Start Living Now

Author’s Note: This Chapter is in Jacob’s P.O.V.

Well, I can honestly say that I’m glad Sam asked me to fill in for him the day Paul and I found Jael. Ever since Nessie started spending more and more time with that bloodsucker Nahuel, life pretty much became an uneventful routine; there was no excitement, no thrill. The only variety I got was when my dad decided to throw those spur-of-the-moment barbecues; which is nice and all, but I was dying for something different.

Then Jael turned up. Life’s been a rollercoaster ever since. Watching her recover is indescribable. It’s exciting, it’s unexpected. It’s just amazing, really, and the fact that she’s allowing me be there every step of the way makes it even more amazing. I thought she would never let any of us in; part of her is just as reserved as she was when she first came out of her short coma. My only question is, WHY?

It’s been another two weeks since I took Jael to the barbecue on the cliffs, which meant that Jael had been staying in La Push/Forks for well over a month. Honestly, I’m surprised she’s still here. Part of me still thinks I’m going to wake up and not see her sleeping in my bed- I still sleep on that uncomfortable air-mattress- or get a phone call from the Cullens saying she ran off. Carlisle wanted her to split her time up so that he could properly keep track of her healing bones and muscles and so that she’d be able to get to know everyone better, so Jael’s been spending her time divided between the Cullen’s house and the reservation.

I still haven’t heard anything from Renesme. It’s been almost two months, and it’s driving me crazy! You’d think she would have enough sense to call every so often. She called her parents a few times, but told them that she didn’t want to bother me because she thought I’d be with Jael. I know she’s been using Jael as an excuse; the two didn’t exactly get along when Jael came to. And the fact that she was spending all of her time in South America with him only made me aware of one thing: I was losing Renesme. Renesme’s love was something I couldn’t bear to lose. Yet, whenever I spend time with Jael, I’m reminded of what it feels like to be wanted again. Seeing her face brighten when I pick her up from the Cullen’s house has always been the highlight of my day lately.

Today is Friday; the first weekend of the summer. Jael's been waiting for me to pick her up after I get off of work. Since I had graduated from high school, I got a job working as a mechanic in an auto shop not too far from La Push. I earned good money, so I wasn’t complaining; it only brought me closer to the dream of owning my own shop. Anyway, I knew I wouldn’t have any time to run home and take a shower, so against my better judgment, I drove to the Cullen’s house. As soon as I parked the car in the driveway and got out, Alice walked up to me and said hello. When I say “walked,” I mean “walked in that superhuman, ridiculously fast” kind of way.

“Jesus, Alice! Can’t you ever act normal around people? Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“Sorry, Jacob. I thought you’d be used to this by now.”

“Yeah, well it still bothers me. Is Jael ready to go?”

Before I could get an answer, the front door opened. Jael came running towards Alice and I; her face beaming in a smile, her raven-black hair swirling in the wind. For such a petite little thing she really could run. I really shouldn’t say that she was so small; Jael was the same height as Alice. She just seemed so fragile to me in her sleep; like she was made of glass. I had never seen her run in her human Form before. If she ran any faster, she would be flying.

“Jake!” She breathed as she threw her arms around my neck. I spun her around in a circle, making her laugh. I could never get enough of that laugh. It was so much more appealing than any other laugh I’ve ever heard before, and she had competition; there was Alice’s melodic laugh and Renesme’s pixie-like giggle.

“Hey, how’s my favorite recovering Shapeshifter doing today?” I asked as I set her down, holding her arm until she steadied herself.

Alice twirled over to Jael’s side, putting an arm around her. “She is doing great. She’s making such progress in her convalescence, it’s astonishing. Today, she-”

“I saw ‘red!’” Jael exclaimed. “Oops, sorry Alice. I couldn’t help myself.”

I didn’t pay attention to Alice’s reassuring words. “What do you mean ‘you saw red’?”

“Exactly how it sounds! I saw ‘red’ today! Well, actually, it was more of a maroon color, but-”

“What Jael is trying to say,” Alice said as she gently shook Jael’s shoulder, “Is that she lost her temper today after losing to Emmett in an arm wrestle, and almost changed into one of her Forms.”

I smiled in amazement. I was at a loss for words; Carlisle said she wouldn’t be able to Phase for another three weeks! Jael was leaping milestones when it came to her recovery. The Doc was even considering the idea that Jael's accelerated healing was faster than the rest of us.

“That’s great Jael! I can’t believe this!” I picked her up and swung her around again. I set Jael down and pulled her into a hug, pretending not to notice Alice’s knowing smile.

“Well, I’m gonna go inside and get my things. I’ll be out in a few minutes!” As I watched Jael sprint inside the house, Alice turned to me with that big smile on her face.

I gave her a questioning look. “What?”

