Start Living Now

Author’s Note: This Chapter is in Jacob’s P.O.V.

Now that I knew the whole story of what happened to Jael, my head was swimming. No one deserved to go through what she did; I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. To be betrayed by her family, her pack…and to know that it was your own imprint that responsible for it all…I couldn’t understand how Jael was so calm about it; she had stopped crying a while ago, and looked relieved, like all she needed was to get that heavy weight off her chest.

I still felt like telling me about her past wasn’t enough, could never be enough, for Jael. She would forever be disconnected from her family; her grandfather, Yuma, and the rest of the pack that had remained loyal to her. And even though they forced her to run, I could tell in her heart, she’d regret it possibly for the rest of her life. I asked her if she had any way of contacting them; if she could somehow feel their presence when she Shifted, but she sadly shook her head and explained that she couldn’t feel any connection with anyone when she Shifted. The only connections she ever felt was when she and I talked to one another or Sam, since the three of us had the right to bear the name Alpha.

I had just about enough of this sadness. Jael has a new life now; she’s got so many people who care about her, who love her. She didn’t know this, but for a while now everyone has been talking about formally inducting Jael as a member of the pack. We already considered her a member, but it wouldn’t be official until she had our Mark. Sam entrusted asking Jael to join our family to me. I was just waiting for the right time to bring it up…Now seemed like it was time. Jael needed to know that she didn’t always have to run. We knew the chances of Niko finding her here were high, but that didn’t change our minds at all.

I’m not going to lie when I say I wanted Jael to join our pack solely for her sake. Not only would joining us ensure her protection, it’d mean she’d be here. With me. After all that’s happened to the both of us, I felt it was time we both moved on and started new lives. Of course I’d always be connected to Renesme in some way, but the cords that bonded us as imprints had all but frayed away. And I’m alright with that now. I knew Jael felt the same way with Niko, and she was getting over that. Why not start on a fresh page, together?

I stood up and brushed some dirt off of my suit jacket. I held out my hand, and when Jael took it I pulled her close and wrapped my arms around my waist and kissed her forehead, inhaling her sweet scent. I took a deep breath, bracing myself, not really knowing how to say what I wanted to say.

“I know you’ve been through so much. Too much. And I wasn’t sure how to go about this, because you’ve only been here for a couple of months, but I can’t wait anymore.” As Jael looked up at me, I couldn’t help but picture what our lives could’ve been like if things hadn’t turned out the way they did. I quickly shook that out of my mind. Jael was right; things happen for a reason. Maybe we were destined to be in each other’s lives, and this was how Fate decided we should meet.

Jael asked me what was wrong. I could tell she was anxious; she was biting her bottom lip and fiddling with her fingers. I shook my head and laughed. This was not how I wanted to go about asking her to join the pack. I was getting all tongue-tied, my stomach doing somersaults.

To hell with it, I’m just going to dive in and say it.

“Don’t go to Alaska, Jael. Please.” Okay, so I didn’t mean for it to come out like I was desperate or something, but at least I said it!

Jael looked shocked. She must have went weak at the knees, because she clinged onto me a little harder and stared at me with wide eyes. “What?” she quietly whispered.

Her being nervous made me nervous. I was cursing myself in my head; my voice was as shaky as a kid going through puberty and I stupidly kept scratching the back of my head. “Uh, I’ve already talked with everyone, and the feeling is unanimous. We all want-”

JACOB! JAEL!” Embry’s voice could be heard through the trees, obviously looking for us.

When he found us, he looked so embarrassed. It was like he caught us in the act or something.

“Look, I know this is a bad time and all for you two, but the reception is starting, and they need you two. And before Emily chews my head off, we need to go.”

Embry muttered another apology and jogged off towards the reception hall.

Great timing, Em; just what I needed. But I wasn’t going to drop the subject with Jael so easily. “As soon as all the speeches and everything are done, can we talk about this more? Hopefully, no more interruptions.” She answered by slowly nodding her head.

