Start Living Now

After Jake and I got into his 1985 Volkswagen Rabbit, we drove through the reservation, up to the cliffs. By then, the sun was starting to set and it cast the high peaks of the cliffs into shadow. Jake had the radio blasting and the windows rolled down. The air was getting a little chilly, but for two Shapeshifters it was just right. At the moment, both of us were nodding our heads to My Chemical Romance’s cover song of Bob Dylan’s “Desolation Row.”

“And the riot squad they’re restless, they need somewhere to go. As Lady and I look out tonight from Desolation Row!” I sang out loud. “I love My Chemical Romance!”

Jacob laughed as I nodded my head to the beat. “I guess those cups of coffee worked, huh?”

“Oh yeah, I’m not going to sleep for a while!” I gave him a silly face.

Jacob laughed at my antics. “Good. I want you to have fun tonight. And don’t worry if the pack heckles you for a bit; they don’t bite. I’m pretty sure you all will get along.”

“That, and if they bite, I’ll bite back. No matter what state of physical health I’m in!”

“Sure, sure, honey. Whatever you say. But I think from now on, you’re not gonna get more than two servings of caffeine. You’re too hyper.”

“Oh ya know what? Kiss my ass, ya sissy dog. Don’t even try to pop my happy bubbles.”

“Happy bubbles?! Haha, I SHOULD make fun of you for that, but since you’ve been through a lot recently, I’ll save it for later.” I stuck my tongue out at him for that remark.

After “Desolation Row” finished, the radio DJ announced that they were going to slow things down a bit with one of her personal favorites. As the song came on I softly started singing to myself.

“And I’d give up forever to touch you, ‘cause I know that you feel me somehow. You’re the
closest to heaven that I’ll ever be, and I don’t want to go home right now. And all I can taste is this moment. And all I can breathe is your life, cause sooner or later it’s over. I just don’t want to miss you tonight…” I sighed and looked out the window, enjoying the moment.

“And I don’t want the world to see me, cause I don’t think that they’d understand. When
everything’s made to be broken; I just want you to know who I am...”

I looked over at Jake and smiled. “I didn’t know you could sing.”

He shrugged. “My showerhead does, and I’d prefer to keep it that way. Besides, I’m nowhere near as good as you are.”

Both of us continued to talk on the way, exchanging little tidbits about ourselves. When I asked Jacob how much longer it would take to get to the cliffs, he smiled and told us that we were already there, and that we just needed to find a parking space. The walk up to the barbecue wasn’t too bad. I sat in the wheelchair while Jake pushed me up. The closer we got to the top of the hill where the barbecue was the sound of music and laughter became more apparent. I could even hear a dog barking somewhere. Even though I was excited to actually be out and meeting new people, I was nervous. I mean, I’m not exactly normal, am I? Hell, I’m freaky to the un-normal people.

Jacob must’ve noticed that I was anxious, because he gave me an encouraging look. “Don’t worry about them, Jael. They’ll love you, trust me.”

As soon as we reached the barbecue spot, the music and the laughter stopped. Everyone stared at me and Jacob. I could feel the heat on my face increasing, which could only mean that I was blushing. Great. This was like one of those awkward moments in movies where everything’s quiet and you can hear the crickets chirping. At that moment I just wanted to turn around and go somewhere- anywhere- far away from here.

A man in a wheelchair came up to me with a warm smile on his face. This had to be Billy. He looked like Jacob, or rather, Jacob looked like him. He extended his hand out, and I took it. He immediately covered our entwined hands with his other.

“You must be Jael. I’m Billy Black, Jacob’s father. Call me Billy. It’s good to finally meet you. We’ve heard a lot about you. Please, make yourself at home.”

I looked up at Jake, who smiled. I looked back to Billy and giggled. “Thanks, Billy. It’s nice to meet you too. Jake won’t stop talking about how great a dad you are.”

“Really? I wish he would do that around me more often. All he does is eat my food and use up all the hot water.”

Jacob cleared his throat. “I didn’t tell her that much, dad. Thanks.”

Billy and I laughed. As he turned his chair around to face the others, he looked back at me. “Well, come on. And don’t say that chair of yours is stopping you from having a good time. You’re not the only one stuck in a chair, honey.” He looked at everyone else. “Don’t crowd her now, she’s not some animal in a zoo.”

After that, the tension in the air completely diminished. The music started up again, and despite Billy’s warning, people swarmed up to me and Jacob. I met Sue Clearwater, Billy’s “somewhat” girlfriend, Sam and his fiancée Emily. Emily was excited to meet me, and even invited me to their wedding. Sam was polite but reserved, like he wasn’t sure if I could trust him or not. But after a punch or two from Jacob, he opened up a little more.

When I asked where the rest of the pack was, Emily laughed and said they were out by the cliffs, no doubt cliff diving. I gave Jake a skeptical stare.

