Guilty.

"The jury finds the defendant... Guilty."

I closed my eyes tightly. I kept hearing the same voice every single day repeating the same thing over and over again, like a ghost reminding me of that tragic night.

"I didn't kill her." I hissed through gritted teeth, as my hands curled into fists.

I heard him stir beneath me, he was probably still awake, he was always awake, as if he knew exactly when I needed someone the most.

"Gerard..." He sighed, I could tell by the his low tone that he was exhausted but something was keeping him up, it was probably me.

"Frank." I whispered to the darkness instead of him.

"Stop torturing yourself with that, you're here in this hole just like me, and there's nothing you can do about it." He told me keeping his voice low and calm.

"I didn't kill her." I repeated myself and turned to my side facing the wall.

"They found you covered in her blood unconscious holding the knife." Frank's words hit me like a thousand broken bottle glasses.

It was hard enough my mother or brother weren't talking to me but now my own cell mate, the only friend I thought I had didn't believe me. I inhaled deeply and exhaled angrily, I didn't deserve to be in here.

I heard Frank shifting again on his bed then I heard his feet hitting the cement floor. I sighed and turned around, Frank was looking at me with tired sad eyes. I sat up and rested my head on my hands.

"I don't want to talk about it." I mumbled like a child.

"You never want to talk about it." Frank murmured as he leaned against the brick wall. He scratched his neck and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

I stared at his tattoos, I always wondered if he got them here or when he was a free man.

"You've been here six months and you haven't said a word about that night, tell me I'll listen." He smiled sweetly sending chills down my spine.

I sighed and looked at the wall instead of Frank, I couldn't look at him, not at this moment.
I gathered my thoughts and took a deep breath.

"I was heading back home, it was Friday I know that because I had bought flowers, I always bought Lacey flowers on Fridays as I reminder that I loved her, this Friday was no exception. I drove on the same rode I did every single day from work to my house except..." I paused trying to make sure I got everything right.

"Except this time I came out of work earlier then ever before, and I saw a car pull out of the drive way just as I turned the corner, I didn't think anything at first, I just thought it was one of her friends, she always went out with her friends." I mused, she always said she was with her friends but I never really saw her with them, or talk to them on the phone.

"Gerard?" Frank questioned in a whisper.

I blinked and looked at him, his hazel eyes were staring back at me intently, there was something hidden in them; an emotion I couldn't quite figure out.

"I opened the door, and I knew there was something wrong, I didn't know what it was but I knew there was just something wrong. 'Lacey' I called out after but she didn't respond, the house was quiet, too quiet... I walked up the steps towards our bedroom and I saw the light on, I smiled and opened the door slowly, I saw her changing the sheets which was strange because she had changed them the day before, I just shrugged it off and decided to surprise her but then her phone rang."

I sighed and looked at Frank who was getting ready to smoke a cigarette. He saw me staring at it and extended it out to me, I took it in my hand and took a long drag, I love the way the smoke filled my lungs and exited out of my mouth.

"It was a guy, I could tell from the tone, Lacey giggled at apparently something he had said, I just watched and listened from the crook of the door. She called him Jim, she was talking to him like they've known each other for a long time, just so freely and natural, I found it strange that I had never heard her mention his name before. 'I wish you were still here with me' she giggled as she sat on the bed. She was smiling, she looked so happy, like I had never seen her before. 'No, he's not home yet. If I'm lucky he wont be home until late night, I just don't know what to do with him anymore' she said it as if I was some kind of animal, a problem in her life." I growled feeling my blood boil.

"The conversation went on for another minute or so, but I really didn't want to hear any more of it, I had heard everything I needed to until I heard her say those three words. 'I love you too Jim, I'll meet you tomorrow at the usual place.'" I shut my eyes tight I could feel the cigarette burning my finger but it didn't matter, I didn't care, I wanted the rage, the pain to go away.

"I walked down the stairs trying not to make a sounds, I dropped the flowers on the table and I gripped onto the table, like it was holding up, I thought I was going to break it. I heard her whistling and it made me angry, how could she act like, how could she do that to me." I hissed opening my eyes.

Frank was still looking at me paying attention to every single word that came out of my lips, he wasn't judging me, he wasn't telling me what I had just realized, he was giving me my space and he was there in case I needed him.

"What happened next?" He asked.

I ran my fingers through my hair and shook my head, everything was starting to be such a blur, everything happened so fast, like a movie in fast forward.

"I let go of the table, I was taking deep breaths trying to relax and calm down, I walked towards the sink to get a glass of water then..." I closed my eyes trying to think hard.

"I saw the knife there, it was calling for me, it wanted me." I murmured

I sighed and opened my eyes, tears were running down my face, I was a monster. A fucking monster.

"I picked up the knife without thinking, I heard her walking down the stairs and I could think about was her in some other man's arms and it made my blood boil, it made my skin crawl at that moment I just wanted to make her pay, to make her feel the pain I was feeling."

"'Gerard' she gasped when she saw me standing there, she put on her fake smile but I wasn't going to buy it, not any more. 'Do you love me?' I hissed demanding an answer. She just stared at me, she had no idea what was coming for her. 'Do you love me?' I repeated the question. She nodded frantically. 'Yes, yes I do Gerard.' she told me, but I could hear the lie in her voice. I gripped the knife tighter and without even thinking twice about it... I launched myself at her. Then everything became darkness, everything just went a-away." My voice broke into desperate sobs.

"It's okay." Frank whispered in the darkness.

I looked up at him, I could see his silhouette through my teary eyes. I shook my head, it wasn't okay, I killed her. I fucking killed her. I deserved to be in this place, in this hell just like Frank.

"I killed her." I sobbed into my hands.

I heard Frank's soft steps coming closer to me, I heard him walking up the small stair I heard him until I felt his warm hand on my shoulder.

"We all make mistakes." He whispered into my ear.

I looked up and met his eyes, the same emotion, the same intensity was still there from earlier, those hazel eyes were calling to me.

"I killed her." I repeated feeling the tears forming.

Frank's hand moved from my shoulder to my cheek were he left it as he softly stroke it, he gave me a sad smile almost saying: everything is going to be okay.

"We all make mistakes." I whispered back as I placed my hand on top of his.

Our eyes were locked onto one another, slowly I started feeling what he was feeling. He was angry, and hurt, and betrayed. He understood exactly how I was feeling and that was all that mattered to me. I closed my eyes soon feeling Frank's rough warm lips on my own, and in that instance time slowed down, my heart race and pounded louder than every, my blood rushed to my face.

My anger collided with his anger, his hands were pulling on my hair, my hands were pulling him closer to me, I didn't care what I was doing was wrong, it was just so wrong but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. My back met my mattress, I felt Frank's lips wonder off to my neck, I could feel his hot sticky breath there as he lingered.

"Will you be my mistake?" He whispered as he placed a tender kiss on my neck.

"Only if you're my mistake." I whispered back.

Frank straddled me and smiled as he noticed how nervous I had become.

"It's going to be okay." He whispered and pressed his lips onto mine as our pain collided with one another.