I'm Melting In Your Eyes

Finally after what seemed like forever I went upstairs and went to bed. I hid my stash of drugs and fell asleep. I thought of what my mother said. So I decided to give up being mad and just be happy they took me in. And If anything worse happens I have alcohol and drugs. The next few weeks of school went by fast. Franks birthday came and went. We didn’t do much. We went to the movies and he spent the night at the Ways. But it was now Christmas time and I am now depressed. Last year my parents were here now their both gone. I know I know my mom calls me as often as she can but that’s not good enough. Frank and Mikey would do things to cheer me up. Which worked most of the time. Finally I cracked I ran to my room and took out some of the white powder and went into the bathroom. I broke it up and made a nice line. I took a dollar bill out of my pocket and rolled it up. I snuffed it all in at one time. Some dropped but I cleaned it up. What ever was left on the sink I put on my finger and put it on my gums. I just wanted to feel the tingling. After that I went down stairs and watched a movie. I was twitching and I didn’t even know it till.

“Are you ok” Gerard asked
“Yea I’m fine why”
“Your twitching”
“I’m just cold” I said
“Well here cover up” Gerard said handing me a blanket
“Thanks” I said and wrapped up in it. I got up in the middle of the movie and went and had more. I was addicted to it. I came back and pretended I went and got a sweater. I had one on so it worked. I kept feeling my nose it felt like it was running. Gerard and Mikey were looking at me.

“What” I asked
“Stop touching your nose its turning red” Mikey said
“sorry its running” I said
“No its not” Gerard said
“How do you know” I said
“Cause your nose looks like its about to bleed” he said
“sorry I have to go to the bathroom” I said and got up and went to the bathroom. I looked at what my nose looked like. I started to make another line when my phone rang.

“Hey mom” I said
“Hey sweetie”
“What’s up” I asked
“Um I want you to stay in the house tonight ok”
“Why” I asked
“Because I guess the guy that killed your father is looking for me and you” she said
“Are you serious”
“Yes baby don’t leave the house tonight ok. Promise me you wont” she said
“I promise I wont leave the house”
“Good. Now what are you doing tonight” she asked
“Watching a movie with Mikey and Gerard” I stated
“Oh have fun. Baby I gotta go I’ll call you back in a while.”
“Ok bye” I said and hung up and made 2 lines and snuffed them both. I was almost done with the cocaine that I had and I would soon move onto drinking or the weed. I finished up the cocaine and went down stairs I was tripping. I got scared when someone was pounding on the Ways front door. I screamed and ran and hid under a blanket. It was Frank who knocked on the door. I got out from underneath the blanket and ran to him and started kissing him.

“I love you so much” I said
“I love you too baby wanna go for a walk” Frank said
“Sure…. Wait…no I promised I wouldn’t go out tonight” I said
“Oh well then I guess we can hang out here” Frank said
“Yea I think that would be good” I said and held onto him and I wasn’t planning on letting him go.
“Baby are you ok” Frank asked
“Yea why”
“Cause your nose is really red and your squeezing the life out of me”
“Oh sorry no my nose was running before” I said and I started giggling cause I thought of something stupid and I couldn’t stop. It was so weird. Frank and Mikey and Gerard just looked at me like I was crazy.

“What have you been smoking” Gerard said
“Nothing” I said well it was true I wasn’t smoking I was snuffing
“Ok then what were you snuffing” Gerard asked shit I cant tell him
“Oh you know some cocaine” I said giggling
“Are you serious” Mikey asked
*No*
“Yes” fuck why’d I just say that
“Are you kidding me were would you get any” Mikey asked
*I was lying I haven’t been snuffing anything*
“My friend Nick” fuck I didn’t just say that
*Fuck run to your room run get away before you say anything else*
I let go of Frank and took of running to my room. I fell up the stairs a couple times but finally made it to the top. I looked behind me and Frank was right there. I ran to my room. I didn’t want to tell him why I did it. Cause I don’t really know why I just got sick of my life that’s it really. I got to my room and shut the door. I was about to lock it but Frank walked in and shut the door with me and locked it. I backed away hoping he wasn’t gonna try and tell me not to do it.

“Why” Frank asked
Great the question I really didn’t know the answer for.
“I don’t really know why”
“Are u serious”
“Fine I guess I just got sick of my life. I’ve been depressed lately and no one has noticed cause I have been acting happy even when I’m not.” I said and sat on my bed
“Baby you should have told me. I would have been here for you” Frank said
“Frank… no one can help me with this.. I miss my dad…..I miss my mom… I want a family that actually loves me” I said crying
“The Ways love you and I love you. You don’t have to do drugs to feel happy” Frank said holding my face
“Don’t worry Frank all the cocaine is gone”
“Good.. wait did you finish it all off” he asked
*No*
“Yea and now I don’t have it and I don’t want to do it again”
“Baby you wanna stay at my house for awhile and get away from the Ways house”
“Yea I would” I said
“Ok lets go” Frank said
“Frank I cant…..not tonight…I promised I wouldn’t go out side”
“Who’d you promise that to” he asked
“My mother.. she …said that the man that killed my father is looking for me and her…he wants to kill us…and she thinks he’s around here still” I said crying but controlling it enough were I could breath.
“Fine I’ll stay the night and then tomorrow afternoon well go to my house. Ok”
“Ok” I said and he kissed me I laid down on the bed and just relaxed my body I was calm until there was a bounding on the door. It freaked me out.