“Don’t worry about them. They’re fine. I’ll show you sometime, when you have full motor skills.”

“At this rate, that’ll be at least in two weeks, maybe next week,” Sam chimed in. He looked at me. “Your recovery rate is amazing. Almost a month has gone by, and you’re already up and about. That’s great.”

“It was Jake’s idea to bring me here tonight. And I’m glad he did, you guys are awesome. I haven’t felt this much at home in a while.”

“And why is that?” A deep voice popped up. As we all looked in the direction the voice came from, five figures appeared in the firelight.

“Not now, Paul.” Jacob growled. “We just got here. Let her settle in before you harass her. She kicked you rear once, don’t make me do it again for her. Or do you need another ass whooping to remind you?” At Jacob’s comment, Paul growled and looked at me.

“Guys calm down,” Emily said. “Paul, go find Rachel or something. Stop bothering Jael.”

“Fine.” And with that, Paul stormed off towards the barbecue pits, looking for his imprint.

“Jael, this is Embry, Jared, Collin and Brady. Collin and Brady are the newest addition to the pack.” After I greeted them, the guys-at least everyone but Embry- responded in a friendly way, and excused themselves.

“Jakeeeee!!!” A little girl ran up to Jacob and wrapped her arms around him.

“Claire! How are you sweetie? Wait a minute, where’s Quil?” Jake looked around.

“He’s coming. Leah’s here! Koda almost peed on her!”

I giggled to myself. Jacob told me all about Quil and his imprint Claire. At first I was a little shocked to hear that Quil had imprinted on a little girl, but after seeing the way Claire’s eyes lit up when she talked about Quil, I could tell that their relationship was a good one. Jacob had mentioned that Quil loved Claire as much as anyone would love their imprint, and that when Claire grew up, if she did or didn’t want to love Quil in a romantic way, he would love her just the same. Soon after, I heard the sound of barking. Quil, Leah and a tall brown-haired boy walked up the hill, Quil leading a puppy on a leash.

“Hey Jake! Sorry it took so long, but Koda needed to use the little puppy’s room.”

“Yeah,” Leah chimed in. “On my shoe.”

“You shouldn’t have been standing by the tree, Leah,” said the tall boy with dark hair.

“Shut up Seth before I punch your face in.” Leah growled. Quil rolled his eyes.

Jacob cleared his throat. “Guys, this is Jael. Jael, this is Seth, Quil and Leah-”

“And I’m Claire!” Claire raised her arms in the air and Jake twirled her around. “That’s my puppy Koda!”

Koda barked up at Claire. When Jacob put her down, he ran up to her and gently tackled her, licking her face.

Leah and I laughed. “Looks like you have competition, Quil.”

Quil sighed. “I know! But she saw him at the pet store when we were in Port Angeles a few months ago, and I just had to buy him for her. They’ve been inseparable ever since.”

Koda barked again and walked up to me. I was hesitant about him knocking me out of the wheelchair, but he was surprisingly gentle when he put his two front paws on my lap. I laughed and held out my hand so that he could smell it and get used to my scent. But he completely ignored my hand and started licking my face. I started laughing again and pet his fur.

“I guess Quil’s not the only one who has some competition, huh Jake?” Seth nudged Jacob’s shoulder, which only resulted in a punch to the arm and Jake telling him to shut up.

“Huh?” I was about to ask them what they were talking about, but Koda jumped up and started licking my face again.

“Down Koda! Let’s go get some hot dogs from Billy!” Claire squealed and started walking off towards the barbecue pits. Koda licked me one last time before he sauntered off, following Claire.

“Is he always like that, Quil?” Seth asked.

“Yeah, he’s a good dog. He gets along with people. Paul’s the only one he doesn’t like. Doesn’t let him anywhere near Claire. Hey, where’s Renesme?”

Jacob shrugged. “She’s in South America with that bloodsucker. Besides, she doesn’t like coming to these barbecues. You know that, Quil.”

The air grew stiff again. I guess this was a sore subject for Jacob, so I offered him a way out. “Is he okay with you Shifting and stuff?” I asked Quil, referring to Koda. But I quickly corrected myself, and replaced the word “Shifting” with “Phasing.”

“No, he’s good actually. He was a little scared at first, but he got used to it. He even tags along when I do my rounds. You should’ve seen him the other day…”

As the night dragged on, the barbecue continued. I quickly became attached to Jacob’s pack, Leah, Seth and Sam especially. I positively adored Claire, and even took her and Koda out for a little ride in my wheelchair. I would put Claire in my lap and let Koda lead wheel us wherever he wanted to go, which wasn’t far, because he always ended up by Billy’s side, whining for some more hot dogs.

