Start Living Now

I woke up the next day feeling slightly sore, but much better. It didn’t hurt to breathe so much anymore. The wheelchair was tucked away in a corner of Jacob’s closet, where I insisted he leave it as soon as we got home yesterday. I hated that thing; so long as I could walk, I wouldn’t use it. As I carefully turned over onto my side I looked over to see the empty side of Jacob’s bed. He must have gotten up early this morning; I had slept in until eleven, right through my alarm. My drowsy thoughts of Jacob and I quickly turned to perplexed surprise as I saw the folded up note next to a small bouquet of bright red flowers that faded from pink to white as the petals opened.

I wanted you to sleep in today, so I turned off the alarm. Don’t worry about it, stay in bed as long as you feel like it. I brought you breakfast and laid out your clothes for tonight. If I’m not back before you wake, just want you to know- Emily and Lea are going to stop by later today for all that girly stuff you do to get ready for your initiation!☺

I can’t even begin to explain how happy you’ve made me, Jael. You joining the pack, becoming part of my family our family- it’s yours now too! - means more to me than you know. I’ll see your beautiful face later.

-Jacob
P.S. I knew you’d ask; the flowers are Coast Rhododendrons from First Beach.
P.P.S. Don’t shower before Emily and Leah come over. Trust me!

Wondering what that last sentence about Leah and Emily could have meant, I looked around the room, trying to ignore my growling stomach. Jake left a delicately carved breakfast tray on the desk; a giant bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, some milk and orange juice, and my favorite- blueberry muffins. Needless to say, the tray was empty within a couple of minutes. As for my clothes, I was deeply impressed. Jacob had chosen a beige asymmetrical cotton dress with sheer fabric over it. The sheer was covered in patterns that looked like they could have been woven by Quileute seamstresses, and ranged in colors from brown to a pale red. The dress had delicately beaded straps as well. He also left out some simple crème-colored thing sandals and the arm band he made for me. For not knowing anything about women’s fashion, Jacob surprisingly had good taste.

After I finished my breakfast and admired Jacob’s taste in clothing, I crawled back into bed, not bothering with the covers. I fell right asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

It felt like only minutes had passed where I was in that in-between stage of being awake and asleep. I felt a warm, strong hand press against my stomach and pull me towards a chiseled torso.

“Good morning starshine, did you sleep good?” Jacob asked as he ran a hand down my side, sending shivers throughout my body.

“Mmhm,” I moaned. I stretched and arched myself into Jacob’s curves so that every bit of skin between us touched. The heat was intense, the sensation electrifying.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day.” Jacob whispered into my ear. I tried to stifle small moans of pleasure as his lips met my neck and left a trail of kisses up towards my earlobe, which he softly sucked on.

I turned over and kissed him seductively on the mouth, softly biting on his bottom lip as our lips separated. He grabbed my face and pulled me closer to him, if that were even possible. I wrapped one of my legs over the side of his hip and pulled him even closer.

“Oh, Jake!” I groaned as he crawled pressed his hips to mine and started grinding them into me.

“Jacob? Why would you want a pansy like him?”

I opened my eyes in shock. Niko was hovering over me, his face almost pressing into mine.

“You know you can’t hide from me forever, Jael. I’ll find you!”

“NOOOO!” I screamed, trying to pry Niko off of me, but he was just too strong.

“Jael!! It’s me! I’m not gonna hurt you!” This time when I opened my eyes, Jacob was looking right at me. I sat up in bed and he moved to give me more room. It didn’t matter to me anyway because I crawled into his lap anyway, clutching onto to him with all my strength.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay Honey. It was just a dream.” Jacob wrapped his arms around me, stroking my hair every now and again. I told him everything about my nightmare; Jacob was always good at calming me down, he always knew what to do or say.

“So you almost had a sexy dream about us, huh?” Jacob teased. His way of trying to make me feel better was by turning it into a joke; it was working.

“Quit it, jerk!” I punched his arm.

“And freakin’ Niko comes in and ruins it.” He feigned annoyance. “Geez, everyone’s cockblocking me these days!”

I scoffed. “You didn’t not just say that!”

Jacob changed the subject. “So in this dream of yours, what were we doing again? Exactly?”

“Kissing.”

“Kissing how, like this?” He quickly pecked me on the lips and looked at me, his eyes mischievous, mixed with lust.

“Nu-uh,” I replied. I positioned myself in his lap so that I was more comfortable.

“How ‘bout like this?” He kissed me slowly and softly.

“Hmm, a little bit.”

“This?” He grabbed my face with both hands, kissing me so seductively I shivered and sighed with enjoyment.

“Uh-huh,” I responded, practically numb by then.

Jacob started kissing me again. This time I kissed him back with just as much passion. He pulled me lower onto his lap and ran his tongue across my lower lip. We kissed each other open mouthed. Our tongues teased each other, and I ran my fingernails down Jacob’s spine. It was his turned to shiver.

“Wait.”

And the kissing stopped. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I don’t want to hurt you. And Carlisle said-”

“No intimacy. Right. Um -”

“I’m not gonna take that chance, Honey. Not yet.” I understood what he meant. Not only were we an unofficial couple, but neither one of us were the type to just jump into a physical relationship so quickly.

