Life's a Bitch, But Love is Hell
Bottled Emotions Run Wild
It was a nice day, but you were still depressed about your brother Shen, the others found out what happened because Zuko and Sokka told them and you hadn’t spoken to anyone since. You were bottling your emotions up, mainly sadness and a little anger because Zuko wouldn’t let you help your brother, which that feeling was getting bigger.
You heard an explosion and saw loads of Fire Nation ships appear as Aang blocked the metal doors off, “Watch out!” Zuko yelled, you looked back and saw he pushed Katara out of the way of some falling rocks, “What are you doing?” she asked, “Keeping rocks from crushing you,” Zuko replied, “Okay, I’m not crushed, you can get off me now,” Katara said and ran forward.
You glared at them both for a moment until Toph and Haru made an exit out of the room. “Come on we can get out through here!” Toph yelled, you went and ran in the tunnel, “Zuko what are you doing?” Aang yelled, “Go ahead, I’ll hold them off, I think this is a family visit,” Zuko replied, you were shocked. “Zuko no!” Aang yelled, “Come on we’ve got to get out of here!” Sokka ran over to Aang with Katara.
Appa wouldn’t move from the spot to go into the cave, “I can’t get him to go in there, Appa hates tunnels,” Aang said, “Aang there’s no way we can fly out of here,” Katara said, “We’ll have to find a way,” Aang said, “We need to split up,” Sokka said and ran back towards the others, “Take the tunnel and get to the stolen air ship,” Sokka said, “No, the Fire Nation can’t separate our family again!” Katara said, “It will be okay, its not forever,” Hakoda said.
You jumped on Appa’s back as the others joined in also, “I can clear that away and we can fly out through there!” Toph jumped on and pushed the wall back with her earth bending, “Um, there’s and awful lot of fire in that general I direction…” Suki said, “I’m a fire bender remember?” you stood up ready.
When you blasted out you saw Zuko and Azula start fighting again, you and Katara were blocking any fire blast attacks from the airships as an explosion happened. Zuko fell off the side, as Azula kept falling, “She’s not going to make it…” Zuko said, just then she pushed herself back and grabbed onto the rocky wall, “Of course she did…” Zuko muttered.
“Wow camping… it really seems like old times again doesn’t it?” Aang asked, “If you really want to feel like old times maybe me and Xia could chase you around a while and try to capture you?” Zuko suggested, the others laughed, “Ha, ha…” you bluntly snapped, “To Zuko, who knew after all those times he tried to snuff us out today he be out hero!” Sokka cheered, “here, here!” everyone except you and Katara cheered, “I’m touched, I don’t deserve this…” Zuko said, “yea no kidding…” Katara said, then walked off, “What’s with her?” Sokka asked, “I wish I knew…” Zuko said then walked after Katara. “What’s with him?” Sokka asked, “I wish I knew…” you replied, and stood up.
You walked off and sat by a cliff, a few moments later someone sat next to you, “Xia, are you okay?” Sokka asked, “I’m okay…” you replied, “You don’t seem like it,” Sokka said, “Well I’m fine okay!” you yelled at him, “Okay, okay… I get it,” Sokka waved his hands and went to stand up, you pulled him back down, “I just want some company…” you said, Sokka smiled, “Sure,” he said, you looked back out towards the sea.
“I miss my brother…” you hugged yours knees, “I guessed,” Sokka replied, “Why did he have to go? Why did Zuko stop me when I could of helped him get back also… I could have saved my brother…” you hidden your face, “Zuko was just trying to protect you,” Sokka replied, “Well I don’t need protecting I can take care of myself easily! I’ve been traveling the world by myself for 6 years I think I can handle it!” you yelled, you stood up and sent a fire blast forward, “calm down Xia,” Sokka stood up, “I am calm!” you yelled, Sokka looked at you with his hands on his hips, you sighed, “Fine I’m not calm… but I wanted to help my brother and Zuko stopped me and I am never going to see him again,” you said, “Azula might kill him because of what he’s done…” you hugged yourself, Sokka put his hand on your shoulder as you jumped into his arms. Sokka returned the hug as you leaned your head on his shoulder.
That night you sat in your tent waiting for Zuko to enter and sleep next to you but he didn’t, you looked out of the tent and saw Zuko was sitting outside Katara’s tent. You glared then sat back in your tent and lay down on the ground.
“He clearly likes Katara…” you muttered and clenched your fists.
