Tears can Blind you… Smiles can break you…

"Aiyana..." A cold voice whispered in your dreams. "Aiyana... come to me..." You opened your eyes wide like you had never even been sleeping. Yet, you could no longer control your actions. Something... someone was pulling you somewhere. You were now walking in darkness.

*Stop... stop moving...* you willed your body to stop all movement, but it was no use. You couldn't stop so helplessly you watched as you were pulled up the attic stairs and onto the roof of your house. The mysterious pull was coming from... the sky? You looked upwards as a cold breeze stirred your hair and whispered your name. "Aiyana..." it whispered again and again as it swept past you as if a living being. It was strangely comforting. The voice... the wind... *No... not again...* you closed your eyes and felt yourself moving towards the edge of the house until you could sense the empty void of space as you stood on the brink of going over. "Aiyana trust me... jump..." *No! No!*

"I trust you, beloved," you whispered before letting yourself fall over the edge and into oblivion.

"No!" You screamed as you sat up straight in your bed. You were breathing heavily and sweating as you checked your body as if to make sure that everything was there. This was the third time you had had that dream in a week. It all started with the night of your 18th birthday which had been a little less than a week ago. You had had the dream times before, but never that many times in so short a period. You held your aching head as tears fell down your cheeks in fear and frustration. *What does it all mean...* You were desperate for answers, and unfortunately for you those answers would be coming all too soon...

Your body shook with cold from an unknown source and you decided to take a shower to help calm yourself down. But even the hot shower could not take the ice from your soul and as you walked downstairs your parents eyes were filled with concern as they always were when they thought you were having another episode.

"Aiyana..." Your mother started feeling your forehead only to find it icy cold. "Did you have the dream again...?"

You wanted to cry. You didn't want to worry your parents because they would only send you away again like they had years before. They would only leave you alone with strangers who wouldn't believe what you were saying and pump you full of useless pills. You had stopped taking those ages ago since they didn't help at all. They actually made things worse by putting you to sleep. And when there was sleep there were always dreams...

"I'm fine..." You muttered pushing her hand away from you and running out the door with you bag in hand. It was too early to go to school, so you found yourself at the park, swinging slowly. It seemed eerily quiet except for the squeak of the swings chains against the metal bars. Somehow that sound made things even more unnerving for you. *I'm turning into a paranoid freak... Maybe I do need to go away again... Maybe I need to go away forever...* You thought about it sadly knowing how much grief you were bringing your parents and how it must only get worse. You were so lost in thought that you didn't notice the shadow fall over you...

"Aiyana..." A voice whispered from behind you and you froze in place. "Aiyana, I've come to get you!" the voice shrieked grabbing your shoulders.

You screamed and jumped up turning to face what you thought was the unknown evil in your dreams, but you ended up falling on your butt in front of your laughing best friend, Jason. "You jerk," you said angrily though felt yourself wanting to cry again all the while thinking, *Why do I cry so much...*

"Aww come on. That was funny," he stopped laughing and held out his hand to help you up.

You wouldn't give him the satisfaction and got yourself up unassisted. "It's not funny... I had that dream again..."

"Oh..." He looked down at the ground knowing what that meant. "I'm sorry... I didn't know..."

"It's ok..." you smiled lightly grabbing your bag off the ground and began to walk towards school.

"Aiyana did you ever think that that dream means something?" He asked running up behind you. "You know... like maybe it's trying to tell you something."

You looked down at the ground, but kept walking. You had thought about it. But what could a dream like that mean? "So you think maybe I should jump off the roof of my house or something?"

"No!" He said pulling on your shoulder to make you stop and look at him. "If you did that... I don't know what I'd do. I just mean... well I don't know what I mean. Forget I said anything..."

You smiled again and patted his back before continuing to walk to school. "I'm sure it means nothing... Just an overactive imagination. That's all..." But in the back of your mind you were wondering if what you said about jumping off the roof might be the right thing to do. If you did it in your dreams... maybe it just might lead you to the answers you seek...

****

You looked down at your desk seeing the word "FREAK" etched into the top of it. That seemed to be appearing on all the desks you sat at. It didn't bother you so much. You were a freak... *Of course I'm a freak...* you sighed covering the hate filled word with your notebook and began to scribble pictures on it without really thinking about what you were drawing. Sometimes it was like you went into a trance when you were drawing... And you always ended up with something weird on your paper. This was one of those times because you spent the whole class period drawing without even thinking about it and didn't realize that you hadn't been paying attention to class until Jason walked up to you.