Midnight was coming closer and closer, and by the time it did, Billy, the Clearwaters, Sam, Emily, Jacob and I were all that was left of the barbecue. After a quick cleanup, we all started for the cars, bidding our farewells. I was quickly discovering that I was very sleepy. After Jacob helped me get into the Rabbit and started driving, I was out like a light.

As I felt Jake carrying me somewhere I slowly became more aware of my surroundings.

“Jake? Are we back at the Cullen’s?”

“No, honey. We’re at my place.”

“Shouldn’t we let them know that I’ll be a little late?”

“No, they’ll figure it out. Edward and Bella are home. Believe me, they’ll know. Besides, you’re sleeping here for the night.”

As he was talking to me, Jacob opened a door with his elbow, carrying me into a medium sized room, which I assumed was his; he mentioned earlier in the day that the only guest bedroom they had was being used by Rachel. It felt a bit cramped, but it was cozy nonetheless. Jacob lowered me onto the bed and walked over to the closet. Tossing me a large T-shirt, Jacob walked out of the room after I assured him that I could change my clothes by myself.

When I finished and Jacob re-entered the room he helped me get under the covers; my legs weren’t exactly once hundred percent bendable yet. I felt like a little kid, getting tucked in. When I shared this thought with Jacob, he laughed and asked me if I wanted a bedtime story too. But I felt guilty when he told me he’d be crashing on the couch tonight, that is, before Paul showed up and claimed it.

“Sleep in here tonight. I feel bad enough for-”

“Don’t start with that, ok? You’re fine. But if it bothers you that much, there’s an air-mattress in the hall closet. I’ll use that, ok?”

Twenty minutes later, Jacob was laying down, his head on a pillow, facing me. As he pulled the blankets tighter around his body, he gave a chuckle.

“You know what? Why do we even use these things? I mean, our body heat is enough to keep us warm.”

“I do it for some normalcy. I like wrapping myself up under the covers.”

“Then why are your feet sticking out?” He flicked my big toe, and I had to fight off the urge to
kick him in the head.

“I don’t like having the blankets on them, ok? The rest of my body can be as hot as it wants to, so longs as my feet stay cool.”

Jake laughed and pulled himself up so that his head and arms were resting on the bed. “You’re weird.”

Choosing to ignore that comment, I looked down at Jacob, who was sitting up next to the bed. “Thanks for taking me out tonight.”

Jake shrugged and started tracing patterns on the comforter. “Like you said, having something to do that’s normal, even if it’s going to a barbecue with some new friends; it means a lot when you’ve been through a lot of drama. And I know you’re supposed to be recovering and whatnot, but who’d want to stay cooped up in a bed the whole time?”

“I wouldn’t, that’s for sure. But your pack really did make me feel at home tonight.”

“Good. I want you to have a good time while you’re here.” Jacob looked at me. “Can I tell you something?” When I nodded the room got quiet once again. Jake was nervous about something; I could tell from the way he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Hey, don’t get upset, ok? I just want you to know that I’ll be there for you, as long as you want me to. And even though you won’t tell me why, I know somebody’s looking for you, and you don’t want to be found. I can deal with that. But would you tell me exactly who is out looking for you?”

I sighed. I really didn’t want the night to end this way, but after all he’d done for me, I felt like I owed it to be completely honest with Jacob.

I took a deep breath. “Niko and my old pack are after me.”

Jacob nodded. “I figured as much, after what you said about him. But why?”

“Like I said, some things happened. I have something they want, and I’ll never give it to them.”

“What is it?” But after seeing the far-away look on my face, Jacob changed the subject. “Hey, forget about it. We can talk about it later. And if you don’t mind, the pack’s already decided they’ll protect you from danger, as cliché as it sounds. And when you’re ready, tell me about this Niko guy. Deal?”

I nodded my head, blinking away tears. “Yeah. Deal.” For the first time in my life, I let someone I barely knew get close to me. And I wasn’t disappointed in the end. I felt like I’d known Jacob as well as I knew my Pops. Thinking about him put a longing sensation in my chest. I miss him.

Jake sighed and leaned over me, rubbing away the tears. “Don’t be upset, ok? Did you have a good time tonight?”

I blinked up at him. “Yeah, I did.”

He smiled and kissed my cheek. “Good. Well, I think we should get some sleep tonight. Both of us had a pretty exciting day, huh?”

I snickered. “Yeah we did.” I gave him a smile. “Thanks, Jacob. For everything.”

As I turned around, Jake put his arm on my shoulder. He gave me a look that sent shivers down my spine, and for a minute I thought he was going to kiss me. But instead he ran his fingers over my cheek, and looked at me in a way that made me think that this kind of look wasn’t meant for me, a friend. There was a look in his eye that I couldn't understand. “Like I said, Jael. Anytime.” He returned to the blow up mattress. “Good night, Jael.”

I returned to my original position on the bed. “Good night, Jacob.” And as I started drifting off to sleep I smiled, thinking that it had been a very good night indeed.