I wrapped my arm around Jael’s waist as we made our way back to the hall. I whispered sweet nothings into her ear, but I don’t think she heard me all the way; I think she was still in shock from what I was going to ask her before Embry interrupted me.

All of the guests were pretty much seated by now, waiting for the reception to start. Jael made her way over to her table; she was sitting with my dad, Sue Clearwater, and Sam and Emily’s respective parents. I made my way towards the hall where the bridal party was waiting to be announced. The bridal party –which mainly consisted of the pack, save some of Emily’s friends- were snickering at me as I made my way to the back of the line, taking my place next to the maid of honor. Embry had obviously told them his version of what happened between me and Jael on the Cliffside.

“So, uh, tell me Jake,” Paul began, “Was it before or after Embry showed up that you managed to get a sentence out of your stuttering mouth?”

“J-j-j-j-ael! P-p-p-p-please don’t go!!” Jared stuttered, obviously imitating me. “I l-l-l-ove you Jael! Jaeeeeeeel!!”

“That’s enough from you two,” said Leah. But as she turned to talk to me, she couldn’t help but snicker. “You know, you really do have the worst timing in the world, Jacob.”

“I know, but I couldn’t help myself. It felt like the right time, that is, ‘til Em showed up!” I said as I punched Embry on the arm as the rest of the bridal party busted out laughing.

“All I’m saying is, you better finish what you started, Jake. Look at her! You have that poor girl scared out of her wits; she probably has no idea what’s going on at all!” Leah exclaimed.

It was true. Looking over at the table Jael was sitting at, you could tell from the distant look in her eyes that her mind was racing. She was probably freaking out on the inside. I couldn’t help but laugh though; it felt good to know I made her nervous, because she made me feel that way too. That meant we had chemistry; excitement, among other things. With that in mind, maybe asking Jael to stay wouldn’t be so hard after all. I told Leah I’d ask her again tonight, and after she gave me an encouraging look, she started teasing me again, saying I wanted to steal Sam and Emily’s thunder.

After the bridal party was introduced to the guests and we were all seated, dinner began. Unlike most weddings, the menu consisted of smoked salmon, corn on the cob, salad, and a lot of other foods you’d think were too “messy” to eat at a wedding reception. Nonetheless, everyone enjoyed themselves as we all ate and drank under the twinkling icicle lights Alice had strung up on the ceiling. And before I knew it, it was time for me to stand up and propose a toast to the bride and groom.

Out of nowhere, my stomach started doing somersaults. I hated giving public speeches. I mean, I was usually pretty good at them, but I still hated them. Feeling my ears burning (they were no doubt turning red already) I tapped my knife on my champagne glass and cleared my throat.

“Hey, everyone. I’m Jacob, Sam’s best man. Uh...” My mind went blank. And seeing a hundred pairs of eyes staring at me wasn’t helping at all. But then I saw her gorgeous brown eyes and instantly relaxed. Jael smiled at me from her seat, and nodded her head, as if to say get on with it.

“I’ve known both Sam and Emily for a while now. And I can’t think of two people who’re better matched for each other. I remember when I was going through a rough time in my life,” I said, obviously referring to the time it took for me to get used to being a Shapeshifter, and everything that had went down between the Cullens. “Sam and Emily were there for me. And trust me, I wasn’t the easiest person to get along with; I’m sure Sam can tell you.”

“Damn straight!” Said Sam, which caused the audience to erupt in laughter.

Quieting down myself, I continued. “But not once have I ever heard them complain. About anything.” I looked at my fellow pack members, and then looked back at Jael. “Because Sam and Emily are just like that; they’re so welcoming and giving. They’re willing to help out whenever possible, and as a result, have touched the lives of so many, such as these wonderful people sitting at this table with me, and all of you,” I said as I swept my hand across the room. A few people whooped and clapped. I noticed Jael was one of them.