“So when are you going to stop denying it and tell Jael you like her?”

My eyes widened in surprise. “What?! What are you talking about?!” I scoffed. “I don’t like Jael! I belong with Renesme!”

Alice rolled her eyes. “I thought my vision would’ve come true by now, but you’re being unfeasible, Jacob Black.”

I shrugged. “Sorry, but you and I both know that Renesme and I are meant to be together, not me and Jael.”

Alice gave me that knowing look again. “Think what you want to, Jacob. It’s going to happen whether you see it coming or not. For once, think of yourself; do you think Renesme cares for you in a romantic way? When she spends most of her time locked up with Nahuel in her room?”

“Alice, stop pestering Jacob.” The quiet, stern voice that filled the air could only mean that Edward had come outside. As Alice and I turned to face him, Bella appeared beside Edward.

After saying our “hellos,” Edward pulled me aside and asked why I liked sending so much time with Jael. After simply responding that everyone except Nessie and Rosalie enjoyed Jael’s company, the frown on Edward’s face become more prominent. Apparently he wasn’t satisfied with my answer, because he told me I shouldn’t be spending so much time with Jael, for Nessie’s sake.

“Oh trust me, Edward; I’m sure Nessie’s having a wonderful time screwing around with that bloodsucker.” I stormed off towards the car, waiting for Jael. What was taking her so long?!

“Jacob, don’t worry about Edward. He’s just worried about his daughter; he doesn’t want her to get hurt,” Alice said as she put a cold, comforting hand on my shoulder. “Things will work out. Trust me.” Her face remained as calm and sincere as ever when I shrugged her hand off my shoulder.

As I pulled up the driveway to my house, I let out a sigh of relief. Jael paused in unloading her things from the back of the car and walked over to me.

“Hey, calm down, okay? I don’t know what happened back at the Cullen’s, but whatever it was doesn’t matter now. I don’t want my time here to be depressing, and I sure as hell don’t want to get in between all of you; you’ve done too much for me. If it’s me that’s bringing you down, I can always find another place to stay until I get better.”

“No, Jael it’s not you. It’s Renesme.”

“Oh.” Jael nodded. “Imprint stuff. Say no more. I know what it’s like to lose the one person you care about most.”

“You mean, you have an imprint? Why didn’t you tell me? I bet he’s worried sick about you!”

Jael shook her head. “Had. I had an imprint.” For a split second, her face contorted into a look of pain; I thought she was going to cry.

Shit. I didn’t mean to bring up any bad feelings. “I’m sorry,” I said, pulling her into a hug. “Did he die or something?” I wasn't good at the whole comforting thing.

Jael allowed a mocking laugh to escape from her lips. “Something like that.” She pulled herself away from me. “C’mon. Let’s unpack my things. We’re supposed to be going to First Beach today, right?”

I allowed Jael to change the subject. She’d tell me when she was ready. I picked up the majority of her things and followed her into the house. “Yeah, how’s a bonfire on the beach sound to you?”

As Jael plopped down onto my bed, she smiled up at me, showing off those pearly whites. “Perfect. I’m starving.”

After giving in to Jael’s request, we headed out towards Second Beach; she wanted to do something different for a change. That, and, Second Beach was nowhere near as popular as First Beach. This was a good thing, considering the fact that Jael convinced me to Phase and carry her all the way there. It took some practice at first, because Jael hadn’t exactly regained her sense of balance, and she would sometimes fall off of my back.

The sun was setting when we arrived. I think she planned our evening out so that we could watch the sun set together; it was one of her favorite pastimes ever since she came to La Push. At the moment, we were in the woods, just a few minutes’ walk from the shoreline. As I slowed to a walk, Jael hopped off of me, losing her balance in the process. I caught her just in time with my muzzle, and kept her steady, rolling my eyes in the process. Unfortunately, this didn’t go unnoticed by Jael.

“Okay, asshole! I see how it is!” she laughed as she threw my clothes at my face. “Don’t expect me to stick around while you’re in the buff; I’ve got better things to do.”

I gave her a complaining bark, watching her carry the picnic basket off to the beach. As soon as I Phased and put my clothes on, I followed her footprints in the sand. She’d already set up the blankets and the food, and was chomping down on a submarine sandwich. She even had a fire going.

“Oh, gee, thanks,” I said as I sat down next to her. “You couldn’t even wait for me? I was gone for a whopping five minutes!”

“Nwope,” Jael said through a mouthful of sandwich. “You were taking your sweet ol’ time, and I was hungry.” She bit into another piece, bits of lettuce and mayonnaise falling down her cheek.

“And here I thought I was having dinner with a lady.” I laughed as I wiped the lettuce and mayonnaise off her cheek.

