I'm Not Okay Without You
Breaking Down
Chapter 27
Gerard's Pov
I drove as fast as I could to mikey's. I got there within 5 minutes. I know I probably shouldv'e told Frankie about my grandma but i just couldn't do it. I pulled into Mikey's drive way and went up to the door and walked in. I went to hi room and opened the door and saw how messy his room was.
"Mikey?"
"Gerard" he said running to me and giving me a huge hug.
"Mikey are you alright" I asked even though i knew he wasnt
"No but now that your here i'm better then before"
"Ok well i think we need to go out for drinks dont you" I said non- chalantly
"Yea lets go"
"Right now?" I didnt want to go this early in the day it was only like noon
"Gerard i really need to drink I am so upset right now i just want to"
"Ok then lets eat and drink" I said and then i walked out of the room with mikey following me. We got into my car and we went to a resturant. Mikey order his drink and i ordered mine. We started drinking and by the time our food got to the table i was already buzzed. I ate my food and drank more. Mikey finally stopped drinking and i just kept going. Even though by now it was only 2 pm. I was drunk and i was planning on staying drunk.
"Gerard you wanna go home now"
"Mikey i cant face Frank i didnt tell him"
"About grandma...Why not isnt he important in your life"
"Yes of coarse he is but i mean Ally almost killed frank last night and i think that he already dealt with something bad so why put this on him"
"Gee your gonna have to tell him sooner or later"
"I know but...Mikey I cant do it......Its hurting me to even try and talk about it"
"do you want me to talk to him then"
"No cause i have to tell him otherwise what kind of boyfriend am I."
"True...Gee stop drinking and well go back to my house and get the guys over"
"You go i need to think a bit more" I said lying the truth is i was just gonna keep on drinking and drinking.
"Ok I'll get the guys over and you come when your done thinking" Mikey said and paid the bill and then left.
"Can I get another drink"
"Sure what do ya want" the bartender asked
"Can I have a vodka on the rocks."
"Sure" he said and he made it. I Just kept thinking I never got to say goodbye to her. The only other person that cared for me was gone. The bartender set the drink in front of me and i drank it.
"keep em' coming" and the bartender did what i said.
Mikeys POV
I dont know whats going through Gerards head and its killing me to see him worse then me. I got home and called everyone over. They all where there withing a few minutes. Frank was the last one to get there.I was gonna tell them the news and even though gerard didnt want me to i was going to tell frank.
"K guys I wanted to tell you this cause its important"
"Wheres gerard" Frank asked
"He'll be here later but right now he cant handle wht im about to tell you all"
"Ok whats wrong?" bob asked
"Mine and Gerards grandma past away this morning"
"What!" Frank said
"Frank dont get mad Gerard's gonna tell you when he gets the courage to. I wanted everyone to know so that there are no secrets. And yes I was a wreck this morning and now I dont know about gerard."
"Where is he" Frank said
"He's at the resturant ernies right now"
"I'll be back" Frank said and ran out the door.
"Sorry Mikey" both Ray and Bob said
"its okay guys" no one can change this so it just sucks now.
Gerard's POV
I finally stumbled out of the resturant and walked to the corner.
"PSSt hey buddy" I turned around
"You want some" he said holding out a bad with white stuff in it. I knew what it was.
"Yea how much for it"
"well for you i'll say 20 bucks"
"ok here" i said and handed him the money and he handed me the bag.
"You got anything else"
"Yea I got weed and heroine"
"Can i get both"
"Sure that'll be 100 bucks"
"k here" I said and handed him the money.
"Now your gonna need a needle but i dont sell that cause you could get hiv or aids from that shit so you ahve to go to a drug store and get one"
"Cool thanks man" I said and started to walk away.
"Hey if you need anymore i'll be here in a few days"
"K thanks man" I said and walked to the nearest drug store. I walked in the drug store and went to where they had the needles. I didnt want anyone to know what i was buying it for so i took the needle parts of the syrum thing and put em in my pocket and then went and bout just the bottom half of the needle part. I got out of there and walked home. Not to mikeys and not to Franks my own house. I walked in and went to the bathroom and made two lines with the white powder and i rolled one of my dollar bills and snuffed up both lines. Whatever was left on the sink i tabbed it up with my finger and put it on my gums. Then my mouth went numb and i loved it. It will take me a while to get the courage to actually use the needle for the heroine. I decided that i'm gonna try and avoid frank for a few days. But first things first i have to call mikey. I dialed his number and he answered.
"Gerard did Frank find you"
"No but i want you to have Frank stay with you and can you do me a favor"
"Yea anything"
"Well can you make sure he's not alone. protect him from ally ok"
"Gerard what are you saying"
"I dont want to see frank for awhile i dont want him having to deal with me like this"
"like what gerard"
"Drunk and..... Mikey i gotta go" I said and hung up Mikey didnt need to know about the drugs part no one did.