“And now we’re one big, happy family, joined by their union. Sam and Emily’s family has grown. And it continues to grow every day; whether it be in a new friend, an old one, or Sam and Emily’s latest escapade; and believe me, this one’s a doozy.” This time more people laughed, mostly the pack members, Jael, and the Elders. They all knew who I was talking about. I winked at Jael and she winked back, her eyes twinkling. She looked a lot calmer now, though I couldn’t tell if she was acting that way, or if she really was alright.

“And I have no doubt in my mind that these two are very much in love,” I went on, wrapping my arms around Sam and Emily’s shoulders, “because they have no problem reminding us whenever they get the chance!” Paul, Jared, Embry, and Quil all made kissing noises, which resulted in more laughter. “I know they will have many happy years together...so on behalf of the bride and groom, I’d like to thank you all for coming and celebrating Sam and Emily’s union. Now if you’d all be so kind as to raise your glasses, I and the rest of the wedding party would like to propose a toast to the happy couple and wish them years of blissful happiness and love. To Sam and Emily!”

“To Sam and Emily!” everyone chimed. As we all drank, Jael caught my eye. I raised my glass again, to her this time. She raised her glass and drank, never taking her eyes off of mine.

Emily’s maid of honor gave her speech after mine, which honestly, mainly consisted of her and Emily babbling to each other through tears. After that, it was the traditional dances between the bride and her father, and all that sappy stuff. The cake was cut; Emily got Sam real good, he spent a good ten minutes getting all of the frosting off of his face. Sam and Emily had their dance. Much to my dad’s contempt, Rachel had caught Emily’s bouquet while Paul caught the garter. I’ve ever see his face so red as Paul placed the garter on Rachel’s thigh with his teeth, earning catcalls from almost everyone in the room.

Towards the end of the night, the DJ asked all the couples to join the bride and groom on the dance floor. I awkwardly sat at the bridal party’s table, looking at Jael, as the rest of the pack joined Sam and Emily with their respective imprints. Alice twirled her way over to Jael, and whispered something in her ear. Jael responded by turning red and walking up to the dance floor. Alice conspicuously jerked her head at me and then to Jael. I got the picture and made my way over to Jael.

I didn’t even ask her to dance. I just held my hand out to her, which she quickly took. She placed her left hand on my shoulder as I wrapped my right around her waist, taking her other hand in mine. By then the DJ had another song playing- History in the Making by Darius Rucker- and everyone was dancing, enjoying each other’s company. My eyes never left Jael’s as we twirled across the dance floor. The twinkling lights were reflected in her eyes, shining like starts in the night.

Don’t move, Baby don’t move/Awww look at you/I just want to take this in/The moonlight dancing off your skin…

I could feel Jael’s heart beat against my chest. We were so close to each other now, closely pressed up against one another. I rested my forehead against hers; her heart beat sped up and she let out a nervous breath.

“You were in the middle of asking me something earlier?” she said.

Our time/ Lets take our time/I just want to look in your eyes and catch my breath/‘Cuz I just got a feeling…

That feeling of nervousness was gone now. I noticed in the corner of my eye that Sam and Emily were looking at Jael and I knowingly; an excited smile on Emily’s face.

“Stay here with us, Jael. Don’t go to Alaska. You could start a new life here, you could be happy here; with people who care about you and love you. We’d never hurt you. So will you stay?”

If it were possible for Jael’s eyes to get any bigger, or shine any brighter, she’d be seen from the heavens. But a look of doubt quickly replaced that joy. I knew what was coming. “But what about Niko? I’m not going to risk-”

“Everyone knows there’ll be risks. But like I’ve told you before, we’ll protect you. Don’t worry about the rest of us, we protect our family, and you’re a part of this pack now, a part of this family.”

This could be one of those memories/We want to hold on to, cling to, one we can’t forget/Baby, this could be our last first kiss/The door to forever/What if this was that moment/That chance worth taking/History in the making…

“You’re sure about this? All of you?” Jael tentatively asked. I responded by placing her left hand over my chest so that she could feel the steady beat of my heart.

