Ironic

“Why are you biting women?” I turned the subject around so Dean wouldn’t get punched again. “I’m curious because you’re just biting them, not killing them. It’s weird.”

“I’m making children,” she smiled arrogantly. “My own army, unfortunately I wasn’t able to finish making you, you woke earlier than expected and the Winchester parade showed up and whisked you away like heroes.”

“Oh my God,” I shivered and twitched in spot. “She almost turned me into a spider, I hate spiders!”

“I’d hate to sleep with another spider, it’s really hurtful to your ego,” Dean spoke thankful with a sigh. “Alora, first off that hurt. And secondly stop biting people that are Remy's mom's best friends kids; it’s not cool to have spiders everywhere.”

“Your ridiculous,” I shook my head at her. “Get over it, you’re a big freaking bug and I honestly hate bugs.”

“I should have killed you,” she spoke harshly. “It would have been so much fun.”

“Here’s your chance, spidey,” I waved my hands towards me, motioning for her to come and get me. I turned my head to Dean and smiled. “You better not let me die.”

“You’d have a better chance if you hadn’t given her the go-ahead,” he explained with wide shocked eyes. “Remy you’re insane!”

“Probably,” I agreed walking towards the door with Alora at my side; we kept sneaking evil looks at one another as Dean followed. “You know what I hate?”

“Your face?”

“Wow. What are you? Two?”

“What do you hate, Young,” she wondered with a glare.

“People like you, who think because they have an advantage to humans they can use it for bad, they don’t use that advantage to help they use it to cause harm,” I shook my head and stood across from her in the parking lot. “Go ahead, use your advantage now? My uncle was a bug guy for the Jeffersonian Institute; I know how to kill a spider without squishing it.”

“Luckily, I feel like embarrassing you. So no, I won’t use my advantage, I’ll just kill you the normal way,” she smirked and leaped at me, I stepped out of the way and grabbed her shoulders, forcing my knee in-between her blades.

“Luckily, my mother taught me everything she knew which included fighting skills,” I mocked her with a smile; she was hunched over holding her back. “Now, come on spider girl, show me what you got.”

“Your perfect for Dean, egotistical and brawny without brains,” she sneered and dropped to the ground, she kicked my legs out from under me. I landed on my back and gasped when the air flew from me.

“Don’t—mock—my—man,” I gasped and leaned back and pushed myself up to my feet. “Come on, bring your best.”

She punched, I moved, she kicked, I blocked. It went on like that for five minutes before I caught her leg and kicked the other one out from under her, leaving her on her back with her leg in the air, being twisted by me. “Okay!” she shrieked.

“Dean?” I called out, seeing that he was by the door watching with Sam. His mouth was gapped open while Sam’s eyes were wide. “You come and finish this off.”

“No problem,” he stumbled his way over to me, he grabbed Alora by the hair and jerked her off the pavement. He disappeared into the dark parking lot, harshly commenting about me kicking her ass the whole way.

“You really beat her bad,” I turned and shrugged at Sam’s comment, he was shocked but he seemed proud of me by the soft, gentle smile on his face. “You did really well; I thought you’d almost get killed.”

“Thanks for having so much faith in me, Sammy,” I smiled sarcastically and rolled my eyes. I brushed off my arms and legs before climbing the three steps up to the bar porch, in front of Sam. I turned around and pointed over my shoulder at my back. “Wipe it off, I feel gross. I landed on the ground.”

“No puke,” Sam assured me as he wiped off my back, side to side to make sure everything was off. “Now, since we’ve solved what—four or five cases in one night, we can go see your brother and dad.”

“I miss them,” I said softly, turning around to smile hesitantly at Sam. “It feels like forever since I’ve seen them.”

“How old is your brother?”

“Sixteen or he will be in two days,” the smile that had been previously on my face slowly fell with the realization that I hadn’t bought him a present. “Oh crap, Sam I haven’t gotten him anything for his birthday!”

“We have two days, Remy. Calm down, we’ll get him something,” Sam grabbed both my shoulders and held me in spot until I took five deep breathes and repeated what he said. “Itzy Bitzy Spider—“

“Screw you,” I pushed away from him with a smile on his face. He was smirking as I stepped away from him. “I hate spiders.”

“I know you do,” he laughed and waved for me to follow him. We walked through the parking lot and got in Dean’s car, we waited a good ten minutes before the door opened, nearly scaring a scream from me. Poor Sam was asleep and jumped, hitting his head on the door.

“Oh Sam,” I whined for him and reached up to pet his head like a puppy. “I bet that hurt like a bitch.”

“Yeah,” he rubbed his head with a grimace on his lips. He shifted his weight in the seat and sat up to lean over. “Dean?”

“It’s taken care of,” he wiped his bottom lip with the back of his hand and held it out to glance at the crimson color smeared across the peach colored skin.

“Dean, why are you bleeding?” I questioned leaning up, I grabbed his head and twisted it so he was looking at me. He grimaced at the odd angle and wrapped his arms around my waist. He pulled me into his lap, a bit awkward if I might say where my back was against the door handle and my feet lay in Sam’s lap, across the car.

“The crazy bitch woke up,” he answered simply shrugging his shoulders as I studied the busted bottom lip and torn upper lip. “Apparently she doesn’t like being called one either.”

“Are you okay?” I looked him in his pretty eyes and frowned at the fact that he was hurt.