"Cool castle," he said touching your shoulder and making you jump nearly out of your skin. "Where is that at?"
You had no idea what he was talking about until you looked down at your paper to see it filled with an image of a huge darkened castle. Just the image scared you and you quickly crumpled the paper up and threw it in the trash.

"It wasn't that bad..." Jason assured you as you walked with him to lunch. "I would have taken it if you hated it so much." And he actually had taken it after you had turned to leave and shoved it in his pocket. He always did that with pictures you threw away not understanding why you'd throw them away in the first place.

You didn't answer even though you knew why you had thrown it away. Why you always threw them away... They looked too familiar. Every time you drew something like that it was like you knew where it was at, but couldn't remember. You shook your head trying to clear the thoughts away from it. *I'm going crazy... I'm going absolutely insane...*

"Aiyana?" Jason shook you as you had suddenly went very still. You stood there unmoving as if lost in another dream.

You could see someone... In the darkness of your mind someone was there calling to you softly as if distant. He got closer and closer even thought his voice was so far away and soon reached out to touch you. You screamed and found yourself in the safety of the school again, Jason shaking you and looking incredibly worried. All the other people around you laughed like they always did as this seemed to be happening more and more lately. They always laughed and never understood... Your parents always tried to tell you that you were just special and could see things other people couldn't. You knew that it was a lie and you were just a freak who was slowly going insane. You looked at Jason and fell into his arms crying, ignoring the taunts of the people around you.

"Jason..." you whispered clinging to him as if someone might steal you away right then. "Don't let him take me... Don't let him take me..." you begged.

Jason didn't know what you were talking about, but it concerned him greatly. "I won't, Aiyana. I'll protect you... no matter what... I promise." He held onto you tightly stroking back your beautiful black hair knowing how much he loved you. He had always loved you even since you had met back in kindergarten. He had always been your one and only friend as other people only shunned you. He wouldn't let them hurt you anymore though... He wouldn't let anything hurt you. He made that vow right then as he promised you and you knew he was not lying as much as you knew that he had feelings for you. You didn't want to drag him into your problems though and instantly regretted asking him to protect you. You gently pushed him away from you and smiled weakly up at him as if to reassure him that you were alright. You knew in that moment that tonight you would jump and whatever may happen to you, you would not regret...

****

You didn't sleep at all that night. You had already decided your course of action and there was no turning back now. Especially since you were already feeling that familiar tug towards the rooftop and the sky. You took a deep breath as you got out of your bed and put your feet onto the cold floor. Silently you crept outside of your door and looked down the stairs thinking of your parents. How would they react if they found you laying dead on the cold ground outside? You were confident however that that wouldn't happen and so saying a last sad good-bye, because you felt that it would be the last time you would ever be near them, you turned to the attic stairs and climbed them to the window which led you to the roof and your fate.
You felt the cold wind stirring around you and closed your eyes wanting to feel everything around you. You felt calm... at ease... It was better to have made this descision than to suffer in life never knowing. You had to know what would happen even if it meant the end of your life. Anything was preferable right now to what you were going through so stepping to the edge you prepared to let yourself go....

Jason knew something was wrong... he didn't like the thought of you sleeping alone with the dreams always tormenting you. He knew you wouldn't mind if he stopped by to check on you so he set out running to your house which was luckily not that far away.

You turned your back to the emptyness of the side of your house and the last thing you heard yourself whisper was, "I trust you..."
You leaned back and fell into darkness, the last thing you heard before passing out was Jason's voice screaming your name... And then all was lost...

Jason could see you on the roof and desperately screamed your name begging you to stop. He ran as fast as he could thinking he would somehow catch you even if it killed him, but you never came past the middle of the house. You had disappeared into nothing. You were gone...