“Fwuck you. I’m a lady when I wanna be.” Jael threw a strawberry at me, splattering red all over my white T-shirt. “Oowps.” She swallowed her mouthful. “Sorry!”

“That does it," I said, throwing my sandwich onto the blanket. “I’m gonna teach you some manners!” I pinned her down to the sand, tickling her sides.

“Ah, Jake! Stop it, you’re getting sand everywhere!” She kicked me off of her and ran towards the water, splashing the cool liquid on her sandy legs. I followed her into the water, splashing her small frame.

Soon after, we were walking down the beach. My first instinct was to hold her hand, but I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. I wasn’t trying to make either of us feel uncomfortable. Instead, I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, and she wrapped her arm around my waist. When we returned to our small fire pit, Jael spread herself across the blankets. I quickly followed suit. We spent the next couple of hours talking, watching the stars.

When we returned to my house, my dad was on the front porch, talking with Ulysses Apwoi, our neighbor.

“Hey you two! How was your date?” Ever since my dad met Jael, he’s preferred her over Renesme. I was tired of him asking if we were together yet.

Jael and I stared at each other, neither of us knowing what to say. Finally, Jael stepped up to the plate. “It was fine, Billy. We went to Second Beach.”

“Ooohhh. Well I hope you two had fun. Good night. Try not to be too loud in the bedroom; sound carries in the house.” Dad winked at Jael, whose eyes were wide with shock.

“Dad!” I yelled, which was responded with a “Just kidding!”

Once we were both inside, we dumped the picnic basket and blankets by the door, and took off towards my room. I know how it sounds, but the truth is both of us were trying to get our pajamas before the other, in order to get dibs on the first shower. Unsurprisingly, Jael won. What can I say? The girl can run!

When I stepped back into my room, drying my hair with a towel, I noticed Jael wasn’t sleeping in the bed; usually she was out cold by the time I got out of the shower. Instead, she was standing by the open window, her back facing me. And she was unnaturally quiet.

“Hey, is everything alright?” I asked as I placed a hand on her shoulder turning her around. Immediately, I could tell she wasn’t okay. She’d been crying.

“Jael, what’s the matter?” She wrapped her arms around my waist, unconcerned that she was letting herself become vulnerable in my presence. “Honey, you can talk to me about anything. What’s wrong?”

Jael sniffled. “Remember how I said I had an imprint? And you asked if he died, and I said yeah?” When I nodded my head, she looked up at me. “Well, I wasn’t telling the whole truth.”

I pulled her over to the bed and sat down, allowing her to curl up in my lap. “What do you mean?”

“He isn’t dead!”

“So, do you mean he’s still you imprint?” For a reason I couldn’t explain, I was worried that Jael was in a relationship with someone; that she was taken.

“No, he’s not! I mean, he was, but he’s not anymore! I don’t want him!” She sobbed into my chest.

“Jael, what are you talking about!”

“Niko! He wasn’t just my Beta! He was my imprint! And he betrayed me! He left me for someone else!”

The minute she said that Niko was her imprint and that he had hurt her, my muscles tensed in anger. I held her closer, comforting her. I knew the shit he put her through. And because he hurt her, this breathtaking creature, I hated him. I hated him with a passion. But I had to get the facts, so I calmly asked her who she was talking about. “Who, Jael?”

“Janae! He left me for that witch! They tried to take away my birthright! They tried to get rid of me so there could be a new Alpha! That’s why I’m here! They’re out looking for me, so they can kill me!”

My body gave an involuntary shudder; I wanted to Phase and hunt down the motherfucker. But Jael needed me, and I couldn’t leave her. So I calmed her down so that she could get some sleep. As she curled up in the bed, I started to walk out of the room; I was going to call Sam and tell him everything. But a hand reached out for me.

“Wait,” Jael mumbled. She was quickly falling asleep. “Don’t leave me.”

I sat down next to her, stroking her hair. “Honey, I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” She pulled me closer, motioning for me to get underneath the covers. As she snuggled up next to me, we were overwhelmed with the heat between our bodies, and the blankets quickly made their way to the floor. I held Jael close to me, as if holding her would protect her from harm.

Jael looked up at me with lazy eyes. She lifted her head and planted a soft kiss on the corner of my lips; either she was aiming for my cheek and missed, or she wanted to kiss my lips and failed to do so. Either way, I wasn’t going to bother her about it now. “Thank you for the date, Jake. I had a good time.”

I chuckled, and softly kissed her forehead. “Me too.”

As I started falling asleep listening to the sound of Jael’s breathing, two thoughts popped into my head. The first was that no matter what anyone said, I was willing to defend Jael with my life. And the second? Without a doubt, I was hooked; I wanted Jael in a way that I knew I was wrong. I wanted her to be mine, and care about me as much as I did about her.

I guess Alice was right all along.