Next morning you got up and helped Aang feed Appa with hay. “I need to borrow Appa,” Katara walked over with Zuko, “Why is it your turn to take a little field trip with Zuko?” Aang asked, “Yes, it is…” Katara replied, “Oh, what’s going on?” Aang asked, “We’re going to find the man who took my mother from me,” Katara replied, “Sokka told me the story of what happened, I know who did it and I know how to find him,” Zuko explained.
“And what exactly do you think this will accomplish?” Aang asked, “I knew you wouldn’t understand,” Katara shook her head, “Wait, stop, I do understand, your feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the Sand benders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?” Aang asked, “She needs this Aang, this is about getting closure and justice,” Zuko said, “I don’t think so, I think its about getting revenge,” Aang replied, “fine, maybe it is, maybe that’s what I need maybe that’s what he deserves,” Katara snapped, “Katara, you sound like Jet…” Aang said, “It’s not the same, Jet attacked the innocent, this man he’s a monster,” Katara looked back at Aang.
“Katara she was my mother too, but I think Aang might be right,” Sokka walked forward, “Then you didn’t love her the way I did,” Katara said, “Now that’s not fair Katara,” you stepped in front of the others, she glared at you.
“The monks use to say that revenge is like a two headed rat-viper while you watch your enemy go down, your being poisoned yourself,” Aang said, “That’s cute, but this isn’t Air Temple preschool, it’s the real world,” Zuko said, “Now that I know he’s out there. Now that I know we can find him, I feel like I have no choice,” Katara explained, “Katara you do have a choice, forgiveness,” Aang said, “That’s the same as doing nothing,” Zuko said, “No its not Zuko! It’s easy to do nothing but harder to forgive!” you yelled, Zuko was shocked by your outburst, “It’s not just hard, it’s impossible,” Katara said and walked off.
Later that night you, Aang and Sokka saw Katara and Zuko were going to take Appa, “So you were just going to take Appa anyway!” Aang said, “Yes,” Katara replied, “It’s okay, because I forgive you… that give you any ideas?” Aang asked, “Don’t try to stop us,” Katara replied, “I wasn’t planning to, this is a journey you need to take, you need to face this man,” Aang said, “As long as you two don’t get up to anything,” you snapped and folded your arms.
“When you do get there, please don’t chose revenge, let your anger out and then let it go forgive him,” Aang explained, “Okay, we’ll be sure to do that guru goody, goody,” Zuko said then turned to you, you folded your arms and looked away. “No be careful, no goodbye hug?” Zuko said, “Not in the mood…” you turned around. “Fine…” Zuko said then jumped up on Appa.
They too off moments later, “You know your pretty wise for a kid,” Sokka said, “Thanks Sokka,” Aang replied, “Usually its annoying but right now I’m just impressed,” Sokka said, “I appreciate that,” Aang said, “So, can I borrow Momo for a week?” Sokka asked, “Why do you need Momo?” Aang asked, Sokka shrugged.
You sat down by the fire and hugged your knees, “Xia are you alright?” Aang sat next to you, “No,” you looked away, “What’s wrong?” Sokka sat on your other side, “I don’t know…” you said, “I’m confused,” you held your head, “What are you confused about?” Aang asked, “Everything and nothing…” you replied, “Come on Xia… you know why your angry…” Toph said, “I didn’t say I was angry…” you glared at Toph, “Well don’t lie because you know I can tell if you are,” Toph said, “Fine… I’m angry at Zuko okay! And I don’t know why I just am!” you yelled as the fire exploded.
“Whoa calm down there Xia,” Sokka held your hand, “I just feel so angry at him and I don’t know why, maybe about stopping me from saving my brother or maybe killing Kara… I don’t know I’m just angry!” you yelled, “Maybe your jealous because he’s hanging around with Katara,” Toph said, “I’m not jealous!” you yelled, “Liar…” Toph said bluntly, you glared and sat down on the floor, “Okay so maybe I am a little jealous but I’m partly angry about my brother as well. But… I just feel so angry… and I can’t get rid of it… even talking about it makes me feel worse!” you explained, “I’m going to bed… hopefully I’ll feel better in the morning…” you said.
Sokka and Aang went to see Katara as they landed. You looked over the cliff and then saw Katara hug Zuko; you glared at them and walked away as Zuko saw you.
You practiced your fire bending skills as all the purple fire was shooting out, you heard a twig snap and you sent a fire ball in that direction, it was blocked and you saw Zuko, “So much for a hello…” he smirked, “Go away…” you turned around, “What’s wrong with you? You’ve been acting really different since we got back from the Boiling Rock?” Zuko asked, “Maybe I have a reason,” you replied, “Well what? It would be nice if you talked to me about it…” I said, “Maybe I don’t want to talk to you,” you snapped.