You could feel the cold ground pressing upon your limp body. You couldn't think... you couldn't remember anything as you sat up and looked around at your surroundings. Trees as far as you could see and the distant sound of water running over rocks. It was like your senses had heightened as you listened to every leaf hitting the ground. Every whisper of wind. Everything around you screamed with noise and you pressed your hands against your ears trying to block it out. As the world around you quieted you opened your eyes only to be met by two yellow ones that looked all to menacing. A wolf stood a short distance away from you, growling and slowly moving ever closer. Your eyes widened in fear and you whimpered trying to back away from the evil creature. But then it pounced on you swiftly forcing you to roll away, but not without a scratch to your back. You screamed in pain grabbing the closest thing you could find. A sharp rock... You didn't know what you were doing anymore and as it lept at you once more you grabbed onto it's back as it passed and began to beat it's head with the small rock until it fell whimpering and bloodied. But you didn't stop... Crying you beat the thing until all you could see of it's head was a bloody mass and it's warm blood ran down your arms and chest.
You stopped and dropped the rock breathing heavily and looking at what you had just done. It sickened you the sight of such a thing and you looked down at yourself seeing nothing but blood covering your eyes and clothing now. You began to tremble trying to wipe the blood off, but it seemed to stick to you like nothing else. Not only was the smell and the feel of it making you ill, but it would soon attract even more unwanted attention and you knew you couldn't handle anything else. But forgetting all common sense you began to run through the forest screaming madly as if insane. Maybe you were insane for your cries were agonizing yet effective as it attracted someone close by.
You fell to the ground shaking and whimpering and only barely heard someone approach you.
"Oh, gods..." a man whispered crossing his heart with a holy symbol. "Brent..." The man cried out running back to his companions who had a small camp set up.
"What is it, Phelan?" The man named Brent asked the running man as he came to the camp out of breath.
"A girl..." he choked out pointing into the woods. "Lots of blood..."
Brent didn't waste time to hear the rest of the story. He took off running to the spot Phelan was pointing at and much to his amazment there was a young girl, covered in blood seemingly passed out on the forest floor. He knew it wasn't all your blood, even though through examining you he found the scratches marring your back. He gently picked you up and took you to his camp telling one of his fellow companions to gather water. After cleaning off as well as he could without removing your clothing he layed you down next to the fire as your body felt like it was ice and put his cloak over you to warm you up.
Pretty soon you felt yourself waking from that unwanted sleep and felt warmth spreading through your body. You smiled snuggling into a cloth that was not yours and that's when you knew something was wrong. Slowly you opened your eyes seeing the fire right beside you and tried to jump up, but found it was too painful at the moment.
"Don't move, please," someone with a strange accent said from beside you. "Your wounds are not yet healed and you look as if you could use the rest."
You managed to move your head to the side and found a man with long blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes that looked so wolfish it made you wonder if he was really human or not. You tried to speak to this man, but found that upon opening your mouth no words would come. You could only cough and rasp without forming real words.
"You can't speak..." Brent looked at you sadly. "That's disappointing. I was hoping you could tell me where you had come from. Your clothing is so strange... Surely you can't be from around here..."
You layed there and thought about it, but no image would come to you as he mentioned you being from somewhere else. You couldn't even think of your own name, let alone anything else. You layed back exhausted feeling strange. You looked to the other side of the fire and that's when you saw them... Wolves... Disregaurding pain you jumped up and prepared to run as you remember your recent encounter with such a beast. But Brent caught you in his arms as you scratched at him and screamed, that being the only noise you could seem to make.
"Calm down, little one," Brent soothed holding you tightly and stroking back your hair as you began to cry. "I saw what you did to that other wolf... it was none of mine... and you were right to defend yourself... But do not fear those that are around you now for they will do you no harm."
You understood what he was saying, but cried still as you remembered how you felt when you thought that other wolf would have surely killed you. Finally your sobs quieted, but when Brent tried to put you down beside the fire again you clung to him as if in great danger still. Brent could understand your pain so he held onto you as he himself sat down beside the fire to keep you warm. "I wish I knew your name... such a beautiful creature must have a name...."
The mention of the word name did ignite something in you and you suddenly heard someone screaming. Screaming the name Aiyana... Your name, Aiyana...
Looking up at Brent you tried to say your name, but again only a soft rasp came out.
"It is alright," he said stroking back your hair again. "We will know when you get better..."
You however, were determined and pushed him back slightly trying and trying again until finally you managed to barely whisper, "Aiyana..."
"Aiyana...?" Brent repeated. "Is that it? That's your name?"
You nodded happily.
"That is a beautiful name, Aiyana," he said as you rested your head on his shoulder. "My name is Brent Lupus. Not quite as lovely... But it's a name."
You smiled, rubbing your head against his warm shoulder. You felt so safe right then like you had known him forever and knew he would protect you with his life. It's not like you knew you had just met him... You lost your memory, remember? You felt so at peace in his arms that soon you felt your eyes grow heavy and you head bow down in calm sleep. Brent didn't leave you though and only covered you as best he could and let you sleep safe in his arms to keep any nightmares that may come in this strange land away...

In the shadows of the forest a wolf watched the two of you with what would seem like jealously in her eyes. She growled angrily looking at you then turned and fled back the way she had come...