“I agree. So what now?” I sighed and then flopped off of Jake’s lap and onto the mattress.

“I don’t know. But I have another idea.” His cheeks began to become flush. “Well, I was going to wait ‘til after the initiation; I really didn’t want to make this cliché. And I didn’t want to sound like a little kid and ask. But-”

“Are you asking me out, Jacob?” I asked, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. As cruel as it sounds, I love watching Jacob squirm when it comes to expressing his feelings. It means I make him nervous. I think that’s a good thing.

“I didn’t want it to come out like this! But, yeah, I am.” He was blushing furiously now.

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes! Of course I’ll go out with you, dork!”

And the kissing started again. Only, Jacob locked the door this time.

“Ok, so dish the dirt, Jael! Why are you in such a good mood?” Emily asked through the rear-view mirror of her Jeep.

“No reason! Just am!” Ever since Emily and Leah came to pick me up from the house, they knew something had happened between Jacob and I based on the smile plastered on my face. That, and, Jacob couldn’t help but give me a very provocative good-bye kiss from the front porch.

“Liar!” Leah teased as she leaned over the front passenger seat. “I know what it is; he finally asked you out, didn’t he?!”

“What?!” Emily screamed. She pulled over to the side of the road and slammed on the brakes. “How come you knew this and didn’t tell me?!” She obviously meant Leah.

“Easy,” Leah shrugged. “He told me the other day when we had night duty. It’s not exactly easy to keep one’s thoughts private when another pack member can read them.” She leaned back over the seat to look at me. “Besides, you’re all he was thinking about that night anyway.”

I had to endure the girl’s “awww-ing” at my flushed face for the rest of the ride.

The rest of the day went by so quickly I hardly had time to process it all. The boys had made a sweat lodge behind Sam and Emily’s house and I spent a good four hours in it with Leah. Emily was waiting outside the lodge with Seth in case we needed anything. The lodge itself was made out of smooth rocks from First Beach and random bits of cut bark and wood. It looked shabby, but I knew that they had carefully constructed it; sweat lodges were part of important rituals to many tribes on the West Coast. Leah and I had changed into simple, loose dresses made out of linen. Leah, as the leader of the ceremony laid out a few herbs and sticks of incense. A fire was in the center of the lodge, facing north. It was completely dark inside; the only light we had came from the fire. Leah started the purification ceremony by placing cold water on the hot rocks by the fire. The lodge immediately smoked, like a sauna. We spent the first couple of hours in complete silence, meditating. The point was to rid ourselves of worldly connections and emotions so we could become one with the Spirits, which was exactly what I needed in order to start a new life here in La Push. Leah ended the ceremony with a prayer to the Ancestors and the Spirits.

By the time we had finished the cleansing ritual and got ready for my initiation, the sun had already set. Emily drove us to First Beach, where the rest of the pack was waiting. A large fire was burning. It felt like any other night at First Beach; hot dogs and laughter. Billy and Sue were seated on the northern side of the fire pit, talking quietly amongst themselves. As we walked towards the rest of the group, they took their respective places by the fire- Jacob and Sam, as the leaders, sat next to Billy. I remained standing in front of them. I could feel my cheeks flushing; all eyes were on me. It was unsettling.

“Haƈh awí. Good evening,” Billy began, “We are all here tonight to welcome a new member into our family. We have already accepted her physical presence, so it is only right that Jael fully become a comrade to this pack of ours. Jael, come sit next to me.”

I took a seat between Jacob and Billy. Jacob placed his hand on my back for a brief moment and smiled at me reassuringly. Billy anointed my head with something that smelled a lot like fish oil, and began the ritual. He spoke in the Old Language; the closest match there was to both the Quileute and Quinault tongue. Jared and Paul were quietly playing the drums, while Sue and Emily softly sang, telling the tale of our Ancestors. Once the anointing ritual was completed, Billy began the induction ceremony.

“Jael, do you swear to uphold the values and traditions of our tribe?” he asked.

“I do.”

“Will you, as the third Alpha, lead your fellow brothers and sisters in a just and respectable manner?”

At this point, Jacob and Sam faced me. “We believe it wasn’t our place to renounce your birthright,” Sam said. “You are more than welcome to lead alongside Jacob and I.”

Billy repeated the question, to which I responded yes.

“And finally, will you swear to protect our land from any and all threats?”

“I will.”

With a smile on his face, Seth brought forward a bowl of thick black ink, a hollow tube with a fine tip and a small device that resembled a hammer. All of the devices were made out of wood.

Jacob had been wiping an antibacterial wipe on my forearm while Billy and Sam prepared the materials.

“This may sting a bit, Jael,” Billy said. “When you’re ready.”

I nodded and he began tattooing the pack’s symbol on my arm. The first strike with the small wooden mallet brought tears to my eyes but in time my arm adjusted to the pain and before I knew it, Billy had finished. He held up a small mirror so I could see his handiwork. The Mark looked just like everyone else’s.

“Welcome to the family Jael,” he chuckled.

After that, the night wasn’t so quiet, as we celebrated into the early morning light. I was now officially a member of the Quileute wolf pack. As Jacob put it, I had a family once again. And that made all the difference.