“Xia please… whatever I did… I’m sorry…” Zuko said, you turned around and saw he was bowed down on the floor, “Get up you idiot…” you snapped, he looked at you, “You stopped me from helping my brother, you broke my heart at Ba Sing Se, you also killed Kara at Ba Sing Se and all you can say is sorry…” you said, “What else do you want me to do?” Zuko asked, “I don’t know…” you replied, “Tell me?” Zuko asked, “I said I don’t know…” you replied, “Don’t lie Xia…” Zuko said, “I’m not lying! I just feel angry okay… I just hate feeling this way, I don’t know why but I feel so angry and full of hate at the moment I don’t know what to think or do or say I just want to die!” you yelled, Zuko was shocked.
“Don’t say that,” Zuko said, “Say what? I want to die! Well I do! I know that Azula is going to kill my brother so I might as well join him!” you yelled, “Xia, if you died then what would I do?” Zuko asked, “Move on, find someone who deserves you… cos I don’t by the way you look at Katara…” you turned around, “Is that what this is all about, me helping Katara?” Zuko asked, “No… I’m angry with myself because I haven’t forgiven my brother about leaving me alone in the world… I hate him so much but the fact that he’s been in prison for 4 years isn’t his fault either… but I still feel angry like everything that happened with my family was my fault… my father died because he was a water bender, if I said I was also I would have died… when my mother killed herself she was going to kill me also but I ran away… and now my brother is going to die and I should be with him… there have been so many times in my life I should have died… and I just keep surviving some how… that’s all I am now… a survivor… and I’m getting sick of watching people die in my place… why is this happening to me?” tears were falling from your eyes as you spoke and fell to your knees.
“What did I do to deserve this… did I have a past life which was nothing but pure evil… I haven’t done anything wrong… and yet I feel so angry… why?” you clenched your fists picking up a handful of grass from the floor as a hand rested on your shoulder.
You looked up at Zuko and looked away again, “I’m sorry for yelling… my emotions have been bottle up so much lately I just lost control…” you said, “It’s okay… it happens to everybody, including me,” Zuko said, “Like that isn’t obvious…” you laughed a little, Zuko pulled you into an embrace and lay back on the floor with you. You looked up at the stars above and sighed, “I use to look at the stars with Shen all the time,” you smiled, “Well when we save the world with Aang you can get back to doing this with him,” Zuko said, you nodded.
“I’d like that…”
You heard an explosion and saw loads of Fire Nation ships appear as Aang blocked the metal doors off, “Watch out!” Zuko yelled, you looked back and saw he pushed Katara out of the way of some falling rocks, “What are you doing?” she asked, “Keeping rocks from crushing you,” Zuko replied, “Okay, I’m not crushed, you can get off me now,” Katara said and ran forward.
You glared at them both for a moment until Toph and Haru made an exit out of the room. “Come on we can get out through here!” Toph yelled, you went and ran in the tunnel, “Zuko what are you doing?” Aang yelled, “Go ahead, I’ll hold them off, I think this is a family visit,” Zuko replied, you were shocked. “Zuko no!” Aang yelled, “Come on we’ve got to get out of here!” Sokka ran over to Aang with Katara.
Appa wouldn’t move from the spot to go into the cave, “I can’t get him to go in there, Appa hates tunnels,” Aang said, “Aang there’s no way we can fly out of here,” Katara said, “We’ll have to find a way,” Aang said, “We need to split up,” Sokka said and ran back towards the others, “Take the tunnel and get to the stolen air ship,” Sokka said, “No, the Fire Nation can’t separate our family again!” Katara said, “It will be okay, its not forever,” Hakoda said.
You jumped on Appa’s back as the others joined in also, “I can clear that away and we can fly out through there!” Toph jumped on and pushed the wall back with her earth bending, “Um, there’s and awful lot of fire in that general I direction…” Suki said, “I’m a fire bender remember?” you stood up ready.
When you blasted out you saw Zuko and Azula start fighting again, you and Katara were blocking any fire blast attacks from the airships as an explosion happened. Zuko fell off the side, as Azula kept falling, “She’s not going to make it…” Zuko said, just then she pushed herself back and grabbed onto the rocky wall, “Of course she did…” Zuko muttered.