“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my entire life,” I answered truthfully. “This is all up to you, Jael. This is your call.”

Inside, baby inside/Can you feel the butterflies? Floating all around/’Cuz I can sure feel them now/Tonight, maybe tonight/Is a start of a beautiful ride that will never end/And baby I’ve got a feeling…

She looked up at me and pressed her forehead against mine so that we were close once again. I felt her shiver as she looked me in the eye and said, “Ok. I’ll stay.”

I was smiling so much my cheeks hurt. Jael wrapped her arms around my neck as I pulled her close and lifted her off the ground, spinning her in a circle. When I put her down she crashed her lips against mine, taking me by surprise. Nonetheless I kissed her back with just as much passion, silently thanking the Ancestors for bringing this amazing woman into my life.

This could be one of those memories/We want to hold on to, cling to, one we can’t forget/Baby, this could be our last first kiss/The door to forever/What if this was that moment/That chance worth taking/History in the making…

Of course, the DJ had to ruin it by telling all of the couples who hadn’t been married for more than five hours to please leave the dance floor. He eventually got it down to the point where Emily’s parents were the only couple left and everyone congratulated them on being together for so long. Jael and I were a little disappointed, as our moment had been ruined. Sam, who was standing next to us with Emily as we clapped to the health of Emily’s parent’s marriage, cleared his throat and jerked his head outside towards the gazebo Alice had decorated with more twinkling lights. “Thanks,” I mouthed, and inconspicuously pulled Jael towards the hall doors.

Right here, right now/Holding you in my arms…

Jael was giggling like a madwoman as I spun her around the gazebo. There was a small fountain not too far away; we could hear the trickling water as we danced. I slowed down and the mood turned serious, and in my opinion, almost lustful. Jael was looking at me with a hunger I had never seen before. I kissed her, softly at first, but tossed any and all formalities aside as I deepened the kiss. Jael had her hands all tangled up in my hair, and my hands were holding her as close as possible to me. I kissed her from her collarbone to that spot just below her ear, and she softly moaned in pleasure, which only made me want her more. Our tongues were playing with one another as we heard the unmistakable sound of Jared’s whooping laughter.

“Ahhoooowwww! We got us some new blood, eh?” he said as the rest of the pack joined us at the gazebo. They were all smiling with excitement. Jael was slightly blushing, her cheeks tinged with pink.

Sam and Emily came up to the front of the group. “Well Jael?” Sam asked, “Have you given Jacob an answer? Will you stay with us?”

“Yes!” Jael firmly said with a smile. The whole group whooped and cheered as they grabbed Jael and attempted to crush her already semi-healed body in a group hug.

“Hey hey hey!” I yelled, “She’s still got some cracked ribs, take it easy on her!” I pulled Jael from the mess of tangled limbs and held her to my chest. She was laughing the whole time.

“You know what this means, right?” said Paul.

“Initiation ceremony!” cried Quil. Everyone started cheering again.

“Only,” said Sam. “Only, if that’s what she wants. She said she wants to stay, not that she wanted to join our pack.”

This time I stood with my pack. All of us were looking at Jael with anticipating stares. Jared was even giving her puppy-dog eyes. Jael laughed as she stuck out her right arm.

“I’d be honored. When do I get my Mark?!” she laughed.

I didn’t even bother trying to stop the hugs, since I was the first one to grab Jael. Everyone went on about when was a good time for the ceremony, their excitement evident on their faces. Jael was resting her head on my shoulder, watching everyone. I started whispering in her ear again, telling her how happy I was right now. She whispered in my ear, “Because of you, I will never forget tonight.”

Then she looked at me and kissed me in front of everyone. We didn’t even pay attention to the catcalls and teasing noises the pack made.

This could be one of those memories/We want to hold on to, we want to cling to, One that we can’t forget/Baby, this could be our last first kiss/The door to forever/What if this was that moment/That chance worth taking/History in the making…