Dear August

That all was days ago. Ages ago even. It was all numb now from blocking it out…Everybody else was being supportive during this. Spencer and Will were on call for anybody who needed it, Jon was in shock, but still willing to talk. At least Pete and I had one thing in common: we couldn't handle it, so we were the callers not the called. He was more angry than anything though. It was understandable, it's not like this was fair. I needed to stop thinking about this, I needed to distract myself. Although, there's not much you can do when you're grounded from everything…

Dragging myself off my bed I flicked on the lights and went over to my dresser. Digging beneath a layer of clothing I took out my tattered journal. It lasted longer than I expected. I got it a few years ago the summer I moved here. I started flipping through to find an open page, figuring maybe if I wrote it down I'd stop thinking about it. Every so often a phrase or note on a page caught my eye.

Darling September, I read on the top of one page.

It was my first day of school. Brendon was mentioned, William had introduced us. Pete was mentioned, I couldn't believe at one point I thought he was 'a dominant figure, but ok'. All of the entries had Brendon in it. It made me laugh and cry all the same. I turned a chunk more of pages.

My Love November,
Dearest January,
Governor May,
Dear August,

"Dear August," I said to myself and went to the bottom of the page, "I love him." It was underlined twice.

This is where I had to begin, on August 2nd. Every detail was crystal clear as I started at the first sentence.