“Wow camping… it really seems like old times again doesn’t it?” Aang asked, “If you really want to feel like old times maybe me and Xia could chase you around a while and try to capture you?” Zuko suggested, the others laughed, “Ha, ha…” you bluntly snapped, “To Zuko, who knew after all those times he tried to snuff us out today he be out hero!” Sokka cheered, “here, here!” everyone except you and Katara cheered, “I’m touched, I don’t deserve this…” Zuko said, “yea no kidding…” Katara said, then walked off, “What’s with her?” Sokka asked, “I wish I knew…” Zuko said then walked after Katara. “What’s with him?” Sokka asked, “I wish I knew…” you replied, and stood up.
You walked off and sat by a cliff, a few moments later someone sat next to you, “Xia, are you okay?” Sokka asked, “I’m okay…” you replied, “You don’t seem like it,” Sokka said, “Well I’m fine okay!” you yelled at him, “Okay, okay… I get it,” Sokka waved his hands and went to stand up, you pulled him back down, “I just want some company…” you said, Sokka smiled, “Sure,” he said, you looked back out towards the sea.
“I miss my brother…” you hugged yours knees, “I guessed,” Sokka replied, “Why did he have to go? Why did Zuko stop me when I could of helped him get back also… I could have saved my brother…” you hidden your face, “Zuko was just trying to protect you,” Sokka replied, “Well I don’t need protecting I can take care of myself easily! I’ve been traveling the world by myself for 6 years I think I can handle it!” you yelled, you stood up and sent a fire blast forward, “calm down Xia,” Sokka stood up, “I am calm!” you yelled, Sokka looked at you with his hands on his hips, you sighed, “Fine I’m not calm… but I wanted to help my brother and Zuko stopped me and I am never going to see him again,” you said, “Azula might kill him because of what he’s done…” you hugged yourself, Sokka put his hand on your shoulder as you jumped into his arms. Sokka returned the hug as you leaned your head on his shoulder.
That night you sat in your tent waiting for Zuko to enter and sleep next to you but he didn’t, you looked out of the tent and saw Zuko was sitting outside Katara’s tent. You glared then sat back in your tent and lay down on the ground.
“He clearly likes Katara…” you muttered and clenched your fists.
Next morning you got up and helped Aang feed Appa with hay. “I need to borrow Appa,” Katara walked over with Zuko, “Why is it your turn to take a little field trip with Zuko?” Aang asked, “Yes, it is…” Katara replied, “Oh, what’s going on?” Aang asked, “We’re going to find the man who took my mother from me,” Katara replied, “Sokka told me the story of what happened, I know who did it and I know how to find him,” Zuko explained.
“And what exactly do you think this will accomplish?” Aang asked, “I knew you wouldn’t understand,” Katara shook her head, “Wait, stop, I do understand, your feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the Sand benders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?” Aang asked, “She needs this Aang, this is about getting closure and justice,” Zuko said, “I don’t think so, I think its about getting revenge,” Aang replied, “fine, maybe it is, maybe that’s what I need maybe that’s what he deserves,” Katara snapped, “Katara, you sound like Jet…” Aang said, “It’s not the same, Jet attacked the innocent, this man he’s a monster,” Katara looked back at Aang.
“Katara she was my mother too, but I think Aang might be right,” Sokka walked forward, “Then you didn’t love her the way I did,” Katara said, “Now that’s not fair Katara,” you stepped in front of the others, she glared at you.
“The monks use to say that revenge is like a two headed rat-viper while you watch your enemy go down, your being poisoned yourself,” Aang said, “That’s cute, but this isn’t Air Temple preschool, it’s the real world,” Zuko said, “Now that I know he’s out there. Now that I know we can find him, I feel like I have no choice,” Katara explained, “Katara you do have a choice, forgiveness,” Aang said, “That’s the same as doing nothing,” Zuko said, “No its not Zuko! It’s easy to do nothing but harder to forgive!” you yelled, Zuko was shocked by your outburst, “It’s not just hard, it’s impossible,” Katara said and walked off.
Later that night you, Aang and Sokka saw Katara and Zuko were going to take Appa, “So you were just going to take Appa anyway!” Aang said, “Yes,” Katara replied, “It’s okay, because I forgive you… that give you any ideas?” Aang asked, “Don’t try to stop us,” Katara replied, “I wasn’t planning to, this is a journey you need to take, you need to face this man,” Aang said, “As long as you two don’t get up to anything,” you snapped and folded your arms.
“When you do get there, please don’t chose revenge, let your anger out and then let it go forgive him,” Aang explained, “Okay, we’ll be sure to do that guru goody, goody,” Zuko said then turned to you, you folded your arms and looked away. “No be careful, no goodbye hug?” Zuko said, “Not in the mood…” you turned around. “Fine…” Zuko said then jumped up on Appa.
