I'm Not Okay Without You

Chapter 42
Frank’s POV

After making small talk about leaving Jersey when we’d finished touring, we finally found a hotel to stay in.
“I’d like a room, please,” Gerard told the girl standing behind the counter, who glanced at Gerard then me.
“Yes sir, would that be two beds?” she asked, smiling in a very plastic way.
“No, we can share a bed.”
“Okay,” she replied, typing something onto the computer screen. “And… how do you plan on paying?”
“Credit,” Gerard answered, and I noticed a slight note of aggravation in his voice.
“Okay, do you want a suite?” the girl continued, still looking at the computer screen.
“No! All we want is a fucking room! We just need to have a conversation in private!”
“Gee…” I protested softly, nudging his side.
“Sorry, but how hard is it to get one room?” Gerard asked, calming very little.
“I’m sorry, sir, there are just standard questions,” the girl answered, now obviously scared of Gerard.
“Frankie, can you just deal with it?” he muttered darkly to me, trying to keep his voice low enough so she couldn’t hear.
“Sure,” I replied, not wanting him to get stressed out because of this. He sighed and ran the hand that wasn’t currently intertwined with mine through his hair in annoyance. She and I talked quietly for a moment before the conversation was interrupted.
“GERARD!!!” someone yelled from the doorway. I felt Gerard let go of my hands and turn around. I expected him to be signing autographs and that kind of shit. What I got was an utter surprise.
“SEIDEE!!!” he yells back, and I hear the light thump of two bodies being pressed together. When I glanced over I saw that girl attached to my Gerard. I could’ve spit venom.
“God, how have you been? I heard…” Seidee’s voice continued, though it was getting more distant along with two sets of footsteps.
“Hey, would you mind setting something up for me?” I asked the girl in a low voice, seeing an opening.
“Not at all, though it depends on what it is,” she answered, smiling.
“Alright, I’d like you to make sure we aren’t disturbed. I also want room-service to be delivered about twenty minutes after we get up there.” A sly smile spread across her face.
“Of course. What would you like in it?” Heat crept up my cheeks.
“Um… do you have a… a romantic kind of dish?” I asked, staring at the counter top.
“Why yes, it comes with your choice of wine, a salad, either steak, fish, or tofu, and either cherries jubilee or bananas foster.”
“Kay…” I replied, thinking. “Alright, let’s get Merlot wine, a tofu and a stake, and bananas foster please.” She smiled easily.
“Alright. Now, do you mind if I ask you a question?” she asked, tilting her head to the side slightly.
“Uh… no?”
“Are you and him going out?” she replied, tipping her head toward Gee. I blushed and nodded slightly. Her smile widened.
“You make a cute couple.” At that I grinned.
“Thanks.” The girl continued to ask me a few questions, which I answered easily, before handing me a keycard.
It seemed to take a lifetime, but Gerard finally said bye to Seidee. When he did so I turned around; I really shouldn’t have. What I saw was Seidee giving him a kiss on the cheek before running off. I turned back around, disgusted with Gerard for doing that so openly with a girl. A feeling of jealousy twisted my stomach into angry knots. Aren’t we in a relationship? Isn’t it only supposed to be me giving him that kind of attention? I know it sounds stupid, but I felt jealous and angry because of it. He’d explained to me that he had been using Seidee to get me jealous; well, it worked back then and—guess what—it still does.
I ground my teeth together, glaring at the counter-top as he sauntered casually back over to me and slipped his hand in mine.
“We can go to the room now,” I inform him, carefully keeping my voice void of emotion. He nodded easily and took the keycard from me to look at the room number. When he did so I slipped my hand out of his grip and headed toward the elevators. It may be idiotic, but I feel like… why should he be talking to some girl, especially one whom he’d claimed to be dating? But what do I know? I’m just the stupid boyfriend. I must be insane to think I know better than Gerard or some random girl.
When the doors opened, I got in, sighed, and slumped against the cold elevator wall, vaguely hoping the heavy metal would shut before Gerard had time to get in. Unfortunately enough for me, they didn’t. Gee walked in and wrapped his arms around me—after the doors shut, that is.
Cringing away from him a bit, I bit my lip. What was making me feel like this; so… detached? I glanced at Gerard and immediately regretted it. He had let go of me and stood on the other side of the small room, staring at the floor, hurt obvious in his eyes. Guilt settled in the pit of my stomach, making me feel a hundred pounds heavier. Biting my lip harder, I gripped my sleeve, causing my fingers to bite into my arm painfully until we reached the top floor.
As soon as the elevator doors opened I was out of the metal room, walking faster than needed with Gerard trailing behind me. When I found the room I stepped to the side to allow Gee to open the door. The room wasn't much; a bed, a bathroom, and a small sitting area with a table and TV. Gerard walked to the seating area and sat in one of the uncomfortable-looking chairs. I leaned against one of the walls and stared at the floor.
"Frankie..." he began softly, "are you mad at me?" I bit my lip, my voice refusing to come back to me. Getting no answer, he stood up and walked over to me, tipping my head up to force me to meet his eyes.
"If you're mad at me you have to tell me why. I can't make it better if you don't tell me what's wrong," he whispered, holding my gaze captive. I gulped slightly.
"I don't know... I guess I just got a little... jealous. I mean, you said you were dating her once, and then you guys are hugging and kissing and--" My voice had suddenly gone up a few pitches and I was talking too fast for even my comprehension.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Gerard interrupted. "I can see where you got hugging from, but kissing?
"When she was leaving she kissed you," I informed him. His eyebrows drew together in confusion for a moment, then relaxed in realization.
"Oh, that? You don't honestly think that meant something, do you?" I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. "Aw, babe, you're getting as paranoid as I am," he whispered, hugging me. My eyes burned and I hugged back as tightly as I could, griping him desperately.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. I felt him smile against my hair.
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't know it would bug you so much." I nodded understandingly. "If you want I'll tell Seidee to lay off a little," he added.
"N-no! I mean... she's your friend. I just got over emotional or something. It's okay, Gee." At my answer he kissed me softly on the cheek.
"Thanks, Frankie." I just nodded. "So... what now?"