Gerard's Pov
I drove as fast as I could to mikey's. I got there within 5 minutes. I know I probably shouldv'e told Frankie about my grandma but i just couldn't do it. I pulled into Mikey's drive way and went up to the door and walked in. I went to hi room and opened the door and saw how messy his room was.
"Mikey?"
"Gerard" he said running to me and giving me a huge hug.
"Mikey are you alright" I asked even though i knew he wasnt
"No but now that your here i'm better then before"
"Ok well i think we need to go out for drinks dont you" I said non- chalantly
"Yea lets go"
"Right now?" I didnt want to go this early in the day it was only like noon
"Gerard i really need to drink I am so upset right now i just want to"
"Ok then lets eat and drink" I said and then i walked out of the room with mikey following me. We got into my car and we went to a resturant. Mikey order his drink and i ordered mine. We started drinking and by the time our food got to the table i was already buzzed. I ate my food and drank more. Mikey finally stopped drinking and i just kept going. Even though by now it was only 2 pm. I was drunk and i was planning on staying drunk.
"Gerard you wanna go home now"
"Mikey i cant face Frank i didnt tell him"
"About grandma...Why not isnt he important in your life"
"Yes of coarse he is but i mean Ally almost killed frank last night and i think that he already dealt with something bad so why put this on him"
"Gee your gonna have to tell him sooner or later"
"I know but...Mikey I cant do it......Its hurting me to even try and talk about it"
"do you want me to talk to him then"
"No cause i have to tell him otherwise what kind of boyfriend am I."
"True...Gee stop drinking and well go back to my house and get the guys over"
"You go i need to think a bit more" I said lying the truth is i was just gonna keep on drinking and drinking.
"Ok I'll get the guys over and you come when your done thinking" Mikey said and paid the bill and then left.
"Can I get another drink"
"Sure what do ya want" the bartender asked
"Can I have a vodka on the rocks."
"Sure" he said and he made it. I Just kept thinking I never got to say goodbye to her. The only other person that cared for me was gone. The bartender set the drink in front of me and i drank it.
"keep em' coming" and the bartender did what i said.
Mikeys POV
I dont know whats going through Gerards head and its killing me to see him worse then me. I got home and called everyone over. They all where there withing a few minutes. Frank was the last one to get there.I was gonna tell them the news and even though gerard didnt want me to i was going to tell frank.
"K guys I wanted to tell you this cause its important"
"Wheres gerard" Frank asked
"He'll be here later but right now he cant handle wht im about to tell you all"
"Ok whats wrong?" bob asked
"Mine and Gerards grandma past away this morning"
"What!" Frank said
"Frank dont get mad Gerard's gonna tell you when he gets the courage to. I wanted everyone to know so that there are no secrets. And yes I was a wreck this morning and now I dont know about gerard."
"Where is he" Frank said
"He's at the resturant ernies right now"
"I'll be back" Frank said and ran out the door.
"Sorry Mikey" both Ray and Bob said
"its okay guys" no one can change this so it just sucks now.
Gerard's POV
I finally stumbled out of the resturant and walked to the corner.
"PSSt hey buddy" I turned around
"You want some" he said holding out a bad with white stuff in it. I knew what it was.
"Yea how much for it"
"well for you i'll say 20 bucks"
"ok here" i said and handed him the money and he handed me the bag.
"You got anything else"
"Yea I got weed and heroine"
"Can i get both"
"Sure that'll be 100 bucks"
"k here" I said and handed him the money.
"Now your gonna need a needle but i dont sell that cause you could get hiv or aids from that shit so you ahve to go to a drug store and get one"
"Cool thanks man" I said and started to walk away.
"Hey if you need anymore i'll be here in a few days"
"K thanks man" I said and walked to the nearest drug store. I walked in the drug store and went to where they had the needles. I didnt want anyone to know what i was buying it for so i took the needle parts of the syrum thing and put em in my pocket and then went and bout just the bottom half of the needle part. I got out of there and walked home. Not to mikeys and not to Franks my own house. I walked in and went to the bathroom and made two lines with the white powder and i rolled one of my dollar bills and snuffed up both lines. Whatever was left on the sink i tabbed it up with my finger and put it on my gums. Then my mouth went numb and i loved it. It will take me a while to get the courage to actually use the needle for the heroine. I decided that i'm gonna try and avoid frank for a few days. But first things first i have to call mikey. I dialed his number and he answered.
"Gerard did Frank find you"
"No but i want you to have Frank stay with you and can you do me a favor"
"Yea anything"
"Well can you make sure he's not alone. protect him from ally ok"
"Gerard what are you saying"
"I dont want to see frank for awhile i dont want him having to deal with me like this"
"like what gerard"
"Drunk and..... Mikey i gotta go" I said and hung up Mikey didnt need to know about the drugs part no one did.