They too off moments later, “You know your pretty wise for a kid,” Sokka said, “Thanks Sokka,” Aang replied, “Usually its annoying but right now I’m just impressed,” Sokka said, “I appreciate that,” Aang said, “So, can I borrow Momo for a week?” Sokka asked, “Why do you need Momo?” Aang asked, Sokka shrugged.
You sat down by the fire and hugged your knees, “Xia are you alright?” Aang sat next to you, “No,” you looked away, “What’s wrong?” Sokka sat on your other side, “I don’t know…” you said, “I’m confused,” you held your head, “What are you confused about?” Aang asked, “Everything and nothing…” you replied, “Come on Xia… you know why your angry…” Toph said, “I didn’t say I was angry…” you glared at Toph, “Well don’t lie because you know I can tell if you are,” Toph said, “Fine… I’m angry at Zuko okay! And I don’t know why I just am!” you yelled as the fire exploded.
“Whoa calm down there Xia,” Sokka held your hand, “I just feel so angry at him and I don’t know why, maybe about stopping me from saving my brother or maybe killing Kara… I don’t know I’m just angry!” you yelled, “Maybe your jealous because he’s hanging around with Katara,” Toph said, “I’m not jealous!” you yelled, “Liar…” Toph said bluntly, you glared and sat down on the floor, “Okay so maybe I am a little jealous but I’m partly angry about my brother as well. But… I just feel so angry… and I can’t get rid of it… even talking about it makes me feel worse!” you explained, “I’m going to bed… hopefully I’ll feel better in the morning…” you said.
Sokka and Aang went to see Katara as they landed. You looked over the cliff and then saw Katara hug Zuko; you glared at them and walked away as Zuko saw you.
You practiced your fire bending skills as all the purple fire was shooting out, you heard a twig snap and you sent a fire ball in that direction, it was blocked and you saw Zuko, “So much for a hello…” he smirked, “Go away…” you turned around, “What’s wrong with you? You’ve been acting really different since we got back from the Boiling Rock?” Zuko asked, “Maybe I have a reason,” you replied, “Well what? It would be nice if you talked to me about it…” I said, “Maybe I don’t want to talk to you,” you snapped.
“Xia please… whatever I did… I’m sorry…” Zuko said, you turned around and saw he was bowed down on the floor, “Get up you idiot…” you snapped, he looked at you, “You stopped me from helping my brother, you broke my heart at Ba Sing Se, you also killed Kara at Ba Sing Se and all you can say is sorry…” you said, “What else do you want me to do?” Zuko asked, “I don’t know…” you replied, “Tell me?” Zuko asked, “I said I don’t know…” you replied, “Don’t lie Xia…” Zuko said, “I’m not lying! I just feel angry okay… I just hate feeling this way, I don’t know why but I feel so angry and full of hate at the moment I don’t know what to think or do or say I just want to die!” you yelled, Zuko was shocked.
“Don’t say that,” Zuko said, “Say what? I want to die! Well I do! I know that Azula is going to kill my brother so I might as well join him!” you yelled, “Xia, if you died then what would I do?” Zuko asked, “Move on, find someone who deserves you… cos I don’t by the way you look at Katara…” you turned around, “Is that what this is all about, me helping Katara?” Zuko asked, “No… I’m angry with myself because I haven’t forgiven my brother about leaving me alone in the world… I hate him so much but the fact that he’s been in prison for 4 years isn’t his fault either… but I still feel angry like everything that happened with my family was my fault… my father died because he was a water bender, if I said I was also I would have died… when my mother killed herself she was going to kill me also but I ran away… and now my brother is going to die and I should be with him… there have been so many times in my life I should have died… and I just keep surviving some how… that’s all I am now… a survivor… and I’m getting sick of watching people die in my place… why is this happening to me?” tears were falling from your eyes as you spoke and fell to your knees.
“What did I do to deserve this… did I have a past life which was nothing but pure evil… I haven’t done anything wrong… and yet I feel so angry… why?” you clenched your fists picking up a handful of grass from the floor as a hand rested on your shoulder.
You looked up at Zuko and looked away again, “I’m sorry for yelling… my emotions have been bottle up so much lately I just lost control…” you said, “It’s okay… it happens to everybody, including me,” Zuko said, “Like that isn’t obvious…” you laughed a little, Zuko pulled you into an embrace and lay back on the floor with you. You looked up at the stars above and sighed, “I use to look at the stars with Shen all the time,” you smiled, “Well when we save the world with Aang you can get back to doing this with him,” Zuko said, you nodded.
“I’d like that…”