“Rian convinced me,” She said shooting Rian a ‘thank you’ look. He winked and walked off some where.
She sighed. There was only one more boy left to see.
She took a deep breath and prepared for the worst.