Daylight

Pet’s POV

I flopped down on the couch as soon as I got back to our bus, suddenly exhausted. I wondered briefly if I could be getting sick, but then realized I was just beat from all the travel and playing just about every afternoon in this summer’s terrible heat.
Shit, I thought. Can I already be too old for this?

Then I heard someone else come up the steps. I rolled on my side and craned my neck towards the door, relieved to see who it was.

“Hey, Aunt Viv,” I called out. “What’s up?”
She sat on the bench opposite me. “Hey, honey. Not much.”
I smiled up at her; she looked upset. “You know, Billy’s out there looking for you. Joe and I saw him just a little while ago.”
I thought that would’ve cheered her up, but I was wrong. She put down the AP leaflets she was carrying and covered her face with her hands.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
She raised her head and looked at me as if she hadn’t known I was there. “Nothing,” she muttered, “I’m fine. Just too hot out there, and I’m bored as shit.”
“Are you supposed to be working?”
She waved her hand at the leaflets. “Yeah, I guess.”
I shifted anxiously. “Isn’t Tim gonna be looking for you?”
She shrugged. Her apparent lack of interest in whether her boss was annoyed alarmed me. “Did you want a cold drink? Would that help?”
Instead of answering, she sighed deeply and asked, “Where did you say you saw Billy? And when?”
“Maybe…fifteen minutes ago? Um, over by one of the gates, I think. Why?”
She smiled wearily. “How is Joe?”
“He’s fine, Aunt Viv, but you’re not,” I answered. “What’s going on?”

Viv’s POV

I hesitated, trying to figure out how to answer Pet. What the hell was going on?
“Aunt Viv, what’s the matter?” she repeated.
No idea. “Nothing; you know what, I was too warm. I feel better now.” I tried to smile reassuringly and failed.
She was sitting up now. “Look, I can see you’re upset,” she persisted. “Is there anything I can do to help? Is something wrong because Billy was out looking for you?”
I shook my head. “Honey….”
She was frowning, damn it. “Please…?”

I rubbed my eyes; my head was starting to hurt, a dull ache forming at the base of my skull and behind my eyes.

Petula was still watching me with a worried look on her face. I couldn’t stand it.

“You’ve got enough going on,” I said slowly.
She smiled, but her eyes were still concerned. “Yeah, but you’re family,” she said quietly, reaching out and taking my hand.
That almost did me in right there. “Okay…” I started to say, but then realized what time it was. “Wait, hon…” I sat back and fired off a text to Bobby: delayed 4 a few min. cover 4 me, IOU big, brb, thx.
Then I leaned in to speak. “This goes no further, upon pain of death,” I warned her.
Petula nodded that she understood me.
“When we were…together…the other night,” I began, but stopped when she rolled her eyes. “What now?”
She giggled. “Well, you’re acting like I didn’t know about that.”
I was confused. “What do you mean, you knew?”
She huffed impatiently. “Aunt Viv, I gave you concealer the other morning. For your neck. What else would’ve happened between you guys? I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid.”
My face went hot.
“Sorry,” Pet said suddenly. “Go on, please.”
“Uh, well…when…the other night, actually the other morning, Billy told me something I didn’t think I’d ever hear.”
She raised her eyebrows, but didn’t say anything.
“He told me he loves me,” I finished.
Pet sat back. “Wow.”
I did the same. “Of course, he started by asking me why we’d never gotten married.”
“What?”
“I had to remind him that not only had he never asked, he wasn’t exactly free to do as he pleased all these years,” I went on.
“Didn’t he get divorced a few years ago?” she asked.
I nodded.
“So what’s the problem now?” she persisted.
I got up and started to pace, then sat down abruptly. “I think it’s me,” I blurted out.
“Why?”
I wrung my hands. “I-I think…” I looked over at Pet; she was so confused. Me too. “I’m…afraid,” I admitted.

She shook her head. “I don’t get it. Afraid of what?”

I opened my mouth, and it all came pouring out: “What if—what if—this just doesn’t work?” I asked the bus floor. “If it all turns out to be a mistake? What happens then? What if—if I just can’t do this?”
Petula’s voice was quiet. “Can’t do what, Aunt Viv?”
I finally looked back over at her; concern was written on her face. “Honey,” I began, “it’s been such a long time—for me. And I haven’t exactly been socially active.”
“What’s that mean?”
I sighed. “It means that I haven’t had any sort of relationship for four or five years,” I confessed.
My niece stayed silent, watching me.
“Billy’s great—if a little over-protective,” I continued. “It’s just…I’ve spent so much time getting to where I am now, working as hard as I can…and he’s not expecting me to not write and not work…and he says he loves me—but what if I don’t really love him? What if I—if we—can’t make this work? What happens if I can’t be what he needs? What he deserves?”
“Of course you can,” Pet said gently. “You’re one of the most loving people I know.”
I smiled faintly. “You’re only saying that because I’m your godmother.”
“I’m saying it because it’s true,” she insisted.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I feel like I don’t know anything anymore.”
She sat up and moved to sit beside me. “And you came to me for advice?” she joked. “Look, Aunt Viv, I saw how Billy looked at you the other night. It was like...I can’t even describe it. So I think you’re right; he’s serious.”
“I know he is.”
“So what’s the real problem, other than you just being chickenshit?”
I had to laugh, but it was brief. “He’s already been divorced once,” I replied. “He must’ve thought Sharon was it for him, you know?”
She nodded.
“But he was wrong, wasn’t he?” I went on. “What happens if he’s wrong this time too? And how can I know for sure that this would be it, that we’re really meant to be together now?”
Petula smiled. “And now you’ve sailed to the edge of my world, Aunt Viv.”
“Huh?”
She tapped the seat in front of her. “Beyond this point, there be dragons.”
I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. “Sorry, honey, I forget sometimes that you’re not quite as old as you are mature.”
“It’s a curse,” she muttered. “So are you gonna go find him and have a talk? Straighten all this out?”
I squared my shoulders. “Yeah, very soon, but I gotta get back and pretend to work.” My phone beeped with a text. I picked it up and read where r u? boss on the prowl. Cant cover N E-more.
“Shit, I gotta get outta here,” I said, standing up. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
She hugged me. “Take care. If I see Tim anywhere, I’ll tell him I haven’t seen you.”
“You’re an angel,” I told her, and fled the bus as fast as I could.